Valley Forge is now Open Valley Forge Casino Resort

Part 3 in the COVID series.
To try and make this list more helpful, I have added Weekend Day and Weekend Night, as those can be vastly different than during the week.
I'm trying to monitor Twitter and the Vegas Message Board to get some additional information.
Keep sharing all that wonderful goodness.
I'd like to update the wiki to talk about what sidebets casinos have, so if you know that info, I can add it to the table comments.

Vegas Strip Casino	Day Min	Night Min	Weekend Day	Weekend Night	Dividers	Comments
Aria	10	10	Unknown	Unknown	No	Updated 7/26
Ballys	10	15	10	Unknown		3 tables Updated 8/8
Bellagio	10	25	Unknown	Unknown	Yes, all tables
Caesars	15	25	Unknown	Unknown	No
Cosmo	15-25	50-100	Unknown	Unknown
Encore	10	10	10	10	Yes, on some tables	Updated 8/12
Excalibur	10-15	15	10	15		Updated 8/12
Flamingo	15	15-25	Unknown	25		Updated 8/8
Harrah's	15	25	25	25	No
Linq	15	15	Unknown	25	No	Updated 8/8
Luxor	10	10	15	15n		Updated 8/12
Mandalay Bay	15	Unknown	Unknown	Unknown
MGM Grand	10	25	Unknown	Unknown	Yes
NY/NY	10	15-25	15	Unknown	Yes	Updated 8/8
Osheas	Unknown	15	Unknown	Unknown
Paris	15	15	Unknown	Unknown	No	Updated 8/8
Sahara	5	10	10	10		Updated 8/15
Strat	Day	10	Unknown	10	25	No
Treasure Island	5	15	Unknown	Unknown
Venetian	10-15	25	Unknown	Unknown	No
Wynn	10	10	10	10	Yes, on some tables	Updated 8/12

Downtown Casino	Day Min	Night Min	Weekend Day	Weekend Night	Dividers	Comments
Binions	5	10	Unknown	Unknown		Binions had $5 table several times (opens at noon) Updated 8/17
California	10	10	Unknown	Unknown		Tables open at 11AM Updated 8/10
The D	10	15	Unknown	Unknown	No glass
Downtown Grand	10	10	Unknown	Unknown		Table opens at noon. Updated 8/10.
El Cortez	10	10	10	10	Yes, some tables	2 tables Updated 8/15
Four Queens	10	10	10	10	No	Updated 8/15
Fremont	10	10	10	Unknown		Updated 8/10.
Golden Gate	10	15	Unknown	Unknown		Updated 8/18
Golden Nugget	10-15	10	Unknown	Unknown		$15 with one table open on 8/18
Plaza	10	10	Unknown	Unknown		Updated 7/30
Sams Town	15	15	Unknown	Unknown		1 table

Offstrip Casino	Day Min	Night Min	Weekend Day	Weekend Night	Dividers	Comments
Aliente	10	10	Unknown	Unknown
Boulder Station	10	10	Unknown	Unknown
Cannery	5	5	Unknown	Unknown		up to 2 tables - now allowing 4 per side
Ellis Island	5	5	5	5		1 table - Updated 8/17 - I just called the pit at Ellis. Craps table opens up at 10am and its 5 dollars 90% of the time
Gold Coast	10	10	Unknown	Unknown
Green Valley Ranch	10	10	Unknown	Unknown		2 tables open
The Orleans	10	25	Unknown	Unknown		up to 4 tables, I was asked to wear a mask
Palace Station	10	10	Unknown	Unknown	Unknown
Palms	N/A	N/A	Unknown	Unknown		No open date announced
Red Rock	10	15	15	Unknown		Updated 8/14
South Point	5	5	5	10	No	Updated 8/15
Strat	5	10	Unknown	Unknown
Sunset Station	5	5	Unknown	Unknown

Other NV Casinos	Day Min	Night Min	Weekend Day	Weekend Night	Dividers	Comments
Edgewater (Laughlin)	10	10	Unknown	Unknown
Harrahs (Laughlin)	10	15	Unknown	Unknown	no
Atlantis (Reno)	5/10	5/10	Unknown	Unknown		3 tables on weekends
Cal Neva (Reno)	5	5	Unknown	Unknown
Circus Circus (Reno)	Closed	Closed	Unknown	Unknown		Closed table game pit
Eldorado (Reno)	5	10	Unknown	Unknown
Grand Sierra (Reno)	15	15-25 Unknown	Unknown
Peppermill (Reno)	5	5	10	10	3 craps tables
Silver Legacy (Reno)	10	10	Unknown	Unknown
Hard Rock (Tahoe)	5	5	Unknown	Unknown
Harrahs (Tahoe)	10	10	Unknown	Unknown
Montbleu (Tahoe)	10	15	Unknown	Unknown
Nugget (Wendover)	5	5	5	5		Updated 7/31
Peppermill (Wendover)	5	5	10	10		Updated 7/31
Rainbow (Wendover)	5	5	10	10		Updated 7/31

Non/NV Casino	Day Min	Night Min	Weekend Day	Weekend Night	Dividers	Comments
Wind Creek (Wetumpka, AL)	15	25	Unknown	Unknown		4 to a table Updated 7/31
Sycuan (San Diego, CA)	10	10	Unknown	Unknown		Masks required
Barona (So Cal)	10	15	10	10-15		2 tables 2 per side, dealers managing bets for players. Updated 8/21 ($10 at times)
Harrahs (So Cal)	15-25	15-25	15-50	15-50	No	Updated 7/31
Viejas (So Cal)	N/A	N/A	Unknown	Unknown		No live tables
Foxwoods (CT)	15	25	Unknown	Unknown
Mohegan (CT)	15-25	25	Unknown	Unknown		2 were 10, 2
Harrington (DE)	15	15-25	Unknown	Unknown		Must wear mask and face shield
Rivers (Chicago, IL)	15	15
Blue Chip (Michigan City, IN)	5	10	Unknown	Unknown		5 minimum prop bets, 5 min ATS bet.
Caesars Southern IN	10	15	15	25		Updated 8/5
French Lick Resort (French Lick, IN)	15	15	25	25		Tables open at 11am and close at 3AM. Updated 8/5
Harrah's Hooiser Park (Anderson, IN)	10	10	Unknown	Unknown
Indiana Grand (IN)	10	15	Unknown	Unknown	No
Belle (Baton Rogue, LA)	5	10	Unknown	Unknown		one half sized table sometimes they open the big one. $5 small table and $10 big late at night
Hollywood (Baton Rogue, LA)	5	10	Unknown	15		Updated 7/24
L’auberge (Baton Rogue,LA)	15	15	Unknown	Unknown	No
L’auberge (Lake Charles,LA)	15	15	Unknown	Unknown	No	1 bubble craps $5 min
El Dorado (Shreveport, LA)	10	10	10	10		Updated 8/17
Horseshoe (Shreveport, LA) 15	15	15	15		Updated 8/17
Margaritaville (Shreveport, LA) 15	15	15	15		Updated 8/17
Ocean Downs (MD)	10	15		Unknown	Unknown
Maryland Live (MD)	25	50	50	Unknown	Yes	5 tables, 4 per side. Electronic craps 15 min
MGM @ National Harbor	50-100		Unknown	Unknown	Yes	4 craps tables 2 were $50 and 2 were $100 mins. Not bubble craps or low roller options.
Firekeepers (Battle Creek, MI)	10	15+	Unknown	Unknown	No dividers, only distancing	1-2 tables depending on demand, did see it at $15 during the day $25 on Fri/Sat night. Masks required, no smoking. $3 Bubble Craps.
Four Winds Casino	15	15	Unknown	Unknown		Digital craps table 5$ min Tuesday and Sunday night. Did not check bubble craps
Gun Lake (Wayland, MI)	10	15	Unknown	Unknown	No	Temp check, masks, usually the crapless table is open
Turtle Creek (Traverse City, MI)	5	Unknown	Unknown	Unknowned		2 tables, temp check, masks
Soaring Eagle (Mt Pleasant, MI)	10	15	Unknown	Unknown	Yes	5 players per side with glass. Tough to hear dealer.
Hollywood Casino, Maryland Heights (St Louis) MO	15	15	Unknown	Unknown		1 regular table & 1 no craps. 4 per side. No outside drinks.
River City (St. Louis, MS)	20	20	Unknown	Unknown	Unknown	4 players per side. $20 min. You have to have at least a $20 bet for every throw to "hold your spot"
Beau Rivage (Biloxi, MS)	25	25	Unknown	Unknown	unknown	3 tables
Boomtown (Biloxi, MS)	10	10	Unknown	Unknown	Unknown	1 table
IP (Biloxi, MS)	25	25	Unknown	Unknown
Scarlett Pearl (Biloxi, MS)	15	25	Unknown	Unknown	No	Masks required, temp check
The Palace Biloxi, MS)	10	15	Unknown	Unknown
Treasure Bay (Biloxi, MS)	10	10	Unknown	Unknown
Harrah’s Cherokee & Murphy	15	15	Unknown	Unknown	No
Harrahs River Valley (Murphy, NC)	25	25	Unknown	Unknown
Ballys (AC, NJ)	15	15	Unknown	10		Updated 7/29
Caesars (AC, NJ)	15	15	Unknown	15-25		Updated 7/29
Harrahs (AC, NJ)	15	15	Unknown	Unknown
Hard Rock (AC, NJ	15	25	Unknown	Unknown		2 tables - Updated 7-29
Resorts (AC, NJ)	15	25	Unknown	15	Yes	1 table - Updated 7-29
Ocean (AC, NJ)	10	15	15	25	Yes	4-6 tables
Buffalo Creek (NY)	15	25	Unknown	Unknown
Seneca Niagra (NY)	10	15	Unknown	Unknown		1 table, can go up to $25
Jack/Harrah's (Cincinnati, OH)	25	25	25	25		3 tables, $25 open to close
Hollywood (Columbus, OH)	10-15	Unknown	Unknown	Unknown	Unknown	2 tables, masks required
Hollywood (Grantville, PA)	15	25	Unknown Unknown	Unknown		2 tables, masks required
Harrah's Philly (PA)	Unknown	Unknown	15	25		Updated 8/10
Meadows (PA)	10	10	Unknown	Unknown		2-3 tables.
Mohegan Sun (PA)	Unknown	Unknown	25-50	Unknown
Windcreek (PA)	10	10	Unknown	Unknown
Mount airy (PA)	10	10	Unknown	Unknown
Valley Forge (PA)			10
Parx (Bensalem, PA)	15	25	Unknown	Unknown		15 but maintaining 25
Southland Casino Racing (West Memphis, TN)	N/A	N/A	Unknown	Unknown	Yes	4 tables all closed. Other pit games open with plexiglas dividers. Bubble craps $5 minimum.
Mardi Gras (Nitro, WV)			15			Usually open on weekends - Updated 7/28

*Last update 8/21
Part 1. It's getting buried so I figured we would make a new one. Part 2
Pulled additional info from here.

