looked around but cant really find a straight forward answer, if its not legal would a work around be to rent a server outside of aus and run the site of there? Thanks

Hi,
Is it legal to run a website where you can gamble with virtual money and then cash out the virtual money?

Can I legally use another person's account for a bookmaker to place bets? This would involve transferring them money, depositing using their credit card, placing bets using my own device and internet connection, and withdrawing to their account to have them transfer the money to me. They would be aware of the entire situation and I would have their permission.
This is 100% against the bookmaker's rules, and they can freeze accounts for it. But is it against the law?
Victoria, Australia.

'''
I am surprised that sports gambling is not already legal in the United States. Do you have gambling on political events?
In Australia, we can literally place a [bet]¹ on whether Donald Trump will be arrested for public nudity during his upcoming meeting with Kim Jong-Un in Singapore.
'''
Context Link
Go1dfish undelete link
unreddit undelete link
Author: chicken-teriyaki
1: w**.sp**t*be*.com.au/bettin*/p*l*ti*s/*onald-t*ump/**at-will-Tru**-*e-Arrested-f***i**Singap*re-**25*45.h*ml
Unknown links are censored to prevent spreading illicit content.

I want to preface that the contents of this post is for informational purposes. I do not condone or approve of any harassments or witch-hunting or the attacking of anybody.
 
Richard Lewis recently did a stream talking about the terrible state of CS esports and I thought it was an important stream anyone who cares about the CS community should listen to.
Vod Link here: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/830415547
I realize it is 3 hours long so I took it upon myself to create a list of interesting points from the stream so you don't have to listen to the whole thing, although I still encourage you to do so if you can.
I know this post is still long but probably easier to digest, especially in parts.
Here is a link to my raw notes if you for some reason want to read through this which includes some omitted stuff. It's in chronological order of things said in the stream and has some time stamps. https://pastebin.com/6QWTLr8T

Intro

• "The last month has convinced me, that we are going to be heading into a dark place for Counter-Strike esports in 2021."
  • "I think I've seen the scene essentially kill itself."
• "For the past 5 to 6 years, we've basically been in a holding pattern of people coming into our game wanting to run it, wanting to run all of the esports and wanting to profiteer and its been sort of a concerted effort to drive them off and push them away."
  • "We're spread way too thin."
• "If Riot don't get involved and stop the scumbags that have moved over to Valorant from getting their feet under the table, Valorant is going to have real problems."
• RL thinks too much has happened all at once for us to do anything except watch it play out, like:
  • Recent CSPPA strike against BLAST
  • ESIC failures and them not being supported enough
  • Teams cheating i.e. coaches/bugs
  • Widespread match fixing
  • The Pandemic
    • "People who try to hold bubble events are so incompetent and fuck up and people get the 'rona and its their fault."
    • "People who say Flashpoint is a bubble is full of shit and is a lie and people are now suffering for that lie."
      • "To save money they let people go home and break the bubble for a week."
      • "Not just Flashpoint peoples decision, they have a partner that handles the production." (hinting FACEIT)
      • "People are trapped in hotels essentially under house arrest because of COVID restrictions and has fucked peoples lives up."
• "It's all too much, all of this incompetence, all of this greed, maybe we ride it out."
  • RL says he has talked to the Riot devs (the ones working on Valorant) and says, "They are so cognizant of all the fuck ups and all the problems we have in Counter-Strike."
    • He continues to say that this is factored into their business plan and that we never had a competitor, but just so happens to have one coincide, when we are at our worst.

CSPPA - Counter-Strike Professional Players' Association

"Who does this union really fucking serve?"

• RL believes that the CSPPA is a mockery.
  
  • He points out the hypocrisy that they wouldn't strike for the pros who were kicked out of ESL Pro League, or for Jamppi or dream3r.
    • He also says ESL paid CSPPA and are racketeering and many other TOs have to pay them to get their "seal of approval"
      • He says they would strong-arm TOs saying "well if you don't give us the money, these guys are so we'll just have to commit to playing their event."
    • Also points out that they will strike against a competitor they are not in agreement with (Flashpoint)
    • RL: "It's what it says about every other time you haven't done it and it's about every time you don't do it now moving forward." "The issues they've chosen to ignore this year alone are embarrassing."
    • Then he points out that there was no strike for Valve qualifiers even if we have no major but Jamppi and dream3r can't play in them.
      • "and Valve have said 'Oh yeah we know actually their stories are accurate, Jamppi didn't cheat, now in a legally binding document. Yep dream3r did have his account hacked in a LAN café', but they still can't play. Where is the fucking solidarity? Gone. Doesn't exist. It's not important [because] it doesn't affect you." "That's what the union does right now, it looks after all the tier 1 people."
• He says the CSPPA doesn't represent all players all the time and has driven a divide where you have the haves and have-nots
  
  • "We have a tier of players that operate with impunity and do not help their tier 2 or tier 3 players out at all." "If you are not a tier 1 player you do not matter, they don't event ask your opinion."
  • He tells chrisJ to admit and own the fact that the reason he didn't speak up during the ESL Pro League debacle is because it didn't affect him
  • "They are looking after some players at the expense of other players. How the fuck is that a union?"
• He says the BLAST situation is a reasonable dispute and supports the players but is not the right time for a strike and have not even identified the correct enemy
  
  • He thinks players are lashing out now due to previous incidents and are upset that BLAST are working with ESIC
    • He stated that CSPPA shouldn't beefing with ESIC and they should be working in harmony
  • He says what they need to do is talk with the teams/organizations that have sold that right to BLAST
    • RL: "Your employers, the people who pay you that massive exorbitant salaries, when you don't stream and you don't do interviews and you offer no value beyond your ability to click heads and you get 25k dollars a month." "Why don't you talk to them about it? Oh right. You're happy to take away BLAST's paper, but you don't want to risk your own."
  • "I am seeing such unbelievable cowardice from the players here with the battles you choose."
  • "Where was the strike action when in the qualifiers for the world championship, there were teams and players engaged in huge conflicts of interest?" "Where was the strike action when your image rights were taken and sold to every league you've ever been in every union type organization you've ever been associated with like, WESA, to your org every time you sign a contract, to the leagues you play in."
    • "Your image rights are essentially worthless now, there's about 10 fucking separate parties that have them, and how many of them are giving you anything for it? Not much pretty much your org by the way."
    • "That's a big issue. Your image is you, your image is your brand. What are you doing about that? Nothing."
• He is also angry at SirScoots who is "popping off" at people on Twitter who all want the same thing, which is 'A unified Counter-Strike scene for everybody, that works for everybody, that has a sustained ecosystem that nourishes everybody.' "We don't have that now."
  
• He also says their rankings are a joke
  
  • "Just so happened, oh look TACO, that very important prominent member of the board, we pushed his team artificially up when they weren't even in the fucking top 20, not by a long shot."
• He also says the ineptitude of the CSPPA cost Flashpoint a monitor sponsor
  
• "Is it really a player association or is it like a fucking agency at this point"
  

ESIC - Esports Integrity Commission

"They have been put in an impossible position."

• RL says that Ian Smith, the founder of ESIC and who was done work in mainstream sports, is a good and honorable man who has dedicated his life to integrity and sports. He takes on both sides, ensuring match fixers are punished, but also doing appeals and ensuring those punishments were fair.
• "ESIC is a tiny organization" and are in need of money, "They didn't run a grift like the CSPPA did."
  • "Saying 'you want our support and you want the players to turn up you better pay us.' They don't do that."
  • "Had startup seed money from MTG and since then they've been pecking shit with the hens."
    • Ian Smith made sure that the money given by MTG (Modern Times Group, parent company of ESL, ESEA, DreamHack) was nothing more than startup money and wouldn't be in debt to them
      • Ian Smith sat down with other TO's not part of MTG and wanted to partner with them. They declined and called ESIC "ESL spies and we will never align ourselves with you"
  • "They only were just able to afford, hiring a PR guy on a full time salary to deal with the press and send out those releases you've seen, this year."
    • "They have a tiny group of staff investigating these things and they have taken on the biggest problems in our scene: the cheating, the match fixing."
• ESIC have had "unprecedented levels of cheating to deal with, because there's something wrong with our scene ever since we went online. There's something wrong with it, everyone's lost their fucking pride and self-respect and they got no passion for it anymore, so they think fuck it, what's in it for me?"
  • He calls out coaches who are talking about players rights when they would rob and steal from them.
    • Also says more coaches being banned are coming
    • He also points out flaws in community's reaction to the punishments to coaches bans: "Half of the cunts still have jobs and some of the cunts got new jobs. We didn't even shun the cheating coaches."
• ESIC have "found I think another 2 or 3 exploits like that one and they are investigating them all right now, it's going on right now."
  
  • "I know that there are going to be more names getting banned, again."
  • "So they're doing that on a skeleton crew while, investigating 3 continents worth of match fixing in MDL and semi-pro level CS." "They're doing this with half a dozen people." "They don't have any money or any help. People barely even fucking cooperate with them, they are treated like pariahs. It's ridiculous."
    • "Why are the CSPPA popping off at ESIC on my Twitter timeline, when you should be working together." "because its all about what's in it in for me." "2020, the online era of CS: 'What is in it for me?' How can I cheat, how can I get my paper, how can I bleed this scene one last time before I fuck off and play shooty shooty bang bang Riot Games babys first fps."
• RL says that in the CIS region, teams have gone to tournaments and have been eliminated multiple times by the same team. We found out they were cheating and those players who lost, have been cut from their roster, careers ended because of cheaters.
  

Stream Sniping

"They're all at it in the online era, they're all at it, they're all cheating, they're all using exploits, probably that see through smoke bug got used a bunch of times"

• RL talks about how there is no integrity from dead (the player), always denying when caught doing something
  • On the topic of 'BLAST never said we couldn't stream snipe': "Lies, BLAST never said you could do that, they had to sort of retcon it." "because what happened after that they fucking started snitching and squealing"
    • "Suddenly you had like, 10 of the top 15 teams in the world, staring into the abyss of being banned for 6-12 months in line with ESIC recommendations."
      • He says that ESIC was put in a tough situation and couldn't enforce the bans because it would have resulted in killing CS. What resulted was, BLAST, ESIC, and teams came together and gave them a warning and told them, in RL's words "don't do this again or you're gonna get got."
        • He then says the top teams brushed this off and didn't give a fuck
        • The new MiBR team playing Flashpoint, that wasn't involved in the previous incidents are doing it again (stream sniping). He gave credit to Flashpoint for the quick resolution and punishment and respect for cogu's response to the situation.
        • "ESIC came out and said, once more, 'Guys, zero tolerance from now on.'" RL then got upset at community's reaction calling ESIC "pussies" for their non enforcement and said if we want competitive CS we cant ban the top 10 teams.
• He points out how players have no integrity and will do anything for an edge as long as they won't get detected or banned or it's within a grey area.
• "All of this shit was mad avoidable, even in the pandemic era."
  • He talks about why aren't we filming them. Why aren't there representatives for leagues and tournaments making sure players aren't cheating?