Divining wooly views gathered amidst shaven sheep hither
Withered over swithering stalls denial state of dither
Truth be told frank pens naif soliloquy
Safe as house path hath proven treachery
Steer clear of herd social immunity
Distanced readily available data parsed trendily
Blinks recount lost meanings earned from strife learned through catastrophe
Graft retained splices tour de force movie
Analyzed improvised differently
Can't regain past yet relive history
Elder protocols reference frames with specificity
Documentary denotes concise recusant heresy
Fish stink emanates spoils unquestioned head
Rather than responsible gods chose dead
Lightning rod shields guide flash EMP spread
Relevance revivalist revived rival survivalist
Diatribe analogous corroborates ridiculous
Atoms congress fortuitous naught sea
Devoid self restraint officiates ye
Fitting new attire inspiring streaking
Who protects us whilst we pay for havoc employ they reeking
Hypocritically childish generally speaking
Handshake implies word registers advice
Modern intelligence is artifice
Every three steps forward step back twice
Deities influence me aloof aligned schism in rhyme
Mother Hera ewe chimera godspeed breeds failed design
Bell weather brethren splay scapegoat supine
Veil of illusions enmesh conscious mind
Can't feel my legs good help is hard to find
Hawk departs from pleather glove turtle returns grounded dove
Counteract abet anyone lapped them twice yet still they won
Titans once asked before taking QE
With us or against me democracy
Issuance debt free usury for ye
Soon to be impacting all interested negatively
Cyclops blissfully fail to see plague kills with leniency
World saved through open window tsunami
Backdrops distinct radicle uprooted
Restless tartarus not I confuted
Reputed gambler prophet of doom rigged mind meld welds my tomb
Despondent preach not gloom be democratic or leave cocoon
Imploding race exploding time and space
Unfathomable depths shallow measures
Glasses adorned rose reflective pleasures
Erratic compass static attained gains unsustainable
Emphatically all ages deal unascertainable
Sentiment key to public interest
Democracy assess Big apple bests
Guiding hand meaning Pantheist behest
Seeking one's fulfillment complements of demagoguery
Building baseless pyramid in name of Great Recovery
Hallucination merits upheaval
Remit repreival persecute venal
Sufferance from nescience trumps all evil
Yon morrows martyr covets this abysmal cross commuted
Tread on entrenched fear submit control guiltily included
Govern is to rule as meant to intents
Resourceful proxy heir establishment
Record rallys infer where loans were sent
Pristine colosseums reared commerraderie Fed rum bread
Dropping said crumbs returns dread Which nevermore nary imbeds
Insolvent casino scenario
House always wins with my reservation
Sharing the bulk ignites indignation
Transparency Which critiques subtly speaks Feds peak repent
Weak covenants contained slain whence Green peripherals were went
Theses Ben delivered on depression
Maestro museum managed impression
Keynesian intervention harped dystopian opium
Appeal to supremacy bandwagon psychology
Latin arguementum ad nauseum
Better than expected mass approval
Refuse discard fantasy removal
If you audited our books write off markets on the morrow
No one do we answer to where wheelbarrows go we borrow
Sciences religious mythology
Philosophised finance dichotomy
Genetic archetypal entities
Conversations incidental informations monumental
Facets fawned fastidious selfless attires instrumental
Minions mimic Socratic opinions
Authority inbred majority
Consider selves distinct minority
Yield to ye inferiors subjectively superior
Mechanisms failing sublimation with interior
Greeks conceived benefits in politics
Propaganda versed all in rhetoric
Dwelled anarchic run redeem autarkic
World perceptions inconsistent to obtained views of my own
Optimism timeless shown fantastically overblown
Fate collapses upon observation
Ostriches banked on unexamined lives
Perturbations quantum fluctuations
Foregone measures austere pleasures enforced authenticity
Cessation trepidation ensures no future certainty
Whilst known speed and position now in sync
One makes ye taller yet none make me shrink
Doth not know thyself yore on the brink
Fulfillment will not quail forbidden face of foreign dangers
Entrainment derailed arranged marriage twixt incomplete strangers
Birds of a feather flock with the weather
One marked to market worth two under Bush
Lemmings allegedly demand a push
An existential exercise spins nihilistic nightmares
Nonconformed confirmed uncomfort spirals condescending stairs
Slaughter abolished pig sucklers now fly
Fed up rich bullshit Which lies upon lye
Doth need not for lipstick ride we bone dry
Left to right wrong motivations paved by best intention
Pound me with the cure denounce flesh as impure meets prevention
Overdue elixir panacea
Gold in led stead transmutes alchemist Fed
Spirits confirmed in actions idea
Though hungry swine will freely plow fall submissive tow the line
No offence is meant whence I commence casting pearls before thine
Lead thee to sustenance soon thou shall find
You feed a seed of rage contented caged
That Which hath been remains yet to be seen
One finds upon a wander from yon cave we've left regression
Whence without luminescence stem outlandish such obsessions
Actualized self's realization
Fasting of heart leaves no trace of ego
I fell here from Olympus apropos
Upshot in authenticity shows secure survivors test
Where indiscretions excesses discretely are repressed
Desperate knowledge grievous awareness
I first blew reed pipes but then I digress
Values eroded integrity
Climate corroded ideals irresponsibility
Satisfied my agency autonomous capacity
Bet Dow hath finally had a bad day
Bear in mind they will say twas anway
Old high still standing gold stones throw away
Shorting shooting slope of hope enormous towers treacherous
Each new era crashes in increasing half glass emptiness
Overabundance deserts time delay
Accounts inner morality decay
Strength in pessimism fear forfeits right
Dusk withdraws from sight as shade is drawn over dawn's early light
Narcissistic psychopaths inherited the earth our plight
Quarrying light inspired murky night flee
Ye gods laugh heartily ridicule me
Reckoning another day mine shall be
Subsequently I subsist shifting this rock as Sisyphus
Future pulls upon me as due ration to minus remiss
I'm half crazy bicycle built for two
Network circuitry daisy chained to you
How do I know what is reel to be true
Gather input sensations scrutinize for degradation
Dissembling dissemblance as lacking in resemblance
Singularity prophesied end be
Less threat than icons presently envied
Graven is our image in our idol
Misunderstood system holds revolutions banked on bridle
Give me dominion over doe I care not who makes law
Hegellian dialectic shock and awe
Fixed moments instability move becomes necessity
Moses leads bull rush reeds deceptive swaith
Crisis opportunity incompetence seasons good faith
Fallow plot begot furlough shrieks foul wraith
Yay though I plod through the valley of death
Evil gives comfort my rod and my staff
No fear preparest for my enemies
Parasitic symbiotes surviving vicariously
Job gyrations exploitations sloth thrive ubiquitously
Unnatural select evolution
Bad apple genes rot barrel pollution
Big bang extends concussions extrusion
Elude intrusion neath tapestry relay inscribed decree
Conspiracy theories deliquesced evidence coalesced
Duress dressed as justice undue process
Reduce the law to writ for oversight
Infinitely rules stretch fractally tight
Dollar press lever Wizards tweak whence practised Which deceiver
Feeding frenzy at the top on last chair hot potato drops
Animal farm irrigation believer
Cuckoos in nested loops launched retriever
Social ecological equity
Fauna all created equal although some are more than most
Perched aloft nights sleepless roosters backdate options after posts
Tell a vision avulsed exclusive boasts
Foxes bird box hens fake news oven roasts
Occupy Wall Street greeting champagne toasts
5G technology expandable densification
Cameras considering Laws actual ramifications
Depressions perpetuate FOMO motes
FIFO Ponzi scheme boat redeems fresh float
Gloat sessions connoted roat smote through goat
Destructions need demands feed for Which Fed never hesitates
Beyond salvations hope for damnation destined reprobates
Wolf in sheep's clothing with diplomacy
Bragging best ever broke economy
Pre warned of bubble in candidacy
Memories impeach me markets relapse collapse candor
Black and white deliberations compromise grey matters or
Burning empire riddled Nero fiddled
No new under the sun any longer
What doth not kill my will makes ye stronger
Suicidal quarantine commit sheer to absurdity
Crash course in urgency suspends to decade Odyssey
Engulf journey as is illusory
Entailed magical curtailed mystery
Reproduced sequence spawns duplicity
Great truths infect minds space whilst time distorts fabrics ablation
Balanced scales duration dual edged knife grinds calibration
Wildlife exhumed landslide menagerie
Submission supports popularity
War of attrition print press edition
Release Kraken abridged dictations unredacted memo
Cognitive mind is least informed second thought tis last to know
Feedback iterates habitually
Zombie apocalyptic shopping spree
Animal myriad corroboree
Discrepancies adorable approaching deplorable
Configured integrations simulate exaggerations
Conceptual reorganization
New century frail clings frayed to pale past
Dot com bust imprints last iconoclast
Tragic disposition anchored significance within story
Spherical lyrical expository mourning glory
Expansion dominates fertility
Appropriate most apt utility
Bubble envelops errs infinity
Bold ignorance advanced hind sights distilled new high arrogance
Underlying trauma repeats cycle till addressed complete
Sublates convergence becoming congeals
Cavernous kingdom stalagmite conceals
Peer not in mirror prefer not appeal
Sew a thought in hope to reap an action something real to feel
Neverland begotten old whilst kid futures are oversold
Life lived not lest bits of bites record it
Biased suggestions imbue news reported
Syrinx sears titans with my brand of creed
Written word ceded all forgotten need to practise recall
Calculated math skills lost computer brought thoughts holocost
Ensconced by lantern hung from beam of straw
Helios heals blow of iced ages thaw
Loyal to natural attributes raw
Extraordinary delusional madness of ye crowds
Trot proudly upon road to serfdom congregations praised aloud
Brave was this new world before eighty four
Hunger games in store jaybird tweets that score
Jehovah bore witnesses door to door
Insure myself against four horseman
paid my tithe expired spent
Sow ears flying high on credit barely do I afford rent
Time unwinds quickly at least doth for me
April showers levee spring bankruptcy
Litres live forever in latency
Bailing water steady rising deep subterraneously
Foresee floods invest in arks of financial calamity
Extraneously Rome's blaze radiates
Simultaneously Fed Witches toiled
Slow perniciously satiates frogs boiled
Crisis constructs messenger of sordid too tongued character
Stocks which rise so should slide chosen goose footing egg opposed side
Federal innovates imbibed bribed state
Reserves umpire status hunched hind home plate
Falling knife of fear impaled atmosphere
Short bets squeezed rife barren years unfruitful bleeds contango wine
Inverse ETFs unprecedented reverse splits declined
Nothing it's equal creature without fear
Can't fill hide with harpoons or head with spears
Mire strive dire try pull in Leviathan
Endless procrastination doth avert intent deflation
Unclear when routes passage appears clear as destination
Sorrows station seems my inculcation
Divides built up babble between nations
Seven trumpets summon revelation
Electrostatic circumstance transmits catalytic twist
Substitute reacted chemical transmits platonic tryst
Ironically passion not my goal
Ionically bonded blending coal
Mirrored dipole roll poised down rabbit hole
Experiment first ever repeats Laws defraud endeavor
Mississippi reflating dollar debt exchange creating
Wealth effect transfers helicopter drop
Fracking reserves crack too big to stop
Ineptitude or evilly adept
Calm filled the room as elephants silently drowned in tar pits
History Which hails tense whence Fed injections flew to market
Lucrative house flipping stained soil carpet
Real reign swamp purge comes to street again
Broken window theory frisk fallacy
Destructions need graciates feed for Which Fed never hesitates
Seven headed hydra twixt blaspheming regime duplicates
Purgatory epic allegory
Apathy lacks worry for avoidance
Dreams annoyance recurring clairvoyance
Complacent consternation burns concerned capitulation
Catacomb further catenates future pyroclastic blasts
Install a new partition date saved last
God creates man's imaged eternity
Man made device for immortality
Only way to beat life be articulate as dead machine
Foiling might be finding wanting nothing just as pleasing
Emoted thoughts and deeds confer disease
Viral joy contained anxious unease
Communicable known uncertainties
Mention stoic abstention receive lepers reprehension
Addend subconscious attention suchness sought destination
Protectionist tribal groupthink ensues
Misdirect blame profane color thou choose
Divide and conquer plan by Jove we use
Minting for a living tis nothing short of scintillating
Weaponry mass produce we entropy disintegrating
Rebirth essential in this finite trap
Technicals crucial analysis map
Impulse mined collective wiretapped caps
Souls endless extrapolating each threshold encapsulating
Mutually affecting Titans ever overreaching
Battles march business no fight beseeching
Cyanide reaction gold is leaching
Settle for distraction Athene’s teaching
Shares fabricate infrastructure bonds for manufactured war
Master in ways of deception weaving fleece her predilection
Declined vine illustrates interjection
Fundamentally ye add furthermore
Whole vacuus nature I find abhor
Each new day opportune to go by street sideshow pundits shout
Marginally most will comply seek aggressive salesman clout
Run through stampede proceed in funnel out
Mosaic tile code mixed mirage mud grout
Worm abated hook ate some fat cat’s trout
Informed when glad relate when mad great is not the worst we've had
Next quarter rates Which inflates translates to direct tabled fate
Disinformation chads dangling depart
Troublesome travel when horse pushes cart
Trojans craft driftwood regifted as art
Taken rate decision interest always is a given
Approached encroachment infringements lunged impingement I expunged
Spell manifests as living hell digests
Calcareous sponge absorbed rimstone plunge
Cookbook to serve lamb seals underhand
Sinter sauntered asunder plotting pillage of my plunder
Attack technique intervenes quoth slighted victim claims obscene
Cried mystified feeling such waste sprayed mace
Save face retrace find safety inside shrouded space
Access filter modified denied trash storage verified
Angels four spew brimstone fire scorched ingress half expected less
Trick talk turns back clock players profiles rotate roles resume
Covertly campaigned defiling my name
Creations Instigate destruction
Erupts surreptitious instruction
Bewildered heard shocked embrace loomed Gates of Hell gauge WHO won race
Military missionary hold prostrate to vaccinate
Chaotic Kronos ordered time consumed
Stow stoked fumes subsidies gave the gods room
Whilst land of the fraud is home to the knave
Babylon of living nonexistent through the golden age
Cassandra of this stage ilk ignores inklings of alarmed sage
Chicken little forebodes sky is falling
Rope a dope fades rationalisation
Brittle doth be fragile ye recalling
Loquacious news needs slews feigned of disambiguation
Mendacious or fallacious contagious be implications
Butterfly flapped wing doth not move a thing
But a gnat perhaps who's too GAD to fly
Financing is how but where is the why
Important that all patriots patronize conquesting troops
Dodge ye head stoop as pooping eagle swoops
Most dismissive uninspired missive
Perceptually far too derisive
Guiding hand not apparent visual
Missing cash flows continual residual bottom lines
Pinnochio hopes to know Which ideal conjures growth sublime
Dendrites potentially stimulate spine
Titanic torrents mist venetian blinds
Decidedly distort bilked disincline
Writhe in through chasm in awe open wide
Formless figures summon uniform pride
Dismiss discontent conveyors subside
Tributaries dispersed springs knowledge trees freeze molten ore
Splintering sparks displaced thick dark coruscate tangible floor
Cumulus clouds of primordial dust
Question our senses in sun god we trust
Sifted silts produce thunderbolts of Zeus
Oval elliptical orbits the folds tidal tendency
Blue sphere girds spoken word breathed clay Boulder Forge Company
Quality moulding is job number one
Caste mass producing consumes many sons
My duty to ensure we always run
Figured would be a piece of cake more at work than give and take
Thought this would be my big break but not knowing literally
Apprenticed construction now I maintain
Composite skill same commissioning game
Swim or wallow in Uranus disdain
I made the trade not for reward nor deemed security
Only gospel guarantee is confidence in mastery
Tasked to sit in a chair contemplate stare
Crosswords in wait for a breakdown repair
I study craves of machines which behave
Rhythmic clang links chain react percussional power set free
Insatiable harmony piques morbid curiosity
Beast belly bowel bubbles belch smelt death
To quota of product do I owe breath
Economic cauldron of corrosion
We operate Vesuvius ungodly hours breathing brine
Facilitate yon amplidyne oxygenate lavas shine
Steering eather into three cyclops cells
Myopically they motion for me when cycles in chaos my sirens knell
Lion hearted as Hephaestus take knee before crucibles hearth
Examine vitals symptoms prognosis deduce further impart
Volt amps transcend times root of three powers
Frequently electrons ebb in order
Arc bath gives rise to hot molten showers
May bring flowers demonstrate my will in accord rewards her
Athena is truth incarnate dream she is a movement
Immaculate perfection possessed no
need for improvement in her coveralls
Wert she to eaten apple I befall
Sand disseminates beneath hourglass curves she manipulates
How could I anticipate
Rapt hints had she to intimate
Roots hypotenuse squares summed pendulum
Enlightened visions profound pit this plum
On que she hooks her thunderbolts so ample in restriction
Destabilized my volts despite my amping up conviction
Magnetisms repulsive attraction
Bipolar feedback generates action
Machining floral dissatisfaction
Narcissus is spring can't this robot tool be taught anything
Recommence imaging thine vault undermined after fault
Intuit as her nuclear annihilates tumult
June accusations forced violation
Vulnerable to invalidation
Confrontations repudiation consents allegation
Placate June”s wells breached swell fore July conflagration
Use wu wei to vacate situation
But weightless behemoth ate all greenbacks
Can’t manage exit not even a crack
Inward forays shunned malfunction unknown overgrown morass
Cult of quantity all students get a pass coach seat class
God’s walled over all access to egress
Those who cannot do are experts at best
Past practise succeeds failures teach what needs
Viridescent pools dilate grey eyed dubious stressed madness
Feeling she was slighted by my passage through her nucleus
Disinterested I had disinterred
Down period Kondratieff winter
Intrinsic tragedy all fairy tales end inherently
Gave me what I wished for in a way I was not hoping for
Destiny permits paths forbade
How shallow wilt thou will wade
PCB cesspools black bile pitches glue
Smoldering sand dune trenches shore magmas excess residue
Admit this time smashing cymbals whilst cyclops wert drumming too
Keep the fantasy alive in my head
Earthquake take other route instead
Always say they never saw it coming
They did In Herculaneum still their brains steamed in their skulls
Summer solstice solace lulls lava ladles plentiful
Cumulative studies validations
Inseminate process degradation
Trying not to mention my invention
Bending toward normalcy absorption emits diffraction
Inverted perceptions withdraw inflections from emptiness
Perplexing she rejects ram intellect
Anecdotal evidence cached respect
Zip plans to stockpile cognizance combined
Designed secret punishment to circumvent I resigned
Recollect for instance cognitive lessons in dissonance
Logic accepts one view perceived of two
Pit of mine stomach whence knot always knew
Treasonous betrayed lion taming shrew
Spite cleaved interface continued dutiful onward pace
Humiliations goal wert to replace cheers with disgrace
Orchestrations untold meticulous
Malevolence is still in existence
Narrative streams unfold conspicuous
Childish bliss unscrupulous epidemic Narcissus
Invasive species multiplied since Zeus supplied his sun’s abyss
Affect change rather than effect ere cause
Gaslight obfuscates reasonable laws
Tall tales half truths edged lies by omission
Unwary reprehense motive intents of recognition
Splitting of the faculty augments a new reality
Fight freeze or flee options only three
Trials choose middle choice typically
Stockholm syndrome captors figured friendlies
Volunteer for brunt of blame acquiesced toxic shame domain
Raging stirs steroid cortisol adrenaline cocktail brain
Idealize devalue sudden discard
Benevolent dictatorship abstained
Without the faintest regret or regard
Figured she was playing me but never thought she'd try so hard
Had a little influence pummeling blacksmith into bard
Feeling flashback symptoms PTSD
Reflux acid regurgitates anxiously
Facilities shut down my apogee
Estranged entanglement is indiscriminate vicinity
Projection deflects inspection detects proffered rejection
Upon reflection I/O failed connection
Reverse detail switched doppler direction
Attacked mine tranquility enacted thine stability
Great relationships determined by good portability
Amor Fati defeat of agony
Heroic transitions affirmation
Chinks of crevasse evasive to bypass
Labyrinth strings web of deceit light and dark unlikely meet
Shadows reconnection Schadenfreude revels surrection
Maze ambled afore trapped in Minotaur
Disintegrating reintegration
Unfurled divest individuation
Emergence of self under siege August surfacing intrigues
Sun god aims retribution penetrating air dilution
Perpetrating vengeful execution
Cyclop's blindsided coming attraction
Apollo's exaction vents extraction
Redress reclaimed door discharged from mine chore
Concussions cavitations roar gaff retrieved my staff from shore
Gangplank fastened transit for deck from wreck
Embodied under mass gravitation
Nothingness consistent contradiction
In retrospect ahead investigate that Which is suspect
Chastened flaming embers titillate orange September moon
Hastened retreat not an instant too soon
Burgeoning three wave prosperity shewn
Wave five trait mimics Echo past monsoon
Perpetually parallel dramas punctual insane
Aphrodite's inception purged migraine foam seethed fire in vain
Twain hath liquidity trickled down drain
Consult oracle ogle tangent plane
Bow to stern brood tempestuous coxswain
Demurrage fee aptly sought to regain lay of way terrain
Masked my gnashing lion waves stumble as they spread before me
Mountain rubble crumbles bloodied red sea
Locusts cannibalistic commotion
Uncanny notion overt devotion
Fixed betwixt twin scorpions stings subtle by a hares degree
One longs to age as seas submit one hole subliminally
Desire loves desire more than that desired
Overtime I find wanting displeasing
Fuel to fire Aphrodite’s teasing
Symptomatically nymphomaniac releasing
Random cosmos berth patterned beyond cyclic perimeter
Doth not feel momentum ye be the tide
Volume reduced ambient limiter
Futile to resist flow fatal to ride
Impressed by the strung rope ladder of unquestioned good status
Doctors orders therapeutic regressive Hedonism
Bureaucracy forced parentalism
Founding fathers Titan nepotism
The health preventative catechism
Give only to take away to give again another day