Match Fixing

"How many years have we let our scene be fucking pillaged by these greedy cunts?" "We just let it happen."

• RL says that gambling and skins betting which existed in moderation was "accelerated and blown up by the Call of Duty greedy fucks."
  • "Never forget TmarTn was on the board of EnVyUs." "His website, CSGOLotto, they had a bunch of off-the-books sponsorships." "NBK promoted them. People forget."
• "Those people who had access to the skins, go to the players" "Even people like s1mple, best player in the world, even he scammed knives and skins off fucking fans."
• Owners of skin casino sites would approach pros and lend them skins to use in tournaments and possibly keep them after reaching a deal
  • Players would tip off inside info about matches and teams in exchange for skins. Info such as: roster changes, how they played in scrims
    • They would use this info to bet and subvert the odds on their sites. "That happened religiously, I can't even tell you how many times it happened."
      • "I had access to the biggest database of information, from an inside betting circle in NA, and it would take information and screenshots from other pro players, who were feeding them info in exchange for money or skins."
        • "Some of these players are still playing." "Incredibly, there are players still in the CSPPA today, complaining about the BLAST recordings, that were embroiled in this murky shit back then."
• RL also says that there were tournaments where teams contrived with each other, who should throw, who should win.
• "There's a handful of people that are trying to fucking clean it up, and you think you get something over the line and you see something like the CSPPA and it's run by corrupt fucking chuckle heads, and now you've got another corrupt body you have to fight on a fucking daily basis, it's demoralizing."
  • "It's too far gone. Our entire semi-professional scene is compromised."
• "It's rife guys, I'm not going to lie any more. It's not just China, it's not just Russia, it's here, it's NA, it's Europe, it's Australia, so much more than you think, so much more than we can prove."
  • "I get sent chat logs all the time […] and they're morons, these players, short-sighted, amateur, morons and they're doing it on WhatsApp." People would get cut from the bets because they want to make more money, then they leak the logs. He says, from the chat logs, they spread "little" bets across every site they can (400 to 1k dollars) to prevent shifting odds
• He says the scumbags who've fucked off to Valorant will do the same there if Riot doesn't do something and says Valorant "is an esports scene heading for a very early fall based on the sheer volume of scumbags that are already there."
• "That's tier 2 CS in a nutshell these days. They know they're never going to play in a major, so what's the punishment?"
  • "All of these tier 2 fucks that are fixing games now they are like the fucking mafia compared to iBuyPower" "These guys are working with organized criminals to fix entire seasons worth of games. That's what's going on in your tier 2 CS."
• "I'm literally being told that there are players fixing games at all levels of Chinese esports and motherfuckers with guns are turning up to team houses and stuff."

North America

"Everyone in NA has left we've lost a continents worth of support during this pandemic and Valve haven't said a fucking word."

• RL says the Call of Duty "goblins" that destroyed CS for years are the same people who are now trying to leave CS. "The nerve to treat a game where the fans, and the community, and the TO's were nothing but good to you." "To just kick the players out now and go and leave and say 'It just doesn't make financial sense.' Oh you'll slither back when we have a major though for them stickers won't you."
• There's a cascading effect in NA where people don't bother with CS anymore and people like Chaos suffer.
• He says NA team owners are incompetent for always wanting it easy and always wanting a guarantee on their investment without skill or nuance.
  • RL says he would be able to market a team correctly and would have a good ROI and also points out how TSM wouldn't even be bothered to tweet that their team, which was one of the best in the world, was playing at the Major.
  • He also says not all NA owners are like that, compliments and respects Jason Lake who nearly lost everything to keep Complexity going.
• He then calls out the incompetence in Infinite Esports when they acquired OpTic Gaming and bought an Indian CS team.
  • He says HECZ is not to blame here and that they couldn't tell forsaken was cheating when it was so obvious.
    • They measured his reaction time to the likes of dev1ce and s1mple
    • When an enemy showed up on his screen he won that duel something like 44% of the time
    • "was like the number 1 player in the world statistically"
    • He brought a laptop to their bootcamp and refused to use the high end PCs that hey provided
• He respects Andy Miller (NRG CEO) and HECZ but says that the attitude of not being able to easily monetize their teams is "piss weak" and there needs to be a risk.
  • He says Chaos EC shouldn't be cutting their roster and should be competent enough to be able to figure out how to make money off their team.
• He says there are still opportunities in NA and people are panicking and pulling out, and says Valorant will be the same if not worse.
  • He also says "bums" who couldn't even get out of groups in NA competitions, are making crazy money in Valorant and says it will continue to inflate.
• He also said that he heard rumors that EG (Evil Geniuses) are done.
• He also thinks that the rumors of a Valve franchised league from before was sparked up from "these lazy fabled weak NA fucking team owners basically trying to see if Valve would bite at the hook if it was dangled and they didn't"
  • Slasher says NA team owners are really in favor of franchised leagues because they want to make more money. "Most of the powerful team owners right now are on board with ditching this third party organization structure, or they are trying to play this power politics with all the TOs, and that is contributing to a lot of the problems there"
• RL says that Riot has proved they can run a franchised league (LCS) and will be profitable in 2021 which is what a lot of team owners care about and says the competition will only serve to snatch people away from CS.
• RL continues to say, "I am so sick and tired of what we have done to this scene, I am just exhausted with it." "I think we have legitimately fucked it, I really think we have. I think we're staring into almost like a CGS (Championship Gaming Series) wasteland in NA." "Counter-Strike esports is a fucking joke."

Talent

"TO's have treated CS talent like absolute human garbage for years now."

• RL says that people like Sean Gares and ddk switching over to Valorant isn't for financial reasons because they are making less over there.
• He points out that TO's can't even give talent a 3 month in advance calendar.
• Because of the pandemic TO's won't hire certain people and some people are working more hours for the same money.
• He says we as a community don't respect journalists enough which is why we don't have good journalists.
  • He also says DeKay is leaving the scene soon and that Thorin is close to leaving also
• He says he had to talk a caster down from quitting and was struggling to find reasons.
• He says that DreamHack told Vince they would hire him but not if he wants to stick with dusT and says that this is the norm in esports. "Constant leveraging of people against each other." and says this is why we don't have a talent union.
• New gen casters are getting put into shit situations and the community's reaction to them is adding fuel to the fire
• He says the reason Moses left was because of the terrible conditions
• He says that Anders had to constantly leave his family and kid because someone fucked up or broke promises and had to constantly tell his kid to their face that "daddy can't be home this weekend."
• He says that esports has always been a lie to sell you this dream, "Meanwhile there's about 2% of the cunts getting all the checks."

Valve

"Anything that Riot does, is better than Valve's inaction"

• Slasher says that the larger aspect of esports as a whole compared to other entertainment mediums and Valve's lack of inattention are the bigger problems. He continues saying that the fact that Valve let their game be ran as an esport, they need to take on the responsibilities of it.
  • Both Slasher and RL wants Valve to take control but not on the level of Riot Games, there needs to be a balance.
• In case it was ever a question: Gabe Newell has been to 0 CSGO Majors.
• RL calls Valve out saying they could have done something during the gambling era.
• He says Valve used to come to the majors, but doesn't think they do anymore.
• RL had met with Valve at the Cluj-Napoca Major and had tried to appeal iBP's indefinite punishment and had also gave Brax's life story:
  • A recent family member passed away, they had lost a lot of income, they had to live in trailer, iBuyPower did not pay any salaries, and was pressured by family to make money who didn't support his career.
  • RL said that Valve told him, "How dare you try and make us feel guilty." "We shouldn't feel bad about enforcing the only thing that matters that we need to make players afraid of: cheating and match fixing"
  • RL also tried to share other info about match fixing and nothing came of it
• RL points out that Source 2 or a new engine is not something you will want based on the experience of transitioning from CS 1.6 to CS:S. "Valve's track record with brand new engines being launched, not fucking great from what I remember."
• Slasher says "If there is anything the community should do, is pressure Valve to hire a community manager."
  • They say that we need a commissioner, a community manager (not the person who runs the Twitter who posts memes all day), then we need to have a circuit
• RL reiterates that Valve doesn't care about CS esports and says they need to change the culture at Valve to make them care about CS esports
  • Slasher says a systemic problem is making it so working on CSGO would be a bad decision for you as an employee for Valve
• He also hasn't talked to Valve in ages and have sent over bugs and cheats and doesn't get emails back anymore
• Slasher says we should be directing attention at the developer leads, pointing out Ido Magal, if he even is still the project lead
  • RL thinks that Ido and Brian are the only people that "vaguely even give a fuck about CS" and were the only people that RL recalled that actually read Reddit and paid attention from time to time
• "It is really fucking precarious. Somebody has got to step the fuck up and start giving a shit"
  • Slasher suggests org owners, with CSPPA, with ESIC, with TOs have a concerted effort against Valve
• "Riot Games are doing better things than Valve in the esports space" which is something RL didn't think he'd say.
• "People who used to be talent, working with unions, arguing with other talent, when the unions fucked them over, can't understand their perspective, TOs fucking over broadcast talent, broadcast talent wanting to leave and go and work for orgs, orgs having no money, Valve might take coaches away because all the coaches are cheating, ESIC has about 4 people in a fucking call doing the investigations, everyone thinks they're spies for ESL, ESL are just the evil fucking overlords wanting to rule the scene and will just somehow, like cockroaches outliving a nuclear bomb, and Valve are in a fucking holiday in Hawaii thinking about the next Dota character because they don't give a fuck about us."

Closing Statements

"We've peaked. If we want to sustain and exist, now is the time to figure it out. No esports lasts as long as this, we've already done 8 years. We've already broke the records. We have got to figure out a way to coexist and drive the negative forces out and we need to do it as a collective and we're not doing that."