Rewards gods some token compensation
Anyone here not get paid besides me
Red light starboard wax eared crew rendezvous
Bounded by my sacrifice to irresponsibility
None of the other prize winning
players gamble here but me
Battened down fear gauge groups psychopathy
Ever since world went into bankruptcy
Call for Panic Zeus black masked his swan song
Yarn for youthful innocence gone stick slip traction moves this throng
Tread borderline separating time providing till from when
Uneven Titans tip unbalanced ships
Dualities tune unity in trine
One thing I did learn when within confine
Whom hath desire for nothing believes doth not need anything
Misinterpretation required missing zero still a thing
Axons bemoan sequence of no return
Feeling slight injustice step forward commandeer ambition
Venus akin to mine headache just better known rendition
Under spotlight favorite position
Internally propelled by externals
Take this Autumnal equinox swear on the cross tis vernal
All the gods explicitly sing chants how lucky I must be
Bring Mordor back to toss this precious ring
Prospect she fertilized inferring seed
Open union upon Which we agreed
Karma conflates heavens gates contrived in Pandemonium
Green shoots elate consummate concerns inspire Pavlovian
Theories cosigned conspiracies maligned
Impermanence ineffably refined
Ignorance binds energy disinclined
Universal conception pride of self
love contraception
Trying to be pliable but find it reprehensible
All dispensable Great Complacent Sea
Sizing words wisely rids ostensible
Lies the only guise now found comprehensible
Prophylactic allude to didactic
Though whilst I work at chore she’s Ares whore
I snagged them embarrassingly naked afore gods before
Yellen Helen neither nor wert worth war
Bowl of wrath judgement ignored poor decor
Titans empathizing with swimming clothes
In her throws she extolled excitement being extra exposed
Far be it from she to assume joint responsibility
Exponential debt credits game theory
On that we agree tis rigged currency
Opportunistic imperialists
Propaganda grasshoppers enlist ants backbone socialist
Can't remember when gathered last had a say any matter
Other nations forfeit right to do it
Export of inflation needs conduit
Concert donates borders New World Order
Blockchain came about when drunk bartender could not reach the spout
Yahweh will control all money now they have it figured out
Waiting for my minute to be clever
Stamp my name on the gods minds forever
My switchblade really needs to cut them off
No clue what the gods know only that they need to run the show Narcissistic parasites charisma lands entitlement
Vampires nourish roots to stunt encouragement
Protocol enticing invitation
Condemnation staged cooperation
Intolerable acts left no coercive tea leaves intact
Coven of bag passing Witches gave chase across red waters
Need another nine stitches sons twixt daughters
Waiting in the balance moment of force
Hatch guillotine MRI triggered source
Soaked up dripped Wyrmwood postulated solvent tasted good
Full equilibrium half ballast set assail for malice
Octobers placid benign chilled chalice
Brain scan photocell senses light all is well
If instead bulb shows dead off with thee head
Also as a godsend bonus honed mom’s splendid jury throne
Captive chaperone audience fettered judgement chains inlaid
Skipping to a Witch hunt after masquerade
Topside upper deck on the promenade
Propellor fashion later ohm made blade
Behooved turtle jail sac tail flailed back satyromaniac
Passionate parade personifying Nature of tirade
Horney gimp hind quarters brace graced limp
Llama spitting image of Obama
Clinton's dole out cigars contribute scars
All guests in attendance dressed as promised change we forget lest
Salubrious familiar strangers grooving Harvey Danger
Politically free redundancy
Reagan closed asylums threw away key
Identity hath no cost found when lost
Consolidations vibrate quantized sinusoidal noise
Pullback hull triangulate alow by my device and Echo
Feel lonely frost amongst the other masks
Survival is appeasing to their tasks
Remember November elect Semper
Meaning faithful to all members not just only archaic
On the way to office run your head
through photovoltaic
Vanishing quickly old liquidity
Seven plagues capsized immortality
The line hath paid out to the bitter end
Too big to sail exhale replications glorification
Night zeniths elevation nadirs sun's regeneration

continuing
As I was picking myself up off the shooter’s shack floor, I glanced over to the TV.
The ballplayers were all wandering around the field, looking skyward. Evidently, there was this hellacious explosion…even the television sports commentators were speculating as to what happened.
Whoops.
I looked out into the quarry. The wall that I had charged had receded some 75 feet.
There was rather a large amount of shattered, blasted dolomitic limestone now in the quarry. Enough, I found out later, for a full month’s worth of orders.
We never did find the blasting mats. I think they sort of evaporated.
Luckily, the quarry is essentially an open amphitheater in plan view; basically a big hole in the ground with vertical limestone walls. The shockwave of the blast that didn’t spend itself shattering the limestone into which it was housed, blew out laterally, hit the opposite quarry wall, rebounded, and then dispersed, rather energetically, vertically upward.
I set off car alarms for a 20 block radius.
There were no broken home windows, as the lion’s share of the shock wave was redirected upward.
Good thing there were no low flying zeppelins or dirigibles in the area...
I waited the requisite time to allow for any loafers. There were none, so I jumped into the nearest wheel loader and began clearing the quarry floor. Hell, I had to so I could open the front gate.
As I was clearing the floor, making pile number eight of the loose rock I had liberated, I heard the characteristic whoop-whoop of emergency vehicles.
I parked the wheel loader, opened the front gate, and raised the green flag. That was enough blasting for one day.
A few minutes later, three police cars zoom into the site. Two were local city cops, and one was a state trooper.
“Hi, guys!” I waved, “Nice day, innit?”
“Doctor Rock! We should have known.” One of the local boys groaned.
“Hey, I did call you beforehand, as per procedure,” I said.
Polack the cop walks up, just knowing I was responsible. “Yeah, but we didn’t figure on you terrorizing the entire city.”
“Polack! How goes it?” I asked.
The other local cop and the state trooper look to Polack, “You know this maniac?”
“Oh, hell yeah. For years. Don’t worry, the good doctor is mostly harmless.” He chuckles.
“Damn. OK. I guess everything’s OK. Just no more shooting today, please, Doctor. It’s going to take hours to calm everyone down.” He laments.
“Yes, sir. I’m done for the day.” I reply, snickering slightly.
The one local and state trooper depart, shaking their heads in amazement. This left Polack to follow me over to the shooter’s shack to mooch a cigar and whatever else he can find.
“Jesus Hula-Dancing Christ, Rock. What the hell was that? I was all the way out in Whitewatosa and heard you.” He asks as he sneakily snakes a smoke out of my case.
“Just some common chemicals in the proper proportions.” I snicker.
“Which were?” he asks.
I go in the back of the shed and toss him an empty container of one of the parts of the binaries I used. He catches it, reads the label, and drops it like a live grenade.
“Binaries? Fuck! Like what you used at the tower?” he asks.
“Yep. I used just a little more.” I reply.
“Little more? Damn, as I said, we’ve been briefed on the stuff. This shit’s nasty.” He shakes his head.
“Yeah. Fun, too.” I reply.
Polack grabs a Sprechler’s Cream Soda out of the fridge as I opt for a cold Cream Ale and shot of potato juice. Hell, I was done for the day, so…
We sit around and have a chat, just shooting the shit, as it were. Manly topics, so the conversation eventually steered over to guns.
“Hey!” Polack remembers, “That’s right! You fucking owe me. Let me borrow that fucking cannon you carry. I want to show the chief a thing or two.”
“Yeah, that’s right”, I agree, “When do you need it?”
“This Friday, after shift. It’s the monthly qualifiers for us.” He notes.
“Are pyromaniacs allowed in?” I ask.
“To observe? Sure. To shoot? Nope. Insurance regulations.” He says.
“What time?” I continue.
“1800 hours.” He tells me.
“I’ll be there. I’ll bring my gun and an assortment of loads. Hey, this could be fun!” I evilly smile.
“Doctor. You’re doing that thing again. You’re grinnin’ like a shithouse rat. You know how much that scares me. Stop it.” He pleads.
“No worries. Friday at 1800 hours.” I reply, grinning.
Polack slurps down his Sprechlers, snitches another stogie, and squeals out of the quarry in a cloud of dense dolomitic dust.
I arrive back at our flat, after stopping for two frozen custard Turtle Sundaes, to go. I give one to an appreciative wife and I ask her about her day.
“Oh, went shopping with Oma. Got the cutest shoes, and a new purse, and…oh well, never mind. You’ll see.”
Between bites of Turtle Sundae, she asks how my day went.
“Oh, my dear. I had a real blast.” I replied, not lying in the least.
Monday, after my first classes, I’m back in the faculty lounge, savoring a Greenland Coffee.
There was the usual instructor chatter when Dean Vermiculari walks in.
“Good morning, Dean!” I say. “Care for a sit-down and a coffee?”
“Good morning, Doctor Rock. Yes, please to both.” He replies.
I fix us both a fresh Greenland Coffee and return to our table. I hand him one and sit down to savor my soupçon.
“How was your weekend?” I ask the Dean of the College.
“Oh, very nice. Had a fine time catching some perch and crappie out on Lake Genever. I see you had a victorious weekend as well. Twice.” He smiles.
“Twice?” I asked.
“Well, your handling of the tower demolition made all the papers. Very, very well done, Doctor. I congratulate you.” He smiles.
“Thank you, Dean. That means a lot. Just doing what I can with what I’ve got. But twice?” I replied.
“It wasn’t front-page news, but I saw there was some, well, let us just say, ‘energetic activity’ out at the Silurian reef limestone quarry yesterday.” He grinned.
“Oh, yes. I had a job to do and well, as I always say: ‘Nothing succeeds like excess.” I smile back.
“Quite. This beverage you’ve created is really rather extraordinary, Doctor. Again, I thank you.” He tips his mug my direction in the age-old Midwestern salute.
“It’s a little recipe I picked up on my last expedition to the northlands. I grew rather fond of the concoction.” I replied.
“Ah, I see. Marvelous.” He smiles.
“Thank you, Dean. High praise indeed.” I reply.
“Which leads me to…ah, Doctor Rock. I have another favor to impose upon you.” He says, all serious.
“Yes, Dean? How can I be of service?” I ask.
“We, as you no doubt know, have many, many fine extractive mineral company connections. We actually receive quite a large amount of funding and endowments from them. They recruit here extensively for our young geoscientists. Now, since Dr. Pataariki has left for industry himself, I would like to appoint you as the College of Natural Sciences corporate liaison.” He explains.
“Indeed?” I replied, too stunned for words for once.
“Yes, indeed.” He continues, “It will require travel, mostly domestic, and delivering symposia at various companies on differing extractive geological subjects. You will also serve as host and university coordinator when they are present on recruiting tours. There will, of course, be additional remuneration to accompany the added responsibilities.”
I slurped my coffee, thinking furiously.
“Could I please first discuss it with my wife before I answer?” I ask.
“Oh, Doctor. Of course, of course. Take your time. I will not require a reply until… tomorrow.” He smiles, finishes his coffee, thanks me again, and toddles out.
“Yow, Es!” I exclaim, “This is one hell of an opportunity. It’s never before been offered to a junior professor. This will cement my tenure-track. It’s going to be a bitch with time, though. What do you think I should do?”