• RL compared the Counter-Strike scene to the people on the Titanic who ran around with guns robbing people while the boat was sinking.
• "We have given up on being a respectable esports scene." "We are now a conduit to make money for those who want to just milk it, just have one last ride, one last roll of the dice. It's done." "What a fucking mess. What have we done to our fucking scene?"
• "There's just too much self-interest driving all of this." "I don't see a way we stop the dominoes." "When it's that bad, when there's that many dishonest people that ESIC have to come out and say that if we punish them all there's no one left. What does that tell you?"
• "How many opportunities have we had to clean house? How many times have we said, 'this must never happen again', and another scandal." "The entire skins betting operations was the biggest criminal conspiracy in esports ever executed and no one has been punished for it." "The people who could be driving that don't want to."
• "Right now people are fans of those organizations because the scene has value. It is worth being a fan of Astralis because they are excellent at Counter-Strike. It is worth being a fan of s1mple because he is the best player in Counter-Strike, maybe the exception of ZywOo. If the scene is devalued, if the scene loses its meaning, those things lose its meaning too, and people will leave, people will stop tuning into the games. I have seen it happen in multiple esports, this is not my first time at the rodeo. I am getting big Brood War vibes right now and I don't like it."
• "The role you play in all of this as fans, as viewers, as listeners, as consumers of esports content, it's absolutely imperative that you know who the good guys are. It's absolutely imperative that you use your voice. It's absolutely imperative that when things are bad, you know who, at least, is trying to make them good, and you have to apply your criticism to the right targets."
  • He continues saying it's no good in continuing to attack ESIC and saying how they are bad, ESIC have it hard
• He says CSPPA are on the right side of the argument on BLAST but have been on the wrong side of many arguments many times.
  • "If you are not willing to stand along side the weakest member of the union, with the least amount of influence, and the least amount of power, then it is not a union at all and you shouldn't pose as one." "You wanna serve a bunch of special interest do it, everyone else in esports fucking does, but do not pose as something you are not." "We love the players. I've been fighting for players rights for as long as I've been able to, but the CSPPA is not what we needed."
    • "They are not applying the pressure to the right people, they are not fighting the right battles, they are not helping their weaker members."
• He says what orgs have done by keeping or hiring coaches is bad. "When you give up on holding an appreciable standard, you've lost the scene" "Competition matters, rules matter, punishments matter, achievements matter, excellence matters" "If you start stripping that away, you have nothing" "You guys need to take that knowledge and apply it sensibly."
• "Valve has sold you all down the river, they sold everyone in the esports scene down the river, tournament organizers are selling their talent down the river. Don't hate on them for sounding tired after a 16 hour day. Don't hate on them because the hype for a matchup they've seen for the 20th time in the past 3 months, they can't be as excited or it sounds contrived. Support your guys, they're there for you, these are your people."
• "This community has got to start acting like one for the first fucking time. Just put the petty shit away, let's try and fix this fucking scene while we still have one to save."
• "You can't rely on Valve, you can't rely on ESL, you can't rely on the CSPPA, you can't rely on anyone." "Once again, it's gonna be the likes of us, the amateurs, the people who give a fuck, rolling up our sleeves and grafting." "I'm old and tired and I don't want to have to do it again. People need to pick up the torch and do it."
  • "Like Michal did, like Dudenhoeffer did. You see something wrong, fix it. You see somebody doing something wrong, call it out. If you think something could be better, let people know."
• "Vote with your wallets if you're not happy with the direction Valve goes in. If when we do get to the Major, they serve up another subpar, same old bullshit stickers and signatures package again, do not buy it."
  • "You're a powerful block and if you use it correctly we can fucking avert this disaster."
• "I'm not doing another year in this broken, bust-up fucking scene, where everyone is miserable, everyone is broke, everyone is tired, and everyone is trying to fucking rob everyone else, blind, while the fucking people who are meant to be protecting you, are just fucking enhancing it and lining their own pockets."
  • "I'm not doing it anymore and you shouldn't want to do it either."
• "I stand by every fucking thing I said. I mean it, because this game fucking matters to me, this scene fucking matters to me. I put my life into this, my adult life, and to see it in this state is fucking sad."

I created this account on 2 June 2020 when I first thought about posting here and things improved somewhat, but have again declined big time, so here I am.
I am 37M, been married for nearly 2 years, 0 kids, 1 dog and we brought an apartment and renovated it last year, theres complications around the property type in terms of minimum length of ownership if I go down this path.
Basically since I got married, my wife has become more and more controlling. and sex has become less and less frequent, even after deciding we would try to have a kid, it was seldom and irregular. My wife has become more controlling, it started with little things like making excuses why she couldn't take the dog down to pee in the evening, refusing to consolidate bank accounts, and getting down right angry if i put any bills in my name and even when I took out a credit card in my name. On the money side of things I am much better with money than her, I have come from a reasonably low income situation to become comparatively very successful, where as she has never really learned the value of money, always paid things late and in some cases, not at all and expected a rebate on the penalties after she does finally pay it, while this all might sound very one sided, our individual credit ratings reflect this very clearly. I tried to fix this for her by taking over almost all payments, which I did well to some extent, there have been 2 instances in the past 3 years where I have missed a payment by a couple of days due to miscommunication and as a result, been charged a penalty, and she has flipped her shit at me over it. This is just the tip of the iceberg, but it gives an idea.
Any time we do get into an argument, she will use what I say against me, and insert subtext where there isn't any and generally manipulate the conversation in her favour, a large part of her job is business negation and she is quite good at it. This results in if I give a reason to support why something was done, she will extrapolate that reason, twist it and turn it into a reason why "she should suffer". In short, she is emotionally abusive. She will quickly go from what to a normal person would be a minor thing that doesn't really matter or can be excused as an accident to an abrasive "Why did you do that? Come on, think about it, why are you so stupid?" which then escalates to "well we should just get a divorce then" or "then i'll just kill myself". This last one is the crux of why I am still with her. She has done this for years, she threatens to kill herself or bangs her head on a wall or hits herself, I feel I have to stay to protect her, which, while doesn't deescalate the situation, does stop her from hurting herself more physically. I created this account last year after an incident where I had to call the police on her because she was trying to jump out the window of our then, 14th story rental. I could not control her and I was so broken myself I simply couldn't function. It has reached that point again yesterday, and came close 2 weeks ago where she actually pulled a kitchen knife on me.
Now it gets complicated, I am living in Singapore, I am from Australia, and have been here 3 years almost. I moved for her, to have a life with her. I gave up so much and gambled my career for her. I have very few friends, and no support network here at all. As we share an apartment which we own and only moved into 4 months ago, I have no where to go. The apartment is a good example of her getting her own way, there is virtually nothing in there that I chose, the lights, tiles, walls, foor, paints, everything she chose and wouldn't accept my suggestions on, with the exception of appliances because shes not very techy.
If she gets into one of her states and starts to hurt herself, if I don't protect her, then I feel I will be held accountable if the police get involved, to try to protect myself I have started to record on my phone our interactions, I know this will backfire on me, but I am in a lose lose situation.
Things really went bad at the end of 2018, when her dog, Prince, a Sheltie, was put up for boarding at a dog hotel called Platinum dogs club when we were visiting my family in Australia for Christmas. On the day before Christmas, we got notified that the facility was raided by the govt animal welfare group, the AVA at the time, and Prince was missing. We later found out that he was killed on the 23rd of December, 2018, 2 days after we dropped him off under their care. I know she still blames herself for his loss.
Some good came of this at least, it has spurred reform into animal welfare in Singapore and over all the incidents will have a great positive impact for the treatment and welfare of animals here, but this is just icing and not overly relevant to this discussion.
This got us involved in working with some rescue group in Singapore, where we had come across 2 border collie females, removed from puppy mills and horrible treatment/conditions. They were found to be pregnant when they came in, but due to being very malnourished, didn't show, but in the end each delivered 4 gorgeous pups each, 10 days apart. We ended up being given the pleasure to adopt one, which while I was reluctant at first to take on a new dog given my experience with having to fully take care of Prince alone, I wanted some reprieve, however with the loss of Prince, my wife was very depressed and it was one of the only things that brought her joy, so I gave in, and we adopted Seven who is almost 2 years old now and very happy and healthy. One of the considerations was that she promised she would feed him and walk him in the evenings and in the mornings if i had to leave for work early. None of these promises held true regularly. She likes the idea of having a dog, and manages an Instagram for him, she does love him, but she doesn't take good care of him. She uses the same excuses to not walk him, she doesn't feed him and when I am busy and forget to in the evening, yells at me for not feeding him until I do it (which is usually immediately), instead of feeding him herself, as to our original agreement.
This is what complicates things and where the account name comes from, if I leave, i'm taking the dog with me, I don't trust her to look after him properly. On the flip side, I know this will make her more depressed, so again i'm in a lose lose situation where if I take him and she does something drastic, its on my conscience, but if I leave him, and she neglects him, it's also going to weigh heavily on me. I don't know what to do here.
At the end of the day I've gone through this too many times, and I want out. I sold almost all my things before I moved here, I have not much left, so much so when I came here, everything I still owned fit into a 2 X 1.2m X 1m shipping crate. If I moved back, there would likely be much less. While I could stay in Singapore, due to the structure of our finances, I have no access to cash for a apartment lease, nor do i want to commit to more than a 2 month lease. I can't lease a room because of the dog as well. I do have a separate office room at home with a sofa bed which I will be sleeping on for the foreseeable future, but I simply don't want to be around her.
There are more problems, I will cover 2 final ones, the first being she projects - In that I mean, if she does something wrong or something is a problem to her, ie she feels she has eaten too much sugar, she outwardly projects that onto other people, and she will tell me i'm eating too much sugar and get angry at me, this also comes with money. I have explained this to her but she just gets angry and gives me a response along the lines of "Then how, i'll just work and spend nothing, is that what you want? I won't buy food and i'll starve and die" - This is a very very standard and common response from her.
The second is (you guessed it) money. Since I started dating her, before we were married, I wanted to upgrade my PC, it is now 11 years old, and I take a lot of enjoyment from gaming, I also do a lot of work and study with it. The first 2 years, we were both flying between Australia and Singapore regularly, it was costly and it was off the cards. We then agreed when I moved to Singapore that anything outside of our base salary we earned, was ours to spend on what ever we wanted, no questions asked. This means; Contracted bonuses, over time, 13th mon pay (this is a thing in Singapore for december), Ad-hoc bonuses, gifts etc. We agreed on this and she REALLY wanted a new mac, and to be fair, her pc was as old as mine but much lower spec, so I agreed that she would get it mid year, and a portion of her end of year bonus would go back into joint funds. This was fine. Since this agreement, I have earned somewhere in the range of 30 - 40k in bonuses and overtime, and not been able to spend a single cent on myself. Hell the last time I brought new clothes for myself was at our wedding and 8 months before that, outside of what was desperately needed (socks with holes in them and shoes where the tread was either coming off or worn to nothing). Our wages are fairly similar, but at the end of every month I have around $300 - 400 in my bank account after bills and loan repayments, and she usually has most of her pay, and again, she refused to consolidate accounts.
Emotionally for the past two weeks I have been hanging by a thread, I have kept my shit together for the most part, but I really struggle, and it has spilt over into work. I had a conversation with my boss this morning and outlined it all and he confessed he had seen a lot of it also. It seems I get the same consensus from everyone whom I speak with.
What I am seeking from this post is advise based on what some of you have gone through, what your close friends / family have gone through, what went right, what did not, what could have been done better and advise on how to protect myself from someone who will hurt themselves or potentially, try to take their own life. Furthermore, I wish her no ill will, I don't want to just abandon her and her do something stupid the moment I leave, this is my biggest fear, but I know I have to just walk away at some point and stop giving her the attention she is trying to get. If I get her friends involved then she will use that against me again. If I move out, I will seek one of her friends to take her to dinner or similar and clear my shit out, or is this a bad idea?
Legal wise, I realise this isn't a lawyers office and I don't expect anything binding here, but when should I engage one? how do I go about it? What should I expect to pay?
As much as I need my share of what is in our apartment, I do not care at this point about it. She can live in it for all I care and pay me back, or rent a room to pay me slowly or sell it when we can or even just keep it as a shared asset, I do not care.
While this is obviously one sided because it comes from just me, I will admit I am not perfect, and I do have a crappy memory, something she sometimes exploits. But I do most of the house work, I take good care of our dog, I do equal, if not more of the cooking, I take care of all the bills. I have learned to make bread and sour dough because she "wanted really nice bread". I have learned to cook french style fine dining meals for her. I heave learned Chinese style cooking for her. I ALWAYS help her in the kitchen when she cooks and set the table ready to eat, these things she has never once done for me, even when asked, she ignores the request. I clean up after her and I restrict my mess to my office. I compromise regularly and let her have her own way. I do what she wants to do for leisure and I don't pressure her to do what I want to do. I have even been studying psychology for the past 6 months to try to better handle her with little success. I have learned to never raise my voice (and obviously never raise a hand, I would never) to her, I have tried multiple techniques for calming her, but she goes against the common theories.
I don't know where to group this, but she has also been unwilling to attend any counselling or individual therapy, she sees it as a waste of money and doesn't see herself as having a problem.
I am her cleaner, her body guard her source of entertainment, her chef and her animal handler. I have very little of me left and its not a future I want.
My next steps (in no particular order) I feel should be:

• Seek legal advice
• Seek alternative temporary lodging
• Relocate items of value which are solely mine (such as my camera, PC and SCUBA gear) to somewhere I can access them more easily (such as my office)
• Have the dog vaccinated and blood work done for import into Australia
• Arrange flight and quarantine for the dog

(Closer to a move home)

• Arrange covid test
• Arrange flight
• Arrange international movers

I would really love some advise, mostly around next steps, how to protect myself, how to help her and keep her safe and how to end this cycle. Ideally I do not want to leave, but if I don't, my life will be miserable and I currently see no future with her. She regularly reminds me she doesn't want kids, which changed AFTER we got married, I feel I am being robbed of the chance to have a family.
​
Update: (Because thats what we need, a bigger wall of text) Yesterday when I was about to call a lawyer, I got a call from a social worker whom my wife had contacted, she told me that my wife had reached out after talking to her mother (something I would have done but I don't speak mandarin well and her mother doesn't speak much english). I was told that based on what my wife said, she was considered a suicide risk and they wanted her to go to IMH for assessment immediately, due to her work schedule she declined and committed to going Saturday, though I am not sure this will happen. My wifes sense of self worth is tied to how others see her, even strangers, this I feel is partly responsible for her depression, and the same reason she is delaying the visit and the reason she used a pseudonym.
To an extent, and knowing her, I feel this was in part, a power play to force me to come back home as the social worker asked I be around to keep an eye on her otherwise she would have to have the police do it, which, given what I said about her sense of self worth, would be a very very bad idea.
While I do give her credit, it doesn't change my feelings, I still want out, but I won't be telling her until this is resolved. I do fully understand that if she has her mind set on something I will be unlikely to change it, it still is my responsibility as her husband, a member of the community and a human in general. I will work with the psychiatrist or psychologist she is assigned once she is, and figure out the best, and safest way to tell her.

Im not sure where to start.
So i've only started having sex in the less than 12 months.
But i've been increasingly addicted to porn and masturbation since i was say 14 and started around 12. I'm in my mid 20s now. Last couple of years i've found my masturbation sessions can span 2 to to 3+ hours while rare. I still think i have some control but i do struggle going over a 2 weeks without masturbation or porn.
At one point though i had a bit of a crisis, i used to get so horny at the start of uni that in the first semester i used to go to the abandoned bathrooms later in the day/night to wank this happened less than a handful of times (like three times) then i did it like twice more in more in a holiday as i couldn't get a chance. After that I established that was it was getting bad and easily got myself to never do it. So this crisis was short lived.
I'm not too scared of this i think i can get it controlled although i recognise i have an addictive personality. I don't smoke, do drugs, drink or gamble but i've seen myself get addicted to less conventional things like fixation on food or exercise. And i have discovered that porn and masturbation is holding me back from having meaningful sex.
This the problem i'm actually worried about. I'm in my mid 20s i recently came into more money than i have as i've started getting better work. I had a bit of a mini scare and decided i really want to lose my virginity and want to date but do not want to date precisely for sex.
In Australia sex work is legal so i decided to sleep with an escort. Not long ago. She was beautiful, sweet and i learned what i love about sex is not really sex: chatting, what i can make her feel (oral, conversation). I find it hard to cum without a lot of masturbation so i couldn't cum in this first session. I tried on the same day with a much cheaper brothel girl and still couldn't cum and gave up, i was pretty happy and gave up on it for a long time as i wanted to lose weight and try to get myself to not wank or watch porn before my next session (didn't work out well, i haven't managed past 2 weeks of no masturbation)
A couple of months ago i decided to try again and i finally realised masturbation was key. Solo masturbation, pulling out to masturbate and then going back in and then pulling out. I was so satisfied and each time i've felt like i didn't really need to do more and each time i would book in a huge fixated tunnel visioned rush. That is why i'm starting to get worried.
In the space of two months i think i must have slept with 8 sex workers and 2 massage girls. All of which were in a big rush. It hasn't really been about sex most of the time either, i mostly got a rush just from chatting to the girls, my penis has trouble with sensitivity so i get a rush from everything surrounding sex like body slides, kissing and chatting. I found these experiences beautiful.
So far in the 12 months i've spent at least $4300 aud in sex work. It's not yet big enough to cause me huge problems but it's on the threshold and it's not just about money. I don't think i'm close to a rock bottom yet that i've had with other obsessions but i'm fairly close.
I think this is close enough that if i quit i would have had a pretty beautiful memory to look back on but if i fail to quit now the beautiful memory will be tainted by personal and/or financial destruction.
In the past the addictions that caused me problems and i've had to overcome the criteria were if i had a fixation on it that span hours at a time, if it causes physical harm over time, affected grades/work and had consequences to my life. So i used to be mad addicted to exercise and dieting, i was close to being underweight but was able to manage it so i wasn't. It really messed up my psyche and i lost maybe 1.5 to 2 years of progress but i eventually got over it. With this i can feel some fixation, but not yet withdrawal, i only gets this at the moment with porn and masturbation but the consequences to real life are getting close so now my idea is to talk about it and get it sorted out.
The solution i find is a couple of things.

• I need to get myself fit and even more financially independent so i can get confident enough to date.
• Or yeah just date in general, my discovery of my self is that i'm not really that hang up on sex actually i realise masturbation is already pretty great.
• If i can just spend 3 or 9 months away from sex work and ideally porn/masturbation it will be a lot easier.

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Team has been involved in a substantial number of the digital media, sports, entertainment, leisure and gaming industries’ most significant merger and acquisition transactions, holding key positions at, and transacting with Scientific Games Corp, Inspired Gaming Group, FOX Bets, Ocean Casino Resort, Resorts International Holdings, PokerStars, DraftKings, Mohegan Sun, Caesars Entertainment Corporation, Harrah’s Entertainment, Tropicana Entertainment, Inc., TSG/Sky Betting & Gaming, Facebook, Inc, Wynn Resorts, Dubai World/MGM Resorts
Here's all the Bios. These guys are stellar! TEKK closed at $10.30 today. Still cheap!
If you don't like to read... you don't like to make money!!!!
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Matthew Davey — Chief Executive Officer and Director
Mr. Davey has over 25 years of experience within the digital media, sports, entertainment, leisure and gaming ecosystems, as well as experience in the public sector. He is an experienced public company executive officer and board member. He has served in executive management positions across the gaming technology arena. Over the course of Mr. Davey’s career, he oversaw more than ten mergers and acquisitions and over $1.2 billion in debt and equity capital raised to support the companies he has led.
Most recently, Mr. Davey was Chief Executive Officer of SG Digital, the Digital Division of Scientific Games Corp. (“Scientific Games”) (Nasdaq: SGMS). SG Digital was established following the purchase by Scientific Games of NYX Gaming Group Limited (“NYX”) (formerly TSXV: NYX), where Mr. Davey served as Chief Executive Officer and Director. The NYX acquisition provided Scientific Games with a vehicle to significantly accelerate the scale and breadth of its existing digital gaming business, including the strategic expansion into sports betting. In his capacity as Chief Executive Officer of NYX, Mr. Davey developed and implemented a corporate strategy that generated strong revenue growth. Mr. Davey shaped company strategy to focus on digital gaming supplier platforms and content that provided various gaming operators with the underlying gaming and sports betting systems for their online gaming business. In 2014, Mr. Davey oversaw the initial public offering of NYX, and his experience in the digital media, sports, entertainment, leisure and gaming industries helped NYX recognize momentum as a public company. After the public offering, from 2014 to 2018, Mr. Davey oversaw seven acquisitions which helped establish NYX as one of the fastest growing global B2B real-money digital gaming and sports betting platforms. These acquisitions included:
• OpenBet: In 2016, NYX completed the $385 million acquisition of OpenBet. This was one of the more complex and transformative acquisitions that Mr. Davey oversaw at NYX. Through securing co-investments from William Hill (LSE: WMH), Sky Betting & Gaming and The Stars Group (formerly Nasdaq: TSG, TSX: TSGI), Mr. Davey was able to get the acquisition from Vitruvian Partners completed successfully, winning the deal against much larger and well capitalized competitors. By combining two established and proven B2B betting and gaming suppliers, NYX was well positioned to provide customers with exciting player-driven solutions across all major product verticals and distribution channels. This allowed NYX to become the leading B2B omni-channel sportsbook platform in the market and the supplier to over 300 gaming operators globally with an extensive library of desktop and mobile game titles, including more than 700 on NYX platforms and more than 2,000 on the OpenBet platform.
• Cryptologic/Chartwell: In 2015, NYX completed the $119 million acquisition of Cryptologic and Chartwell. The acquisition provided NYX with more than 400 titles of additional leading gaming content, a broader customer base, and direct exposure to PokerStars and Intercasino, part of the Gamesys Group (LSE: GYS) — two of the world’s largest online casino offerings.
• OnGame: In 2014, NYX completed the distressed acquisition of OnGame, a premier poker content, platform and service provider. This acquisition provided NYX with one of the best poker products in the industry, access to several regulated jurisdictions, and a valuable talent pool that was instrumental in the growth of NYX. The addition of OnGame further established a path for NYX to continue its growth in both European and U.S. markets.
These acquisitions, together with meaningful organic growth, increased NYX’s revenue from $24 million in 2014 to $184 million annualized in 2017. During that time, Mr. Davey helped build NYX to have over 200 customers in the global gaming industry and a team of 1,000 employees. Mr. Davey’s success at NYX ultimately led to its sale to Scientific Games for $631 million in 2018.
Mr. Davey joined Next Gen Gaming, the predecessor to NYX, in 2000 as the Vice President of Technology, was appointed as Executive Director in 2003 and named Chief Executive Officer in 2005. Prior to that, he was the Senior Consultant for Access Systems, a company that specializes in the provision of back-end software for licensed online casinos. Prior to joining Access, Mr. Davey worked for the Northern Territory Government specializing in matters pertaining to the internet and e-commerce along with roles in the Department of Racing and Gaming. Mr. Davey received a Bachelor of Electrical & Electronic Engineering from Northern Territory University, Australia (also known as Charles Darwin University).
Robin Chhabra — President
Mr. Chhabra has been at the forefront of corporate acquisition activity within the digital gaming landscape for over a decade. His prior experience includes leading corporate strategy, M&A, and business development at two of the global leaders in the digital gaming industry, The Stars Group (“TSG”) and William Hill, and a leading supplier, Inspired Gaming Group (Nasdaq: INSE). Mr. Chhabra served on the Group Executive Committees of each of these companies. From 2017 to May 2020, Mr. Chhabra served as Chief Corporate Development Officer at TSG and, from 2019 to August 2020, he also served as the Chief Executive Officer of Fox Bet, a leading U.S. online gaming business which is the product of a landmark partnership between TSG and FOX Sports, a transaction which he led. During that period, Mr. Chhabra led several transactions which transformed TSG into the largest publicly listed online gambling operator in the world by both revenue and market capitalization and one of the most diversified from a product and geographic perspective with revenues of over $2.5 billion. Mr. Chhabra’s M&A experience is extensive and covers multiple global geographies across the digital gaming value chain and includes the following:
• TSG/Flutter Entertainment Merger: In 2019, Mr. Chhabra led the TSG M&A team that was responsible for TSG’s $12.2 billion merger with Flutter Entertainment (LSE: FLTR). The merger between TSG and Flutter Entertainment is the largest transaction in the digital gaming industry to date. The combination created the largest publicly listed online gaming company with approximately 13 million active customers and leading product offerings, which include sports betting, online casino, fantasy sports and poker. The combined entity includes some of the world’s most iconic digital gaming brands such as Fanduel, Fox Bet, Sky Bet, PaddyPower, Betfair, PokerStars and SportsBet. TSG/Flutter Entertainment is one of the most geographically diverse digital gaming and media companies with leading positions in the United States, United Kingdom, Australia, Ireland, Italy, Spain, Germany and Georgia.
• TSG/Sky Betting and Gaming (“SBG”): In 2018, Mr. Chhabra led the acquisition of SBG from CVC Capital Partners and Sky plc, Europe’s largest media company, in a transaction valued at $4.7 billion. At the time of the acquisition SBG was the largest mobile gambling operator in the United Kingdom and one of the fastest growing of the major operators having doubled its online market share in three years. The acquisition of SBG provided TSG with (a) greater revenue diversification, significantly enhanced expertise and exposure to sports betting just ahead of the judicial overturn of The Professional and Amateur Sports Protection Act of 1992 (PASPA) by the U.S. Supreme Court, (b) a leading position within the United Kingdom, the world’s largest regulated online gaming market, (c) improved products and technology as a result of the addition of SBG’s innovative casino and sports book offerings and a portfolio of popular mobile apps, and (d) expertise in deeply integrating sports betting with leading sports media companies, positioning TSG to create more engaging content, deliver faster growth and decrease customer acquisition costs.
• William Hill (LSE: WMH): At William Hill, from 2010 to 2017, Mr. Chhabra served as Group Director of Strategy and Corporate Development where he led several transactions which contributed to William Hill’s transformation from a land-based gambling operator in the United Kingdom to a leading online-led international business. Mr. Chhabra led William Hill’s entry into the U.S. sports betting and online lottery markets with the acquisition of four businesses, including the simultaneous acquisitions of three U.S. sportsbooks, Cal Neva, American Wagering and Brandywine Bookmaking, in 2011 for an aggregate purchase price of $55 million. These businesses ultimately led William Hill to achieve a leading position in the U.S. sports betting market with a market share of 24% in 2019. Additionally, Mr. Chhabra played a key role in structuring William Hill’s successful joint venture with PlayTech Plc (LSE: PTEC) in 2008. The combined entity created one of the largest online gambling businesses in Europe at the time of its formation and led to William Hill’s buyout of Playtech’s interest for $637 million in 2013. Prior to the transaction, William Hill had struggled in its attempt to establish a strong online gaming platform and a meaningful presence outside the United Kingdom.
Mr. Chhabra has also successfully completed four transactions worth over $1.2 billion in Australia, the world’s second largest regulated online gambling market, and various partnerships in Asia. Additionally, he completed several technology and media related transactions, including William Hill’s investment in NYX, where he worked with Mr. Davey on NYX’s transformational acquisition of OpenBet.
Prior to working in the gaming sector, Mr. Chhabra was an equities analyst and a management consultant. Mr. Chhabra received a Bachelor of Science in Economics from the London School of Economics and Political Science.
Eric Matejevich — Chief Financial Officer
Mr. Matejevich is a seasoned gaming executive with extensive experience in both the online gaming and traditional casino industries. From February to August 2019, he served as Trustee and Interim-Chief Executive Officer of Ocean Casino Resort (“Ocean”) (formerly Revel Casino, which had a construction cost of $2.4 billion) in Atlantic City, where he successfully led the management team through an ownership change and operational turnaround effort. Over the course of seven months, Mr. Matejevich managed to reduce the property’s weekly cash burn of $1.5 million to an annualized cash flow run rate in excess of $20 million.
Prior to Ocean, from 2016 to 2018, Mr. Matejevich served as the Chief Financial Officer of NYX. At NYX, he focused his efforts on integrating the company’s many acquisitions and multiple debt refinancings to simplify its capital structure and provided liquidity for growth initiatives. Additionally, Mr. Matejevich was instrumental to the executive team that sold NYX to Scientific Games for $631 million.
Prior to NYX, from 2004 to 2014, Mr. Matejevich was the Chief Financial Officer of Resorts International Holdings and later, from 2011, also the Chief Operating Officer of the Atlantic Club Casino, a property under the Resorts International Holdings umbrella — a Colony Capital (NYSE: CLNY) entity. As Chief Financial Officer, he provided managerial oversight for all finance functions for a six-property casino company with annual gaming revenue exceeding $1.3 billion, 10,000 gaming positions, 7,000 hotel rooms and over 11,000 staff members during his tenure. Mr. Matejevich led the transition effort to integrate a four-casino, $1.3 billion acquisition from Harrah’s Entertainment and Caesars Entertainment (Nasdaq: CZR). As Chief Operating Officer of Atlantic Club, he lobbied for and was successful in obtaining the first internet gaming legislation passed in the United States. The Atlantic Club was the sole New Jersey casino proponent of the legislation.
Prior to serving in various gaming positions, Mr. Matejevich was a Vice President of High Yield Research for Merrill Lynch, where he managed the corporate bond research effort for the gaming and leisure sectors and marketed high yield and other debt transactions totaling $4.8 billion. Mr. Matejevich received a Bachelor of Science in Economics from The Wharton School and a Bachelor of Arts in International Relations from The College of Arts and Sciences at the University of Pennsylvania.
Our Board of Directors
Morris Bailey — Chairman
Over the past 10 years, Mr. Bailey has been a leader in turning around Atlantic City, as well as being among the first gaming executives to embrace online gaming and sports betting in the United States. In his efforts, Mr. Bailey partnered with two of the largest digital gaming companies in the world, PokerStars, part of the Stars Group, and DraftKings (Nasdaq: DKNG). In 2010, Mr. Bailey bought Resorts Atlantic City (“Resorts”) and initiated a comprehensive renovation which allowed for the property to be rebranded and repositioned. In 2012, Mr. Bailey signed an agreement with Mohegan Sun to manage the day-to-day operations of the casino. In addition to Mohegan Sun’s operational expertise and ability to reduce costs via economies of scale, Resorts gained access to their robust customer database. Soon thereafter, Mr. Bailey and his team focused on bringing online gaming to the property. In 2015, Resorts established a platform to engage in online gaming by partnering with PokerStars, now part of the $24 billion Flutter Entertainment, PLC (LSE: FLTR), to operate an online poker room in Atlantic City. In 2018, Resorts announced deals with DraftKings and SBTech to open a sportsbook on-property and online. For 2020 year-to-date, Resorts has performed in the top quartile in internet gross gaming revenue in New Jersey. Mr. Bailey’s efforts in New Jersey helped set the framework for expansion of online sports and gaming throughout the United States.
In addition to his gaming interests, Mr. Bailey has over 50 years of experience in all facets of real estate development, asset M&A, capital markets and operations and is the founder, Chief Executive Officer and Principal of JEMB Realty, a leading real estate development, investment and management organization. Mr. Bailey has notable investment experience within the energy, finance and telecommunications sectors through investments in the Astoria Energy Plant, Basis Investment Group and Xentris Wireless.
Tony Rodio — Director Nominee
Mr. Rodio has nearly four decades of experience in the gaming industry. Most recently, Mr. Rodio served as the Chief Executive Officer and director of Caesars Entertainment Corporation (“Caesars”) (Nasdaq: CZR), one of the world’s most diversified casino-entertainment providers and the most geographically diverse U.S. casino-entertainment company, from April 2019 until its acquisition by Eldorado Resorts, Inc. in July 2020. Mr. Rodio led Caesars through its $17.3 billion merger with Eldorado Resorts, one of the largest transactions in the gaming industry to date. Additionally, Mr. Rodio was instrumental to Caesars’ expansion into the digital gaming industry and oversaw the implementation of new digital segments such as its Scientific Games powered retail sportsbook solution that now operates in various states throughout the U.S. From October 2018 to May 2019, Mr. Rodio served as Chief Executive Officer of Affinity Gaming. Prior to Affinity Gaming, he served as President, Chief Executive Officer and a director of Tropicana Entertainment, Inc. (“Tropicana”) for over seven years, where he was responsible for the operation of eight casino properties in seven different jurisdictions. During his time at Tropicana, Mr. Rodio oversaw a period of unprecedented growth at the company, improving overall financial results with net revenue that increased more than 50% driven by both operational improvements and expansion across regional markets. Mr. Rodio led major capital projects, including the complete renovation of Tropicana Atlantic City and Tropicana’s move to land-based operations in Evansville, Indiana. Each of these initiatives, among others, generated substantial value for Tropicana. Ultimately, Mr. Rodio’s efforts at Tropicana led to its sale to Eldorado Resorts in 2018 for $1.85 billion. Prior to Tropicana, Mr. Rodio held a succession of executive positions in Atlantic City for casino brands, including Trump Marina Hotel Casino, Harrah’s Entertainment (predecessor to Caesars), the Atlantic City Hilton Casino Resort and Penn National Gaming. He has also served as a director of several professional and charitable organizations, including Atlantic City Alliance, United Way of Atlantic County, the Casino Associations of New Jersey and Indiana, AtlantiCare Charitable Foundation and the Lloyd D. Levenson Institute of Gaming Hospitality & Tourism. Mr. Rodio brings extensive knowledge of and experience in the gaming industry, operational expertise, and a demonstrated ability to effectively design and implement company strategy. Mr. Rodio received a Bachelor of Science from Rider University and a Master of Business Administration from Monmouth University.
Marlon Goldstein — Director Nominee
Mr. Goldstein is a licensed attorney with nearly 20 years of experience in the gaming space. He joined The Stars Group (Nasdaq: TSG)(TSX: TSGI) in January 2014 as its Executive Vice-President, Chief Legal Officer and Secretary until his retirement from the company in July 2020 following the merger of TSG with Flutter Entertainment, PLC (LSE: FLTR). Mr. Goldstein also previously served as the Executive Vice-President, Corporate Development and General Counsel of TSG. Mr. Goldstein was also the senior TSG executive based in the United States and was one of the primary architects of TSG’s strategic vision for its U.S.-facing business. During his tenure, TSG grew from an approximately $500 million market-cap company to an approximately $7 billion market-cap company through a combination of organic growth and strategic mergers and acquisitions. Mr. Goldstein participated in numerous M&A transactions and capital markets offerings at TSG, including several transformational transactions in the digital gaming industry. Notable transactions in which Mr. Goldstein was involved include:
• TSG/Flutter Merger: In 2019, TSG merged with Flutter for a $12.2 billion transaction value, the largest transaction in the digital gaming industry to date.
• TSG/Fox Bet Partnership: In 2019, TSG entered into a partnership with FOX Sports to create FOX Bet in the U.S., a leading U.S. online gaming business. Wall Street Research estimates an approximate $1.1 billion valuation for Fox Bet post-partnership with The Stars Group.
• TSG/Sky Betting & Gaming: In 2018, TSG acquired Sky Betting & Gaming, the largest mobile gambling operator in the United Kingdom at the time, for $4.7 billion.
• TSG/CrownBet and William Hill: In 2018, TSG simultaneously acquired CrownBet and William Hill, two Australian operators, for a total of $621 million in a multi-part transaction.
• TSG/PokerStars and Full Tilt Poker: In 2014, TSG acquired The Rational Group, which operated PokerStars and Full Tilt and was the world’s largest poker business, for $4.9 billion.
Through his ability to legally structure large and complex transactions, Mr. Goldstein was integral to TSG’s vision of becoming a full-service online gaming company. Additionally, he assisted in structuring TSG’s capital markets activity, which generated liquidity for acquisitions and strengthened its balance sheet.
Prior to joining TSG, Mr. Goldstein was a principal shareholder in the corporate and securities practice at the international law firm of Greenberg Traurig P.A., where he practiced for almost 13 years. Mr. Goldstein’s practice focused on corporate and securities matters, including mergers and acquisitions, securities offerings, and financing transactions. Additionally, Mr. Goldstein was the founder and co-chair of the firm’s Gaming Practice, a multi-disciplinary team of attorneys representing owners, operators and developers of gaming facilities, manufacturers and suppliers of gaming devices, investment banks and lenders in financing transactions, and Indian tribes in the development and financing of gaming facilities.
Mr. Goldstein brings experience and insight that we believe will be valuable to a potential initial business combination target business. Mr. Goldstein received a Bachelor of Business Administration with a concentration in accounting from Emory University and a Juris Doctorate with highest honors from the University of Florida, College of Law.
Sean Ryan — Director Nominee
Mr. Ryan is a digital media and technology operator with extensive global experience in online payments, e-commerce, marketplaces, mobile ad networks, digital games, enterprise collaboration platforms, blockchain, real money gaming and online music. Since 2014, Mr. Ryan has been serving as Vice President of Business Platform Partnerships at Facebook, Inc. (“Facebook”) (Nasdaq: FB), where he leads a more than 500 person global organization that manages the Payments, Commerce, Novi/Blockhain, Workplace and Audience Network businesses. Prior to his current role, Mr. Ryan was hired in 2011 as the Director of Games Partnerships to lead and grow the global Games business at Facebook. While the Director of Games Partnerships, Mr. Ryan focused on re-shaping Facebook’s games and monetization strategies to derive more value for Facebook, its users and its partners, including the addition of a Real Money Gaming offering in regulated markets. Mr. Ryan’s team helped accelerate a major trend in engagement through cross-platform games and therefore the opportunity to increase users through establishing games on multiple platforms. Prior to joining Facebook, Mr. Ryan created the new social and mobile games division at News Corp, an American multinational mass media corporation controlled by Rupert Murdoch. While at News Corp, Mr. Ryan led the acquisition of Making Fun, a San Francisco social-game start-up, that created News Corp’s games publishing division.
Before joining News Corp., Mr. Ryan founded multiple digital businesses such as Twofish, Meez, Open Wager and SingShot Media. Mr. Ryan co-founded Twofish in 2009, a virtual goods and services platform that provided developers with data analytics and insights for individual application’s digital economies. Twofish was later sold to online payments provider Live Gamer, where Mr. Ryan served on the board of directors. From 2005 to 2008, Mr. Ryan founded and led Meez.com, a social entertainment service combining avatars, web games and virtual worlds. The white label social casino gaming company Open Wager was spun out of Meez and was later sold to VGW Holdings, Mr. Ryan also co-founded SingShot Media, an online karaoke community, which was sold to Electronic Arts (Nasdaq: EA) and merged into its Sims division.
We believe Mr. Ryan’s experience will be valuable to a potential initial business combination target and would provide an expanded perspective on the digital gaming landscape. Mr. Ryan received a Bachelor of Arts from Columbia University and a Master of Business Administration from the University of California, Los Angeles.
Tom Roche — Director Nominee
Mr. Roche has more than 40 years of experience in the gaming industry as a regulator, advisor and independent auditor. Mr. Roche joined Ernst & Young (“EY”) as a partner in 2003 and opened its Las Vegas office. He was subsequently appointed as the Office Managing Partner and Global Gaming Industry Market Leader. In 2016, Mr. Roche relocated to the EY Hong Kong office to supervise the expansion of the EY Global Gaming Industry practice in the Asia Pacific region. Mr. Roche has been integral to numerous transactions that have shaped the current gaming landscape, including:
• Wynn Resorts (Nasdaq: WYNN) initial public offering: Mr. Roche was the lead partner on Wynn Resort’s initial public offering, which raised $450 million in 2002.
• Harrah’s Entertainment/Apollo Management Group & Texas Pacific Group: Mr. Roche headed the regulatory advisory services on the buyout of Harrah’s Entertainment, the world’s largest casino company at the time, for $17.1 billion.
• Dubai World/MGM Resorts: Mr. Roche headed the regulatory and due diligence advisory services to Dubai World in its approximately $5.1 billion investment in MGM. Dubai World bought 28.4 million MGM shares, or 9.5 percent of the casino operator, for $2.4 billion. It then invested $2.7 billion to acquire a 50% stake in MGM’s CityCenter Project, a $7.4 billion 76-acre Las Vegas development of hotels, condos and retail outlets.
• MGM Growth Properties (NYSE: MGP) initial public offering: Mr. Roche provided tax and structural transaction services to MGM Resorts in the creation of MGM Growth Properties, a publicly traded REIT engaged in the acquisition, ownership and leasing of large-scale destination entertainment and leisure resorts. MGM Growth Properties raised $1.05 billion in its 2016 initial public offering.
Mr. Roche also directed EY advisory services to boards and management teams for profit improvement and technology related initiatives. In addition, Mr. Roche provided advisory support to the American Gaming Association on several research projects, including those specifically related to sports betting, the revocation of The Professional and Amateur Sports Protection Act of 1992 (PASPA) and anti-money laundering best practices in the gaming industry. Equally, he has assisted government agencies in numerous international locations with enhancing their regulatory approach to governing the industry especially in the online gambling sector.
Prior to joining Ernst & Young, Mr. Roche served as Deloitte’s National Gaming Industry Leader and as the co-head of Andersen’s Gaming Industry Practice in Las Vegas. In 1989, Mr. Roche was appointed by then Governor of the State of Nevada, Robert Miller, to serve as one of three members of the Nevada State Gaming Control Board for a four-year term, where he was directly responsible for the Audit and New Games Lab Divisions. As a board member, he spent a substantial amount of time assisting global jurisdiction regulators enact gaming legislation in the design of their regulatory structure. During his career, Roche has been involved in numerous public and private offerings of equity and debt securities. His background includes providing casino regulatory consulting services to casino licensees and to federal and state agencies including the National Indian Gaming Commission and the Nevada State Gaming Control Board, and industry associations such as the Nevada Resort Association and the American Gaming Association.
We believe Mr. Roche’s highly regarded reputation as a gaming auditor and advisor in the gaming industry will be valuable for us and a potential business combination target. Mr. Roche is a member of the American Institute of Certified Public Accountants and is licensed by the Nevada State Board of Accountancy and Mississippi State Board of Public Accountancy. He received his Bachelor of Science degree in Accounting from the University of Southern California.