“Well, Rock, honey, I think you should do…” Es begins.
“No! None of that ‘do what you think is best’ stuff. I want your own thoughts, just like when I decided to go after my doctorate.” I explained.
“OK, then.” Esme looks all serious like she’s going to deliver a bipartisan political speech.
“Yes.” She says, firmly
“That’s it?” I ask.
“Yep. You asked I answered. We’ll make it work. We always do. You can’t let the Dean down. You will accept tomorrow without fear or qualms of your wife’s hesitations, of which I harbor none.” Esme proclaims.
“Did I ever tell you of the myriad reasons I love you so?” I ask.
The next morning I meet with Dean Vermiculari. He’s pleased that I accept and hands over to me the charter. Then the lists of company representatives, their contact information, and some other secret stuff that I can’t divulge right yet.
A raft of oil companies will be coming in the late spring semester, so I need to contact each and every one to solidify dates, times and positions for which they’re recruiting. But that’s for then, I have something more proximal for now.
I have a Friday appointment with Polack the cop at the town police shooting range.
I arrive spot on time with my Casull .454 Magnum pistol, in its carry bag, along with a small duffel crammed with Pyrodex, Tannerite, and selection of specialty loads I had Herman the German, the inveterate gunsmith, create.
Herman the German, his actual sobriquet, was this incredible gunsmith, craftsman, and all-around artillery specialist. Have any sort of problem with a rifle, shotgun, or pistol? See Herman. Gun holding too high? See Herman. Barrel warped? See Herman. Need solid gold projectiles for a certain one-off job? See Herman.
Herman the German can sort it out.
Just never ask him: “How?”
“Ach! I’ve lived so long to learn, and you want it free? I’ll fix it, you pay, but I am only one knowing how!”
Herman was a cranky old Kraut, and has lived here for as long as anyone can remember. Even my Grandfather had deferred to Herman when he had some particularly delicate machining operation that need special attention and was unique.
As far as anyone knew, Herman had no family, but was never at a loss for friends. He was one of the most popular, and well known, but still oddly really unknown, kind of mysterious, old bastards in the entire community.
Herman the German liked me because I could obtain for him certain high-energy things he couldn’t. All were entirely legal, but some were sort of out there in the gray zone.
He also liked that I was educated, as he held education in the highest esteem. He also liked that I was of German extraction myself.
I often made it a point to drop by with odd and unusual high-octane potables while never expecting anything in return other than a story or a shared cigar.
Herman created some special loads for my .454 Magnum, which he prized.
“I like your gun, Doctor Rock, it is so big! I can still see well enough to build things for it.” He told me one day over cheroots and Schnapps.
Herman was a character to be certain. It must have been the pixie in him to dream up some of the specialty rounds he created for me to share with the local constabulary.
He lived out in the county by himself in an old farmhouse. He had a full machine shop in his basement, complete with forge, metal handling equipment, and a firing test range.
He handed back my .454, rather solemnly.
“Doctor, I am afraid to say I couldn’t test all the special rounds I’ve created for you. I need to patch the hole in the cinder blocks in the downstairs range. Your gun punched right through the back…” he apologized.
Now, Herman does all sorts of work on the local’s deer rifles, the police’s ordinance and has even worked some with the Baja Canada National Guard. Some of the little novelties he’s dreamed up for me are the first to escape his homemade basement test range.
I felt oddly honored.
After proving who I was to the nice range officer, I looked around trying to find Polack.
“It’s 1550. Where the hell is Polack? I wondered.
“Rock! Over here.” Polack calls to me.
He motions me outside to the police department’s tactical outdoor range. I had thought all along he was referring to the indoors police target range. This might pose some problems.
The tactical range was a series of clapboard shacks, all setup and designed to represent some downtrodden urban inter-city landscape. There were a couple of junked cars, broken sidewalks, storefronts, houses, bus stops…in short, all things necessary to replicate the seediest sections of a settlement where malefactors live and breed.
The cops all run around this range, shooting at bad guy pop-up cut-outs and avoid the not-bad-guy pop-up cut-outs. They’ve got music blaring, firecrackers going off, all trying to re-create a shady deeply urban environment. Points are awarded by the accuracy of fire on the run, time to maneuver the course, and the ability of not gunning down innocent bystanders.
It is not the best place to test a .454 Cusall. This hand cannon recoils like a fundamentalist Christian being solicited for donations to Anton LaVey, shoots flames and incandescent gasses like Smaug after a hard night of drinking and a stop at the Taco Bell buffet, is louder than a dime-store Karen demanding to see a Manager, and more powerful than a Ghost Pepper suppository.
To quote Joe Piscopo: “It shoots through schools.” Especially faux-schools made of plywood.
A .32 or .38 cop special is the correct weapon here; even a 9mm is a little heavy. Enough power to make a serious dent, easy on control, light on the recoil…a good tactical weapon.
But, nothing succeeds like excess.
Polack’s Chief is running around, capping off his ‘big ol’ .44 Magnum, and making the valley echo. He punches considerable holes in the pop-up cut-outs, but has such a hard time handling the recoil, his score is barely passable.
Polack runs his test with his standard 9mm sidearm and qualifies easily. However, he’s nowhere near done with his Chief yet.
I suggest to Polack we have a shoot-off. And since a .44 Magnum bullet ‘is so close to a .454 Magnum’, which it isn’t…the .454 Casull generates nearly 85% more recoil energy than the .44 Magnum; that we’d need something other than holes punched in plywood to judge the efficacy of each.
We are literally just down the road from Max Yazzer’s farm and market. They’re the place you go for your Halloween jack-o-lantern. However, now, he has a surplus of melons.
I think you can see where this is headed…
I borrow Polack’s personal conveyance and run down to Max’s farm. I return with a trunk-load of elderly, overripe, cheap as chips, melons. Watermelons, Honeydews, Musks, and Casabas.
We place them in strategic areas on the course, five for the Chief to find, and five for Polack.
A .44 vs. a .454 melon-wise results in pretty much the same sort of mess: high-velocity fruit spatter. Although, the Chief was very impressed by the report of the .454. So, after running the tactical-melon course, clear demarcation of a winner was elusive.
OK, OK, clever dicks. How about this? A standing shoot-off? We’ll set up 3 melons each at 30, 20, and 10 yards. Beginning at 30 yards, your time will be until you take out all three melons. But, they’re not going to be in a straight line, we’re going to make them somewhat camouflaged. You will stand in one small demarcated area, hunt those miscreant melons, and bring them to justice. Fastest time and greatest display wins, as determined by the Police Peanut Gallery.
Polack and the Chief agree.
The Chief goes first and dispatches the melons, with a fair amount of spatter, in 15.3 seconds.
Not bad.
Polack is next. He wipes out all the melons and creates some thoroughly impressive displays with Herman’s ‘special’ rounds. Normal ballistics for the .454 are, for a 250 grain (16 g) bullet, a muzzle velocity of over 2,400 feet per second, developing up to 2,800 ft-lb of energy.
Herman’s hot loads are double that.
Polack wins the day on impressive high-velocity melon distribution, but misses, so close, with a time of 17.0 seconds.
Recoil’s a bitch.
Then there are Herman’s ‘specialties’.
The Chief is duly impressed and even comments that his ears are ringing even with the ear protectors. He asks to inspect the weapon. He is even more than duly impressed.
Polack knows what’s up and asks the Chief if he’d like to give a whirl.
Of course, the Chief can’t back down.
Polack loads the .454 with 5 of Herman’s specialties: hollow-point rounds loaded hot, compressed, and tipped with alkaline earth metals, like metallic sodium and metallic potassium…
We set up the nastiest, glorpiest, just barely-holding-together, overripe, laced with Tannerite (an impact-actuated low-explosive) watermelon at the ‘Concealed Carry’ distance of 5 meters.
We slowly fade back into the distance to avoid the inevitable ‘Gallagher reaction’.
The Chief fires one, and just nicks the top of the melon. Don’t laugh, with the type of recoil and heft of the sidearm, and tensing up in anticipation, it’s easy to be off the mark initially.
The second round impacts dead-center. Now, alkaline earth metals and water don’t get along really well. In fact, their relationship is explosive. Especially explosive when delivered at 2,900 feet per second.
The Chief catches a huge smattering of vitamin-packed watermelony back blast goo.
He’s not entirely happy. He looks positively grisly with all that blown-up melon schmoo on his nice, neat uniform.
He returns my gun and bans me from ever showing up at the police range again.
Polack is on traffic duty for the next month.
He figures it was well worth it.
Back at the flat, Esme is shaking her head and wondering if I’ll ever grow up.
“I may grow old, but I’ll never grow up.” I reply.
I see I have several missed phone calls. Ah, me; no rest for the weary. Back to company-university liaison duties.
After I had contacted these companies, I receive no less than 12 requests for symposia, talks, and seminars to be given to various level of industrial scientific employees in their respective companies.
I am now slated to give academic conferences on stratigraphy, sedimentology, and seismic structural geology to different companies in Houston, Oklahoma City, Denver, Casper, Corpus Christi, New Orleans, and Tulsa. In the next 12 weeks, I’ll be giving no less than 8 talks in seven cities.
I speak with Dean Vermiculari on how best to handle the situation. He understands and appoints two graduate student teaching assistants to handle my classes while I’m on the road. That relieves me of being physically there, but I still have to grade papers, compose lesson plans, and keep things running smoothly until finals.
Besides giving the talks, there’s travel to oil fields, production facilitates, manufacturing plants, hotels, restaurants while I’m in town…the pace is excruciating. I’m gone more than I am at university. Plus in my time back home, I’m still the ad hoc master blaster for the limestone quarry.
Then, there’s the companies arriving on campus, and the roles are reversed. Now I’m the welcome wagon and have to sort out the logistics of receiving the company representatives. I need to set up the colloquia to introduce the companies to the prospective students, arrange lodging, arrange passes for the university, transportation, “Meet-and-Greet’s, ad infinitum.
I knew this was having a bit of effect on me when I came back to the flat after one particularly grueling ordeal of canceled flights, full hotels, missed connections and lukewarm reception by the company workers.
“Hello”, I said, as I walked in the flat, “I believe you have a reservation for…”
Esme just stood there, wondering if I was having a laugh.
No, I wasn’t. I was completely hallucinating from road weariness, lack of sleep, jet lag, and total disorientation. This continued on for the next approximately 18 months.
Esme was beginning to have second thoughts about all this.
My teaching load was diminished by one whole introductory course. However, I was still flying hither and yon, delivering symposia, meeting with young geoscientists and getting to know the ins-and-outs of the Oil Industry.
I found it particularly fascinating.
Time marched on and it was once again it was the recruiting season. We had no less than eight oil companies visiting the university in their quest to swell the roster of their junior scientists.
I’m still busier than a one-armed paperhanger in a windstorm, but have settled into a groove of sorts. I know the company recruiters and they now know me. I’ve actually struck up friendships with several. Particularly since I take them to the best local restaurants and bars after their recruiting duties are finished.