Luckbox CEO Says Move is "Significant Boost" for the Betting Sector
Real Luck Group Ltd. (TSXV: LUCK) (the "Company") and its subsidiary companies doing business as "Luckbox" (the "Group"), a provider of legal, real money esports betting, has welcomed the news that gambling apps will be available for download in the Google Play Store in 15 countries.
Google's updated policy, which can be found at https://support.google.com/googleplay/android-developeanswe10318510, states that starting March 1, 2021, gambling apps will be available for download on Android devices in the U.S., Australia, Belgium, Canada, Colombia, Denmark, Finland, Germany, Japan, Mexico, New Zealand, Norway, Romania, Spain, and Sweden. This expands the geographical reach of Google Play Store gambling apps beyond Brazil, France, Ireland, and the United Kingdom, countries where in-app gambling is already available through the Google Play Store.
Quentin Martin, Real Luck Group Ltd. CEO, said: "Google's addition of 15 nations (for a total of 19) that can now download gambling apps is a significant boost for the igaming sector. As an operator offering wagering on esports and sports via our Luckbox platform, this is a positive catalyst for the mobile betting sector, as it facilitates further player uptake in a responsible manner and signals the widening global acceptance of gaming."
According to the European Gaming & Betting Association, mobile betting was expected to account for 45.6% of online gambling revenue in 2020 and to reach 50.8% by 2022, surpassing the use of desktop for the first time. This trend is expected to continue, with mobile betting projected to reach a 58.2% share in 2025. Luckbox is a bespoke platform built to be mobile friendly with about 50% of our traffic coming via mobile users. The addition of a mobile app allows operators an improved connection with customers, such as real-time notifications, deeper integration with devices and additional security features.
Disclaimer: this is not investment advice, please do your own research!

So this is essentially an update from a previous issue from last quarter. My partner and I moved into a 3 bed/2 bath apartment in early May in the New Port/Semaphore area in South Australia. We received our first electricity bill in August stating that we owed $1,596 for 4,298 kWh usage. The average displayed on our bill is that most households in our range should be around 1,500~ kWh so naturally we were incredibly confused. We contacted the electric company (Simply Energy) and they looked into it for 10 days, then stated the numbers were correct. We spoke with our property agent at this point and requested an electrician to come out and inspect the property for faults. The electrician found a fault with the isolator for the hot water heater where it was constantly attempting to heat the water day and night, stating this was the cause of the abnormal amount of usage. The electrician advised the property manager of this and she stated, in writing via email, that this was no fault of ours and there was no way we would have known. She then told us to see if the energy company would reimburse us.
I thought this made no sense as the charges were for a valid service, the property fault was the issue. We humoured her and enquired with the electricity company and they essentially stated the same. We then spoke with her again, stating it is a fault on the property and not something the electricity company would be liable for. She advised she would speak with Strata and see if this is covered under insurance. She came back a week or so later after we had to email her for an update and advised that it was not covered, so the landlord had offered us one week of rent off ($380), plus $100, so $480 off. We advised that even then, we would still be left paying $1100~ which, for a two person household where we are both gone from about 9am-7pm throughout the week, seems absurdly high.
It has now been about 3 months and we have had to message the property manager about 6~ times asking for an update. She either flat out doesn't respond to us and when she does, she tells us that she hasn't been able to speak with the landlord. She's advised she is unable to offer anything without his approval, which we understand, but the landlord magically disappearing for three straight months is completely unacceptable to us.
We advised at this time we would have to look into taking the matter to SACAT if the landlord refuses to speak with us on the matter, to which she basically replied with "okay".
We've just recently received our bill for this quarter which is $1,178.40 and we have supposedly used 3,180.00 kWh. This is once again double what we expected.
As far as our usage goes, as stated above, we are two people who work away from home from 9am-7pm. When we are home, we don't appear to be doing anything particularly abnormal to the average person. We cook dinner, we watch tv or hang out on our computers and sometimes we have the AC on for 30 minutes or so if the house is particularly warm. We have a pedestal fan running at night, and the only other appliance that runs consistently is a dehumidifier in the bathroom because there is a moisture issue that Strata reviewed and proceeded to do nothing about even after acknowledging it is a problem, but that's another issue for another time. (If this was the issue, I would expect compensation still as we only have it due to the property issues that they didn't fix.)
We don't know what to do. We have asked everyone we know and people have told us that in a household with 4+ people constantly running stuff, WFH, etc they wouldn't go higher than $1000 with the average being $400-600.
We can't check our actual usage because we don't have a smart meter and wouldn't even be able to get one without the landlord's approval I believe, so we are basically just stuck with abnormally large bills and no way to actually see what the issue is.
We paid the first bill because we are obviously financially obligated to and it's not the energy company's fault if the energy is genuinely being used, but so far nothing else has been done. We'll pay this bill as well to avoid any legal issues, but what are our options?
We would really like to move somewhere else but that would result in breaking lease. The problem is the apartment isn't 'unstable' in regards to our safety, but having a gamble that we're going to have to pay an average $600 more every quarter with no explanation, a property manager that actively ghosts us, and a landlord that flat out will not speak to us seems like it's crossing into the territory of viable to leave.