I’ve met with recruiting representatives of Shrill Petrol, Mexxon, Nobil, Nocono Oil, Flug, Geddy, Brutish Petroleum, and Qexaco.
The recruiting season is winding down and I find myself with Red (not Adair), of Nocono Oil.
“Well, Doctor Rock”, Red states, “Another fine recruiting run. We’ve snagged two of your young geologists and one geophysicist. I’d say it was almost a perfect score.”
We’re sitting in the Norton’s Steakhouse. After a couple of prime pink porterhouses, we’re working on the post-dinner double vodka and bitter lemon for me, and Lagavulin for Red.
“Almost perfect?” I ask.
“Yeah. There’s been this one small nagging concern from our company higher-ups.” Red continues.
“What’s that?” I ask.
“We need some more senior people. For one thing, we’ve recently opened a new petroleum laboratory down in our Houston office. Going to need some serious talent to run that show.” Red says.
“I see”, I reply, “And…?”
“We need mentors. Those with varied and far-flung knowledge. They must be well educated, global in experience and stature, with an [ahem] diverse set of skills.” Red notes.
“Whew”, I agree, “That’s a tall order. You want my help with names of possible candidates? Is that it?”
“Not as such, Doctor.” Red drains his drink, motions for me to do the same, and orders another round.
Our drinks arrive and Red downs half his in one gulp.
“Well, then”, I continue, “How can I help?”
Red chuckles, “For someone so educated, you can really be thick as two short planks at times.”
I sit back, and sip my Old Thought Provoker.
The mercury-vapors light off.
“No!” I say, incredulously.
“Oh, yes.” Red smiles.
“No?” I ask, slowly taking in the possible effects of what he’s hinting at…
“OK, Doctor Rocknocker”, Red gets all serious and corporate, “We’d like to offer you a position at Nocono Oil as Senior Laboratory Manager and Head of Corporate Continuing Education.”
You could have knocked me over with a grenade. I was stunned. I fumbled with my drink.
“Red, you old con artist” I reply, “Is this a set-up?”
Red, serious as a heart attack, looks directly at me and replies, “Doctor Rock, absolutely not, it’s a genuine offer.”
He slides over a folder with some papers inside. “Here are the particulars.”
Reeling, I accept the folder. I open it and right after the corporate logos and legal bullshit, I see a tall figure with a whole raft of zeros trailing behind it.
I read furiously. The job would be both interesting and challenging. It would be in Houston, with travel and teaching at all other company outposts on a regular basis. I reexamine that figure from before and verify that I’m not now hallucinating.
The job comes with furnished, corporate-paid housing, incredible benefits, loads of opportunity for advancement, more opportunity to travel, really generous vacation time…
“Right. On the level?” I ask again.
“Yep.” Red bluntly says.
“Well”, I gulp, “you know I have to discuss this with Esme”, whom he’s met several times previous.
“Of course, and you probably want to finish out the semester, correct?” red asks.
“Oh, yes.” I reply. There would be a monsoon of paperwork and other grunt work I’d need to conclude or hand over if I were to accept this offer.
“OK, then”, Red finishes his drink, motions for me to do the same, a real rarity; but I was in another dimension at this point. He orders another round and sits back, waiting on a refill.
“You have two weeks to reply” Red states.
“I know that’s not a terribly long time, but we need to fill this position ASAP. Can I ask for that? Your answer, yea, or nay, within a fortnight?” Red demands.
“Yes”, I reply. “I at least owe you that.”
And that was the end of the discussion for the night about me joining the private sector. We stayed a few more hours, chatting, smoking my cigars, and discussing everything but the lumbering elephant in the room.
We part outside as I need to head back to our flat. Red wants to go downtown to one of those “Gentleman’s Clubs” he’s heard were so famous at the time.
I was flummoxed the whole cab ride home.
It was late when I returned, but I simply had to wake Es with the news.
“Rock, for pity’s sake, its 2 o’clock in the morning!” Es protests. “Can’t this wait until later?”
“Sorry, my dear” I reply, probably as serious as I ever had with Esme. “This is a potential game-changer.”
“What is it? Are you OK?” Esme trembles.
“Oh, I’m fine. Better than fine.” I reply.
She’s relieved.
“Then what’s so important?” she asks.
“Um…how would you like to move to Houston?” I ask.
“You going to teach at Cougar High (University of Houston)?” she inquires.
“Nope. Brace yourself. I’ve been offered a job with Nocono Oil.” I finally spill the beans.
Esme is slightly stunned and sits down.
I go to the wet bar, fix me a bracing potato juice and citrus and Esme a stiff white Zinfandel.
I hand her the wine and she is still semi-dazed and digesting the information.
I slurp a good portion of my drink, retrieve her Sobranjes and me a cigar from my Turkmenistan humidor.
I sit on the couch next to her and hug her soundly.
“Esme? Es? Earth to Es? You in there?” I joke.
“Oh, Yeah. Rock. Really? Hang on”, she leaves, returning with her housecoat as this might take a little time.
“So?” I ask, “Your thoughts. Now! Immediately! Initial reaction!” I try to jar her back into reality.
“Well, what do you want?” she asks.
“C’mon, my dearest. You know I hate that. No, what do you think? What do you honestly think?” I reply.
We both fire up our smokes, and I refresh our drinks. We return to the dinner table where Red’s folder lies.
“Es, here. Look at this.” I say, sliding the portfolio over to her.
She reads like a hungry man at a Vegas casino buffet. I can tell where she was stopped by something extraordinary.
“This is for real?” she asks, “Red’s not pulling a fast one?”
“Nope. It’s the genuine article”, I tell her, “He needs my reply within two weeks.”
“Rock, Rock…I just don’t know. It’s a lot to process at 0230 in the morning. Let’s go to bed and have a think in the morning. You have the luxury of at least that amount of time.” She notes.
“Right again, as usual”, I say, “Stuff it. It can wait.” We toddle off to bed.
The next morning, over Cuban omelets and Greenland Coffees, we sort through the particulars.
“Rock, it’s an extraordinary offer. But, do you want to leave teaching? I remember how you got all animated by Dean Vermiculari giving you the corporate liaison job and how that would improve your shot at tenure.” She notes.
“I just don’t know. I’m still shell-shocked.” I tell her. “Let me go to school and we’ll pick this up tonight. We both have work to do no matter what. Oh, bloody hell. I hadn’t considered your job. Another wrinkle in the mess.”
“Don’t you worry about that”, Esme smiles. “One catastrophe at a time.”
“I do so love you.” I hug her soundly. “Think I should mention this offer to anyone at school?”
“No. Definitely not.” Esme shakes her head. “Let’s figure this out on our own.”
“I agree”, I say, kiss her and depart for school once again.
The next week was a blur. Recruiting duties were dragging and I was being preoccupied.
Even my students noted the lack of in-room explosions lately.
I spend the next Saturday at the quarry, doing some small amount of blasting. I quiz the quarry owners about their progress in acquiring a new master for the quarry’s operation.
“Oh, Doctor Rock” they gush, “You’re doing such a fine job, we haven’t really looked. Why do you ask?”
“No particular reason at this time, I reply, “But perhaps you might want to begin looking”
The chinks in my armor were finally starting to show.
Sunday was spent out on Sliver Lake, with Esme and me chasing the elusive crappie, perch, and bucketmouth bass. It also gave us a chance to clear our heads from work, school and other such intrusions. We both needed a bit of downtime.
Later that night, after a meal of beer-battered fillet of crappie and perch on the barbie, we sit down at the dinner table.
The portfolio sits there, taunting us.
I get up, makes us both our drinks, sit down and declare that this is it.
“Es, darling” I say, “its nut-cuttin’ time. We need to make our decision.”
“You’re right.” Es agrees, “Time for risk-reward analysis. Get some paper and some pencils.”
We spend the next few hours listing the pros and cons of accepting the Houston position or staying here and pursuing my tenured professorship.
After several hours, I stretch, stand, and go to the fridge. I retrieve the bottle of Bollinger Les Vieilles Vignes Francaises I had purchased the other day.
I return to the table with the wine and the glasses, pop the cork and pour us both a glass of high-brow bubble water.
I hug and kiss Esme like I had just returned from a long, solo expedition.
“Esme, my darling. I’d like to propose a toast. First to us. Hа здоровый!”
“Cheers!” Esme replies.
“Secondly to Red, Dean Vermiculari, the quarry guys, Polack the Cop, and all the others that makes our life weird around here.”
“Seconded”, Es echoes.
“Finally: to Houston, Texas. Our new home!” I finally add.
The next morning, Dean Vermiculari peers over the top of his pince-nez glasses. He’s not looking overly happy with me right now.
“Why is it, Doctor, that everyone that receives the job of corporate liaison ends up going with corporate?” he asks.
“Perhaps it’s just the exposure to another world that exists beyond academia.” I reply, truthfully.
“Doctor Rocknocker,” the Dean gravely states, “I am not at all happy about your decision. We had great hopes for you here and you were riding right up the tenure track. Another five years and it would have been assured.”
“Five years is a long time, Dean”, I state the obvious.
“Yes, indeed.” The Dean replies frostily. “However, you are young. Perhaps you need to get this private sector nonsense out of your system, then you can return to academia where you belong.”
“Perhaps, perhaps”, I reply.
“Please, do consider this option down the road. You and your antics will be missed here, by students and faculty alike.” He says.
“I will, Dean, I promise.” I reply “However, for now, it’s time for my boot heels to be wanderin’.”
“Doctor, I will miss your strange and unique way of looking at life. I reluctantly accept your resignation at the end of the current semester and wish you all the best in your newest endeavors. Please remember us when corporate support for academia is mentioned in your new company.” he says.
“I promise you, Dean, I will not forget what I’ve learned here and what you’ve taught. It’s the least I can do,” I reply. “I will never forget my roots.”
“All I can ask”, he concludes. He stands to shake my hand. We shake and my audience is over.
I resign from the quarry a week later. They haven’t found a new blaster but wish me well on my new journey. I tell them I’m here until the end of the semester, so I won’t leave them high and dry.
I tell Polack the Cop about all the goings-on.
“Who the hell can I roust for beer and cigars now?” He whines. “Let me know when you get to Texas if they need any cops. I wouldn’t mind trying’ that. Hell, maybe a Texas Ranger!”
“A Cheesehead Ranger…?” I assure him I will and pass a box of cigars to him as a parting gift. He gives me a mayoral-signed get-out-of-jail-free card.
“Now you can drive that old Harley just as crazy as you want.” He chuckles.
“Thanks, Polack.” I say, shaking his hand. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I sold my bike a week earlier.
Red was very chuffed with the news.
“Snagged me a big one this time!’ He laughed, over the phone.
There was enough paperwork, considerations and decisions to be made to last the remaining time Esme and I had in-state until our move. Already, a moving company had arrived, done inventory, and was preparing for our move to Houston.
Esme resigned her position and decided she wanted to take some time off. She wanted to be a housewife, a colleague, and not have to work for once at an outside job. My new position allowed for that in spades. Besides with her credentials, anytime when she wants to re-join the workforce, there are myriad opportunities in the Bayou City.