This is a long one.
It’s been 7 years, nearly 8, since I was raped at work. While there are quite a few people (now) who know parts of the story, nobody knows it all. I feel as though it’s eating me alive but nobody sees it. I wouldn’t want them to. But some days I feel like I’m on autopilot, I smile, I laugh, I fake my way through things. But this feeling just won’t go away. I’m not sure if I’m looking for advice or what, but I feel like I need to unburden myself, akin to confessing my sins, although I am not religious, in the hopes that it will give me a sense of a step towards healing. Keeping it inside hasn’t helped so far. With that in mind, I’ll tell you my story.
I was 25, working at a massage parlour. Yes, one of those dodgy ‘happy ending’ joints. Extended unemployment had me leaning on my partner for far too long and I was tired of not pulling my weight. I actually found the place to be one of the better jobs I’ve had in my life in terms of becoming close friends with co-workers, many of whom shared a different version of my own difficult backstory. It was also one of only two jobs where I wasn’t fired after having one of my epileptic seizures at work (had lost 3 other jobs this way up to that point). I couldn’t believe it, but I actually felt at home there, it was owned and operated by women, and I was aware that they were exploiting us all, but was able to pay my rent and make more money doing less hours which was helpful given I have bipolar disorder as well as my epilepsy, and medication and specialists are not cheap.
It wasn’t unusual for a client to ask for ‘extras’ (other sexual services besides the standard hand job) but there were other girls there who did that so I didn’t feel I needed to be one of them. It wasn’t required, but the owners would look the other way if the girls wanted to make extra ‘tips’ and if anyone requested these services, I would recommend another girl who did, and had similar looks to mine, there were a couple of them.
The day he came in was like any other, I overheard the phone call when the booking was made, the client arrived on time and requested intros. (Some would book with a girl, others would have a 1 min ‘introduction’ with all the girls in shift and make a selection.) I remember returning to the ‘lounge’ (our staff area where we hung out, chatted, some girls would bring a laptop and do homework as quite a few were students) thinking there was no way I’d get the booking as Amy* (name changed) often got clients who had been intro’d to both of us (she looked like me, but tanned, leaner, just overall hotter than me). Not to mention when I leaned over to shake his hand my stilletto slipped from underneath me and I kind of stumbled and made an idiot of myself. I had no sooner settled in on the couch when the receptionist came back and said ‘Lila* (not my real name or pseudo), you’re up’. On my way out of the room, Amy, stretched out on the couch said ‘I’ve had him before’ in a way that seemed like she wasn’t happy about it. I figured she wasn’t happy about me getting the cash and not her. (Note: she was not one of the girls I had a close friendship with, we weren’t enemies, but we weren’t buddies either.)
The booking was for half an hour. He never asked about ‘extras’ and I feel now like I should have seen it coming. I wonder if he never asked because he wanted to be rejected, maybe that was part of the whole ‘game’. He stood close to me, leaned back, looked me up and down and put one hand on my waist to pull me in towards him. He said something to the effect of ‘you’re so sexy’ but I can’t remember precisely what. I put a hand on each of his shoulders and gently pushed him away while simultaneously stepping back and saying ‘Let’s get you on the table’.
The service I provided was a topless full body massage with a ‘body slide’ (sliding breasts over the client’s back, just the once) and ‘hand relief’ (hand job to finish the booking). He laid on the table facing up (I had never seen a client who didn’t lay face down first, which made sense as I would massage their back, then front before the ‘hand relief’. I feel like I should have picked up on that too as a red flag but at the time I thought he just wanted his ‘front’ massaged, or to look at me for the whole time.
I should mention at this point that we had the right to terminate any booking at our own discretion at any point without refund or question. Mind you, the house keeps the money in these cases. Clients can get overexcited so I worked on a ‘3 strike’ warning system. Less than five minutes into the massage he made a comment about my breasts and grabbed one of them. I pulled his hand away and said ‘We’re not that kind of place’ (clients were not allowed to touch us) and explained my 3-strike policy, finishing with ‘and that’s your first strike there’. It wasn’t long after that when he did it again, except instead of just reaching over, he propped himself up on the elbow closest to me, reached across and grabbed my breast firmly. I told him again: ‘We don’t do that here, that’s strike 2. One more strike and you’re out the door.’ (You still have to maintain the professional stance of not being repulsed by someone, so I did say it nicely, but nobody had ever had more than one strike from me before.)
I turned and took a step away from the table to where the massage oil was kept, it was momentary but when I turned back, he was standing up. He was taller than me in my heels (I’m 6 feet in 5 1/4 inch heels) and I gently encouraged him to lie down on the table, patting it with my hand. He put both hands on the table, one either side of me, and told me to turn around. That’s when my mind started to race.
He took both his hands off the table and slid them down my sides. It felt horrible but I saw a chance and turned around to face him in the hopes of slipping through the gap between him and the table and creating some distance between us to kick him out without being in arm’s reach. I wasn’t even halfway through turning around when he grabbed my right wrist with his right hand and pulled it. My arm slammed onto the table and he held it there. It felt like a microsecond between that and his left arm crushing down on my back, pinning me to the table, right arm useless, legs between his and him pressing me onto the table from behind, effectively disabling my legs as well. It happened in the blink of an eye. I knew what was about to happen and I knew that he had done this before. His attack had been too swift for someone who hadn’t had some practise. My left arm was hanging loose by my side and no help to me. And he knew it, so he didn’t bother to restrain it.
He pushed on the back of my knees with his leg and they buckled even further from under me, then used his knees to push my legs apart, which were now like jelly and shaking just a bit. He pushed my underwear to the side (I worked in underwear and heels) and then it started. He rubbed his penis between my labia and pushed it against me roughly. Then he inserted it and got really rough. I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of crying, I just stared at the wall and waited for it to be over. I tried to just ‘be somewhere else’ and he must have felt me ‘give up’ and relax my body. I thought if I tried to focus on relaxing my body it might hurt less. That’s when his left arm lifted off my back.
He forced his left hand underneath my left arm and wrapped it around my throat. He started squeezing. I felt it get tighter and with my worst fear being a seizure (that would render me unconscious) I decided to speak before I was unable to do so with the grip he had on my throat. I had to think fast and it went something like this ‘Rapists want their victims to suffer, they want them to hurt. The last thing he wants is for me to be enjoying this, it completely negates the attack’ so I turned my head as far as I could and as suggestively as I could muster asked ‘so you enjoy this too, huh?’ trying to imply that I was enjoying it. He instantly let go of my throat and raped me as forcefully as he could until he pulled out of me and ejaculated on the towel covering the bed.
He walked over to the couch where his clothes were and began to dress himself. I was paralysed and stayed leaning over the table like I was superglued there. It felt like I was. I had no idea what to do next. Or what he would do next, so I was too scared to move. I thought he would pin me down again if I tried to stand up. When I willed myself to stand up, he was fully dressed and holding everything he came with, ready to leave. I said ‘Well, I guess I’ll walk you out then’ but it sounded like somebody else saying it. It felt foggy, walking him to the door, resetting the room, the whole place looked different somehow. I went to the bathroom in a daze and once I was in the shower, had the most intense silent crying episode of my life. But I knew I couldn’t hide in there forever. I cleaned myself up, pulled it together and returned to the lounge. Amy looked at me, and I looked at her. Neither of us said a word. I always wondered if it had happened to her, too. I still do. I finished my shift and pretended nothing had happened. That was all foggy too. Just.. strange.
I was pretty darn sure my job wasn’t legal (despite the owner’s explanation to the contrary) and was terrified about going to the police. I figured at best they wouldn’t believe me, at worst, I’d be the one in trouble. On top of that, I had no information about who he was and it all just seemed too daunting. I worked hard to erase it from my mind, but was unable to have sex with my partner of 5 years. He didn’t know that was my ‘new job’ (I was tired of him being responsible for my bills) and I couldn’t bear to tell him anything. I shut down, not just sexually, but emotionally, and thanks to my emotional shutdown was able to ‘zombie’ my way through several more months working that job. He found out I was working there and promptly instructed me to move out. I was shattered, but relieved I would never have to tell him what happened that day.
There was a magazine circulated on a regular basis by a group that deals with sex workers (they provided free condoms and information regarding where STI testing was available, consulted with the various establishments providing any ‘sex worker’ services and notified these establishments of ‘troublemakers’). Several weeks after I was attacked, I walked into work and saw the latest issue pinned to the notice board. I had never seen one of these with anything but their logo on the front. But this one was different.
My heart stopped. The front cover was him. His photo. ‘Beware: This man has recently been paroled from serving a sentence for violent rape. Repeat offender. If you see him, contact police’ It listed his name, his phone number, his last known address, and the 11 different aliases he was known to use. One of these was the same name I’d found unusual at the time of the booking, I’d even made small talk about it. I mentally tucked away this information, just in case.
I had nowhere to go after my partner kicked me out but back to my parents house. But at least I had somewhere. I maintained close friendships with my ‘colleagues’ long after I left and they helped me through my breakup. I had never finished high school so had to sit an exam to go to university, but passed with flying colours and received an offer for a Bachelor of Behavioural Science, something I’d been fascinated with my whole life but never had the guts and dedication to pursue. I was back at square one life-wise and it was time for a new direction.
The subject of rape came up through one of my Criminology lectures (my major was Criminal Justice, I wanted to work with juvenile offenders in rehabilitation) and I left early, shaking. I felt like everyone in the lecture hall knew. That they were looking at me, judging me. Free counselling was available to all students and I went from my Crim lecture straight to there to make an appointment. That felt like a weight off my shoulders, having committed to finding SOMEONE to TALK TO. The session was this strange juxtaposition of shame and relief. I felt lighter afterwards.
I stupidly mentioned to my mother that I’d sought counselling through the Uni and was met with questions. She is a very large part of my ‘difficult background’. She wanted to know why. I told her it was private. For almost 6 hours she grilled me. About 4 hours in I broke down and told her I’d been raped. I explained where I was working and that it had occurred there. I was told ‘Well, you shouldn’t have put yourself in that position, should you?!’ The interrogation continued. Now she wanted to know the details, exactly what happened. I said I wouldn’t go into it. It was shortly after 3am that I snapped. After hours of this I couldn’t take any more and screamed in her face at the top of my lungs ‘HE BENT ME OVER A TABLE AND FUCKED ME LIKE A DOG. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!’ I broke down sobbing as I’d never heard it in my own words broken down to a brutal sentence. It was as if the penny had finally dropped. My father heard this from the other end of the house and ended the conversation, telling her to ‘just walk away’. She did, we have never spoken of it since and she has never apologised.
Fast forward. I had a brief relationship (the briefest of my adult life) with a man who had the potential to be ‘the one’. If I’d met him before this, who knows. All I know is I was scared to be alone with strange men and desperately wanted to ‘get back on the horse’ with dating. I thought the longer I waited the more difficult it would be. It took a while for him to earn my trust, but earn my trust he did, and I credit him and his gentle, patient approach with me being able to reclaim my confidence and being able to enjoy sex, like I always used to before I was raped.
We hit a bump in the road (I was too scared to open up the ‘where is this going?’ talk for fear of losing him) and he wasn’t opening that door either but it had been a while and I thought I had better ditch him before he had the chance to hurt me.
That’s when someone I had truly loved from my past got in contact with me. We had been workmates, friends, lovers, friends again and it was the kind of connection that’s unaffected by the passage of time. He has a traumatic past and I confided in him about the rape. His father worked high up in law enforcement, my soulmate encouraged me to speak with his father regarding what had happened. His father reassured me there would be no negative consequences for me reporting this and that while it was the ‘right thing to do’ in the eyes of the law, I should only do it when, and if, I was ready. I felt empowered and he (the father) helped me through the process, from someone to talk to and ask questions, to literally taking me to the police station and waiting for me while I gave a lengthy statement that took hours. I couldn’t have done it without his support. I’m sure I never would have. By the time I made this report, it was a little over 3 years later. I had to force myself to remember but once I pushed myself, the floodgates opened. It was like it happened yesterday and I could picture every moment as I described what had transpired.
I was surprised that it was only just over a year after my report that police contacted me. I attended the station for a lineup, identified my attacker, amended my statement to add extra details and drew them a map of my former workplace. I was informed that my rapist was currently serving a sentence in a maximum security prison and therefore, would definitely not be hard to find when it came time for the trial. It was then only months before I was called in to meet with the DPP and prepare for trial. I was speaking with the sergeant assigned to my case outside the DPP’s office waiting for my lift home when she said to me: ‘I don’t doubt one bit of your story. I know we’ve got the right guy and I think you can help us put him away. For good.’
A date was set for trial, then 2 weeks prior, a 6 month adjournment left me waiting on edge, prepared, but then delayed. It was a difficult 6 months, but I knew things tend to just roll around if you try not to think about them. Then, sure enough, the date came. In that 6 months, my Witness Assistance Officer had taken another job and I was suddenly left in the hands of a stranger, not the same woman who had been preparing me from the start. But it was ok. I had people in my corner. Not to mention, the sergeant was so easy to talk to and the prosecutor assigned to my case was amazing. So relaxed, supportive and helpful. Not judgemental in the least, my biggest fears alleviated.
In Australia, as the accused, if you cannot afford a lawyer, one is assigned to your case, and it’s luck of the draw as to who you get. You have a choice between trial by jury, or judge alone. My rapist opted to avoid a jury and happened to be assigned a fairly prominent barrister for his defence. When the barrister’s name was mentioned in DPP meetings, it seems he had a reputation for being good at his job. While this may not have been a paying client, he was still required to defend my rapist to the best of his ability with his extensive expertise.
I was offered certain choices as the ‘victim’ in the case, deciding whether the court was open to the public and the media or closed, whether or not to have a court companion (provided by Witness Assistance Services) and having a screen placed between myself and my rapist. I thought I should use these options as they were available and requested a screen, court companion and a closed court. The screen was a combination of thin strips, alternating clear and frosted glass, which meant I was still able to see him in the dock, and he was close enough that I couldn’t have reached him, but seemed as if I could have spit on his face from the witness box.
We were allocated 5 days for a trial. It was completed in 6. As I gave my testimony, I was very aware that he was RIGHT THERE, although my court companion sat between the witness box and the dock, they were merely silent moral support, not allowed to speak, hold my hand or actually do anything. Purely psychological comfort. And given I had met them that morning, I found this comfort minimal at best. While I was questioned by the prosecution I could see him through the clear strips of glass, first leaning his head back against the wall, then holding his head in his hands, eventually pacing. I felt confident for the first time. I was leaving the District Courthouse when I caught sight of the prosecutor, still in her robes and wig, she was chatting with bailiffs as she walked but turned and gave me a huge smile with two enthusiastic thumbs up. I finally felt ready for the cross-examination the following day.
His barrister questioned several details of my statement, looking for more details, but my account of the event was solid and I did not waiver. I had specified that the accused had 3 tattoos but while I couldn’t recall the design, I identified the location of each one. There was some discrepancy regarding the booklet I had seen (it was a ‘flyer’ to him, but I had described the cover of a booklet, the same small magazine delivered every month) and I was questioned about a newspaper article from some months ago, regarding a tweet by a prominent member of the sex worker community in my city. He gave three names, asking if I knew any of these women (one being her real name and another her pseudonym, I later found on a google search). I did not, and told him this. I also explained that I don’t use social media, had no Twitter account and was not aware of this tweet. (She had put out a social media warning about my rapist after she had been attacked by him and the police had been unable to help her. This attack had occurred shortly before my attack, and I mean a matter of weeks.)
I saw one of my bosses in the witness waiting room after I was cross-examined, and a former colleague (and former close friend, I had cut all ties to the place after my report) outside of the courthouse. I don’t know who else may have been called to testify, but there were several key names in my report, I can only imagine they were also subpoenaed to testify.
The wait for the verdict was tough, but I distracted myself as best I could. My daughter was about to turn 2 so we booked a quiet holiday, our first family holiday and moments after we arrived, I got the call. Apparently the judge had found me to be ‘an honest and credible witness’ but had to deliver a not guilty verdict due to the fact that while tattoos A and B were correctly identified, tattoo C was not there. (Being over his heart in my memory, perhaps I unconsciously drew a target on him in my mind.)
The discrepancy regarding the flyer / magazine was the only other issue, but in hindsight, the magazine was red and the information was on white paper, the only conclusion that makes sense to me is a FLYER, GLUED TO THE FRONT OF A MAGAZINE. I was told by the prosecutor: ‘I am so sorry for this outcome, I believe it should have been different. But a case as unique as yours will stay with me. You will be remembered by me, and my staff as well, for your strength, class and integrity’. It was good of her to say, but still, it did not mend my broken heart.
The judge had been forced to make this ruling as these two discrepancies left room for his ‘it was someone else’ defence and thanks to these two details it could not be proven beyond a reasonable doubt that it was him. It must have hurt, being a female judge and knowing his criminal history, but also knowing she was not allowed to be biased by it. A judge is held 100% to the confines of the law on a ruling, unlike a jury, who can vote with their gut. My guess would be previous experiences with jurors have taught him something, or that his barrister advised him this would be a gamble.
This man, if you can call him that, has only appeared twice in the media that I can find. Both involved a violent home invasion, holding someone hostage in their home and repeatedly raping them. At the time that he and I crossed paths, he had been paroled after serving 4 1/2 years of a 9 year sentence for the first of these attacks (that were reported in the media, that is). He received a 10 year sentence after the next of these and will be eligible for parole in 2021.
I am terrified. My daughter is not even 4 yet, making her the same age as the little boy who had a knife held to his throat by this man, to prevent his mother from screaming for help while this man raped her in front of her child. I keep thinking that he had no idea who I was, not even my real name, until I took this to the police. But now, he knows my full (real) name and my date of birth, thanks to me providing it in court under oath. He has proven he is capable of holding a grudge (the sex worker who reported him wrote a detailed article about him returning to her place of business and violently attacking her again). I wonder if I would have been better to continue to hide it, to keep trying to forget it, rather than dredge it all up, re-live it in a courtroom and possibly put myself and my family in his crosshairs in the future.
I don’t know what to do. I feel so let down by the judicial system and I’ve been scrambling to increase my home security and get my name removed from the electoral roll before 2021 hits, but the pandemic has been a serious distraction. I’m not sure what I’m trying to achieve with this post, but I don’t want to burden my family with this and have never told the story from start to finish to anyone.
He is incredibly strong, has a history of violence against women and every reason to seek revenge on me. I’m considering changing my name by deed poll. I’m so scared for my baby girl and it’s like a waking nightmare. I just don’t know how to get over it. Sometimes I go into my backyard at night, then go straight back inside because I feel like he might appear somewhere at any moment, over the fence or from the side of the house, for instance. I hate being scared of a ghost.
To those who read this entire post: Thank you.