We made the choice of housing out west of town, in Katy, Texas. We could have chosen Sugarland, Addicks, Greenspoint, Greenway, or the Memorial area. However, these west Houston company properties were closest to the job and largest in square footage.
My students got wind of my resignation and relocation. They threw me an unexpected farewell party at the Gast Haus. It was nickel-beer night and since they were footing the bill, it all worked out just fine.
I would miss the old place. The camaraderie, the seasons, the university; hell my home these last many years. I’ve been on many, many expeditions, but I always returned home.
Now, home was moving and was awaiting our arrival.
Esme and I said our farewells to our families as well. We were the first through college, the first ones to travel international, the first Doctor in the family, and the first to leave the state.
That’s a lot of familial firsts.
I had to keep reminding everyone it wouldn’t be the last. Hell, we’re just moving to Texas, it’s not like we’re off to Greenland or Mongolia…
[Gasp]
We saddled up Es’s old Chevy Nova, took one last, lingering look in the rearview mirror, and said fare thee well to our previous lives.
“We’ll be back. Someday. I promise” I told the city of our youth and young married adulthood.
We decided to drive to Houston because we had the luxury of a bit of time. We needed the stretch to chew over some interpersonal and private things on the way to the next chapter in our lives. Besides, the weather was good, the roads ahead open and clear, and Texas had no ‘Open Container’ law, yet.
We pointed the old Nova south and hit the gas.
A week later, we’re wandering around our new house in Katy, Texas. Our belongings, scant though they may be, arrived the day after we did. Esme and I spent the next couple of day rearranging the house, buying necessary domestic bits and pieces, and getting to know our new neighborhood.
First thing, though, Esme wanted to replace the old Nova. I concurred, but insisted we keep it as a second car and went out to purchase our first new car as a couple.
I wanted a Land Rover. We ended up with a glossy black Toyota 4-Runner. Close enough.
I was scheduled to show up at my new job the next Monday.
I had my own parking spot, complete with “Reserved for Dr. Rock” painted on the bumper block. I was shown my new lab and was introduced to my seven laboratory assistants. I was shown the catalogs I could use to order what I needed and went over the requisition procedures.
I was trotted around to meet the company CEO, CFO, CIO, VPs and many, many more company executives and managers. I’ve met with presidents and heads of state, I was impressed but not overly. They seemed like a more or less nice bunch of chaps.
Almost exactly five weeks to the day from our arrival in Houston, I come home, yelling “Darling, I’m home!”
Esme comes to greet me with a rib-rearranging hug. She tells me to sit at the dinner table, where my long hard day at the office drink, cigar, ashtray, and lighter are already set.
“How was work, dear?” she asks, sitting down with her Perrier water.
“Oh, it’s going great. The knotheads let me have an open-ended budget until I get the labs sorted just the way I want it. These guys pay their bills on time and I have carte blanche at Wards Scientific, and other supply houses. My crew is great, no interpersonal crapola, and hard workers. I can smoke in my office and no one dares give me shit about my cigars. I’m getting to know the exploration department quite well. They’re really interested in our expeditions and are more interested in my opinions of their new exploration directives.”
Esme just smiles and sips her water.
“Odd”, I thought.
“That’s great, dear.” She says. “I am so glad to hear it.”
“Me too”, I say, “How are you holding up after all these weeks alone?”
“Oh, I’m getting used to it.” She smiles.
And smiles. Beatifically. Glowing.
“What?” I ask.
“Remember what we talked about in the car on the way down here?” She asks.
“We talked about a lot of things…” I say, suddenly my eyes grew very, very wide indeed.
“Yes. You’re going to be a father. I’m pregnant, Rock.” Esme smiles.

This is my third list for this sub. I hope you enjoy it.
ART THIEVES, FORGERS, SMUGGLERS.
The Art of the Steal by Christopher Mason. A true story about the auction houses Sotheby’s and Christie’s and how they conspired to cheat their clients out of millions of dollars.
The Billionaire’s Vinegar: The Mystery of the World’s Most Expensive Bottle of Wine by Benjamin Wallace. The most expensive bottle of wine and the conflicting reports about its history. This is a book that would enchant wine conessi… conues… lovers.
The Gardner Heist: The True Story of the World’s Largest Unsolved Art Theft by Ulrich Boser. Author Ulrich Boser looks at the unsolved art theft case of Boston’s Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum.
The Golden Spruce: A True Story of Myth, Madness, and Greed by John Vaillant. Grant Hadwin, a logger-turned-activist, fells a unique 165 feet Sitka spruce in an act of protest. John Vaillant takes the readers into the heart of North America’s last great forest to find out why he did that.
Hitler’s Art Thief: Hildebrand Gurlitt, the Nazis, and the Looting of Europe’s Treasures by Susan Ronald. Hildebrand Gurlitt was an art thief, or as he put it himself, an ‘official dealer’ for Hitler and Goebbels. But he stole from the Jews and Nazis alike. This book was published after his hoard was recently (2013) discovered which created an international furor.
The Irish Game: A True Story of Crime and Art by Matthew Hart. This book is about the art theft at Ireland’s Russborough House in 1986. The suspect, a gangster named Martin Cahill, played cat and mouse with police for years.
The Island of Lost Maps: A True Story of Cartographic Crime by Miles Harvey. When you think about stealing some valuable art, do maps come to your mind? Then this book is for you. Gilbert Joseph Bland Jr. stole numerous centuries-old maps from research libraries in US and Canada.
I Was Vermeer: The Rise and Fall of the Twentieth Century’s Greatest Forger by Frank Wynne. Han van Meegeren became so much adapt at forging Vermeer paintings that it is said that even professional experts would find it difficult to point out his works from the originals. He earned more than $50 million by selling his forgeries – and he even swindled the Nazis.
The Lizard King: The True Crimes and Passions of the World’s Greatest Reptile Smugglers by Bryan Christy. Reptile smuggling is a big “business”. The author, a federal agent, suspected a reptile business owner of being a major smuggler and he started investigating. It was not as simple as it sounds because at one point he was chased by a mother alligator and even bitten by a python.
The Lost Chalice: The Epic Hunt for a Priceless Masterpiece by Vernon Silver. A 2500 year old cup made by the Greek master Euphronios which depicted the fall of Troy gets stolen and sold (along with 3 other such vessels). Then due to the questionable practice of some art dealers, no one can track down its last known owner.
The Lost Painting by Jonathan Harr. With nothing better to do, the author embarks on a journey to discover a Caravaggio painting which was lost to time two hundred years ago.
The Man Who Loved Books Too Much: The True Story of a Thief, a Detective, and a World of Literary Obsession by Allison Hoover Bartlett. John Charles Gilkey stole rare books not because he wanted to make profit as most thieves do, but because he loved books. I guess if you want to call yourself a book-reader but don’t actually want to say… read a book, you could just steal them and show them off to your friends. But who are we to question the wisdom of “booklovers”, right?
The Orchid Thief: A True Story of Beauty and Obsession by Susan Orlean. If you thought that stealing maps is a weird “job” to have, how about stealing a rare breed of flower? We all know about the Tulipomania that gripped Netherlands in the 1630s. But this is a modern tale, and the book is perhaps one of the most popular ones on this list.
Priceless: How I Went Undercover to Rescue the World’s Stolen Treasures by Robert K. Wittman, John Shiffman. This book is about Robert K. Wittman, FBI’s founder of the Art Crime Team and his undercover missions around the world to rescue various pieces of stolen art.
Provenance: How a Con Man and a Forger Rewrote the History of Modern Art by Laney Salisbury. You could have a Jackson Pollock lying around in your basement, but if you can’t prove that the piece is real, you might as well use it as a table cloth (I might have exaggerated there a bit, but you get the point). John Myatt, a struggling artist, and John Drewe, a conman who knew the importance of Provenance in the art world, duped many people and museums by creating a fake paper trial that seemed to prove that the art was a real thing and not a forgery. So much so that the experts believe that there might still be some fake paintings created by Myatt displayed in prominent places as the real thing.
The Rescue Artist: A True Story of Art, Thieves, and the Hunt for a Missing Masterpiece by Edward Dolnick. Dolnick writes about the theft of Edvard Munch’s The Scream from the National Gallery in Oslo in 1994 and the subsequent investigation that took place to track it down.
Selling Hitler by Robert Harris In mid-eighties, Hitler’s diaries were “discovered” and many experts fell for the con. The backpeddling many did when it was revealed that the diaries were not real is really amusing to read about.
Shell Games: Rogues, Smugglers, and the Hunt for Nature’s Bounty by Craig Welch. This book is about the poaching of a larger-than-life clam – a Geoduck, to be precise, and the subsequent chase from the wildlife police to nab the poacher.
Stealing History: Tomb Raiders, Smugglers and the Looting of the Ancient World by Roger Atwood. This book provides a sweeping history of thefts of various priceless antiques.
Stealing the Mystic Lamb: The True Story of the World’s Most Coveted Masterpiece by Noah Charney. The twelve panel oil-painting of the Mystic Lamb is the most frequently stolen artwork in the world. It was stolen 13 times. One wonders whether they could have guarded it a little better after the first couple of times, you know. Anyway, this book describes the events of each theft.
Stolen World: A Tale of Reptiles, Smugglers, and Skulduggery by Jennie Erin Smith. Two reptile smugglers compete against each other to conquer the illegal trade for themselves. The funny thing is, the Zoos stood against them in the courts, but they had no problem buying rare fauna from the two smugglers, sometimes simultaneously.
Tangled Vines: Greed, Murder, Obsession, and an Arsonist in the Vineyards of California by Frances Dinkelspiel. A massive fire destroyed wines worth $250 million in a California warehouse, making it the largest destruction of wine in history. It was done by a conman named Mark Anderson, who rented storage space at the same warehouse. This book tells why he did that and also goes into the surprisingly bloody history of wine trade in California. (reads well with cranberry juice).
Vanished Smile: The Mysterious Theft of Mona Lisa by R. A. Scotti. On August 21, 1911, a man walked out of the Louvre with the Mona Lisa tucked inside his coat (should have painted it bigger, eh Vinci?). I am not going to spoil this book for anyone. Read it if you want to know whether Mona Lisa was recovered or was lost to time forever.
CARTELS, GANGS, UNDERWORLD.
American Desperado: My Life --- From Mafia Soldier to Cocaine Cowboy to Secret Government Asset by Jon Roberts, Evan Wright. Jon Roberts, who starred in documentary Cocaine Cowboys tells his story to the journalist Evan Wright in this book. Roberts smuggled drugs to Miami for the Medellin Cartel (which will feature many times in this category).
At the Devil’s Table: The Untold Story of the Insider Who Brought Down the Cali Cartel by William C. Rempel. This is Narcos Season 3, basically. Remember the family guy who gets involved with the Cali Cartel and mops around for the whole season even though he had an unbelievably hot wife who was clearly out of his league? That character was based on Rempel. And if I must say so, the book is more compelling than that season of Narcos. Nothing can beat Agent Pena, though.
Black Mass: The True Story of an Unholy Alliance Between the FBI and the Irish Mob by Dick Lehr, Gerard O’Neill. The story of James ‘Whitey’ Bulger – the head of the Irish Mob in Boston - who became an informant for the FBI and chaos ensued. Depp plays Whitey Bulger in the movie adaptation with a soggy tortilla glued to his face as make-up.
Blow: How a Small -Town Bay Made $100 Million with the Medellin Cocaine Cartel and Lost it All by Bruce Porter. Another book where Johnny Depp plays the main character in the movie adaptation. This book is about George Jung, who after meeting Carlos Lehder, started selling cocaine in the United States through Medellin Cartel.
Cocaine Diaries: A Venezuelan Prison Nightmare by Paul Keany, Jeff Farrell. Paul Keany was caught smuggling half-a-million euro worth of cocaine into Venezuela. He was sentenced to 8 years in prison. Now, prisons everywhere aren’t exactly fun places to be, but Los Teques where Keany was incarcerated was nothing short of hell on earth.
Confessions of a Yakuza by Junichi Saga. Junichi Saga was a doctor by profession. A patient, who was a former Yakuza, recounted his life story before him. Saga recorded the conversations, and broke doctor-patient confidentiality by writing this book.
Doctor Dealer: The Rise and Fall of an All-American Boy and His Multimillion-Dollar Cocaine Empire by Mark Bowden. A dentist named Larry Lavin builds the foundation for a cocaine empire in the United States.
Donnie Brasco by Joseph D. Pistone, Richard Woodley. Joseph D. Pistone, an FBI agent, goes undercover for six years to infiltrate the Mafia. Do watch the movie too, it is Depp’s last movie without weird make-up.
El Narco: Inside Mexico’s Criminal Insurgency by Ioan Grillo. Journalist Ioan Grillo has written, arguably, the definitive book on Mexican drug cartels. Why he is still alive is anybody’s guess.
Gang Leader for a Day: A Rogue Sociologist Takes to the Streets by Sudhir Venkatesh. Venkatesh, who was a sociology grad student at the time, infiltrated one of Chicago’s most notorious gangs. This is one of a kind type of book.
Gomorrah by Roberto Saviano. This book is about the Italian Crime Network called Camorra in Naples, Italy. Due to his intensive investigative journalism which exposed lot of insider information about the crime syndicate, author Saviano still has to live under constant police protection.
The Good Mothers: The True Story of the Women Who Took on the World’s Most Powerful Mafia by Alex Perry. This is a recent book, where the author Alex Perry looks inside the ruthless Calabrian Mafia of Italy and three women who want to save their own and their children’s lives. This is a fascinating and courageous look into an aspect of the Mafia which is often overlooked by most.
Hunting El Chapo: The Inside Story of the American Lawman Who Captured the World’s Most Wanted Drug-Lord by Andrew Hogan, Douglas Century. Remember when Joaquin Guzman was caught for the first time and then he escaped and then he was caught again for good? Yes? Then read this one. But this book only focuses on the operation that nabbed him for the first time. I must warn you though – the author, Andrew Hogan – is really really in love with himself and it seeps into his writing.
The Infiltrator: My Secret Life Inside the Dirty Banks Behind Pablo Escobar’s Medellin Cartel by Robert Mazur. Mazur went undercover and actually became a money launderer for Pablo Escobar. This book is more about how bankers actively helped to launder the drug money and how Mazur helped to bring them down.
Killing Pablo: The Hunt for the World’s Greatest Outlaw by Mark Bowden. This is the best book about tracking and eventually killing Pablo Escobar. And as Walter Jr. pointed out to Walter White, it focuses on the good guys, not the bad ones. Good companion book to Pablo Escobar: My Father written by Escobar’s son.
Marching Powder: A True Story of Friendship, Cocaine, and South America’s Strangest Jail by Rusty Young. The author stays inside San Pedro jail for months with a drug smuggler to chronicle his tale. This is one of the most popular books written on cocaine smuggling.
McMafia: A Journey Through the Global Criminal Underworld by Misha Glenny. This is a thorough investigation into organized crime worldwide which accounts for 1/5th of total GDP of the world. This book would please readers who are into extensively researched true-crime history books, not so much a casual reader (inb4 - I just read 5 pages of McMafia and wow… just wow).
Mr. Blue: Memoirs of a Renegade by Edward Bunker. Edward Bunker had had an eventful life. Incarceration for two and a half decades, being on FBI’s most wanted list, and being a crime novelist. This is his autobiography.
Mr. Nice by Howard Marks. Howard Marks started dealing dope in small quantities while he was studying at Oxford – as you do – and then eventually graduated to dealing it in tons (what the hell was he studying there? Oh, philosophy). This is his fascinating story.
Narcoland: The Mexican Drug Lords and Their Godfathers by Anabel Hernandez. Yet another book that resulted in the author getting death threats. This proves the old cliché true that the pen is mightier than the sword; until the sword comes down and cuts your neck. That’s why the author has to live under constant protection.
Narconomics: How to Run a Drug Cartel by Tom Wainwright. Any aspiring drug lords should read this instruction manual. Just kidding. Wainwright goes deep into the functioning of various drug cartels and at the end also comes up with a plan to defeat them.
News of a Kidnapping by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Little known author tries his hand at true-crime. Pablo Escobar kidnapped 10 journalists when he was on the run from the authorities. This book revolves around that event.
The Night it Rained Guns: Unravelling the Purulia Arms Drop Conspiracy by Chandan Nandy. On a December night in 1995, someone airdropped three weapons-laden wooden pallets over Purulia, West Bengal. Who did it and why? This book tells the story about one of India’s greatest ever security breaches.
No Angel: My Undercover Journey to the Inner Circle of the Hells Angels by Jay Dobyns, Nils Johnson-Shelton. Dobyns was the first federal agent to infiltrate the inner circle of the notorious biker gang. This is his story.
Pablo Escobar: My Father by Juan Pablo Escobar. Juan Pablo is an architect and lives and practices his trade in Argentina. Even though Pablo was his father, Juan does not try to justify his actions even a little bit. This is one of the best books written on Pablo Escobar.
The Snakehead: An Epic Tale of the Chinatown Underworld and the American Dream by Patrick Radden Keefe. Sister Ping, leader of the Chinese underworld in the US, earned $40 million a year smuggling people from China. Told from the viewpoints of gangsters, investigators, and poor immigrants alike, this book provides a unique window into the world of human smuggling.
Scores: How I Opened the Hottest Strip Club in New York City, Was Extorted out of Millions by the Gambino Family, and Became One of the Most Successful Mafia Informants in FBI History by Michael D. Blutrich. I am disappointed that they went with FBI instead of Federal Bureau of Investigation in the title. Should have made it longer. Scores: How I Opened the Hottest Strip Club in New York City on the 34th Street Just Opposite the Starbucks, Was Extorted out of 4.54 Millions and 55 Cents Plus Taxes by the Gambino Family, and Became One of the Most Successful Mafia Informants in Federal Bureau of Investigation History by Michael Dostoyevsky Blutrich
Tokyo Vice: An American Reporter on the Police Beat in Japan by Jake Adelstein. The author, working as a reporter in Japan, writes about the seedy underbelly of crime in the country.
The Untouchables by Eliot Ness, Oscar Fraley. Where’s Nitty? He’s in the car. Great movie. How Eliot Ness and his team started the downward spiral in criminal career of Al Capone. A somewhat embellished account was also written in the book, but nonetheless, it is a gripping tale.
Veerappan: Chasing the Brigand by K. Vijay Kumar. Koose Muniswamy Veerappan was the last big outlaw of India. A sandalwood smuggler who lived in the forest to evade the police, Veerappan killed hundreds of policemen and civilians. K. Vijay Kumar, the officer who led the task force that ultimately brought down the brigand, is the author of this book.
Wiseguy: Life in a Mafia Family by Nicholas Pileggi. I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? Goodfellas is perhaps the best Mafia movie ever made, so read it in his own words why Pileggi might fold under questioning.
Zero Zero Zero by Roberto Saviano, Virginia Jewiss. This Saviano guy must have a death wish. But as a handsome list-writer once eloquently said, “If bitten already by a King Cobra, what difference it makes if you French kiss a Black Mamba?” Since the publication of his book on the Italian crime syndicate, Saviano has to live under constant police protection. So to make sure they don’t slack off, he wrote a book on Cocaine Cartel, this time acquiring lots of admirers in Latin America.
CONMEN, IMPOSTORS.
The Art of Making Money: The Story of a Master Counterfeiter by Jason Kersten. The Art of making money is to make other people work for you; not the other way round. But more scrupulous method of making money would be to counterfeit it. Art Williams did exactly that.
Catch Me If You Can: The True Story of a Real Fake by Frank W. Abagnale. Maybe the most popular book on this list, Abagnale Jr.’s book is not to be missed even if you have watched the movie starring the actor who had sex with a bear (no, not Tormund).
Charlatan: America’s Most Dangerous Huckster, the Man Who Pursued Him, and the Age of Flimflam by Pope Brock. One “Dr.” John R. Brinkley, set-up a medical practice to surgically insert goat glands in human testicles to restore their fading sex drive. I am not joking, this happened.
Conman: A Master Swindler’s Own Story by J. R. Weil, W. T. Brannon. Known as “Yellow Kid” Weil was a master conman, who duped public of more than $8 million 100 years ago. He’s called by many as the greatest conman of all time (second to the companies that charge service fees on the internet, of course).
Eyeing the Flash: The Making of a Carnival Con Artist by Peter Fenton. Fenton was a math student until he turned into a carnival con artist. How many bananas he stole from the monkeys? How many bales of potatoes from the elephants? Read this book to find out.
Inconvenient People: Lunacy, Liberty and the Mad-Doctors in Victorian England by Sarah Wise. If you have any annoying friends who romanticize the Victorian era and say that they would have liked to live there, tell them to read this book and get back to you after that.
The Man in the Rockefeller Suit: The Astonishing Rise and Spectacular Fall of a Serial Impostor by Mark Seal. This is the true story of one of the greatest impostors of all time. The man could have impersonated a chihuahua if he wanted to.
The Man Who Sold the Eiffel Tower by James Francis Johnson. Viktor Lustig sold the Eiffel Tower not once, but twice. I still have the relevant papers that my great grandfather left us. I’m going to shift it to Nauru or Detroit.
The Mark Inside: A Perfect Swindle, a Cunning Revenge, and a Small History of the Big Con by Amy Reading. This is a revenge story of a man who sets out to con the conmen who conned him twice. Unfortunately, the book could have been written better, but it is still worth having a look at.
Playing Dead: A Journey Through the World of Death Fraud by Elizabeth Greenwood. I once tried playing dead in a meeting when asked about the progress on my project. But there are people who fake their death for lesser gains, such as insurance fraud and debt fraud. Author Elizabeth Greenwood journeys into the dark world of death fraud to find out more.
Ponzi’s Scheme: The True Story of a Financial Legend by Mitchell Zuckoff. Charles Ponzi was so successful in duping people that we have immortalized his name by terming such swindles after him. At one point, he was raking in $2 millions a week. How many weeks would it take you to earn 2 million dollars at your current income? (sorry, that got heavy fast. It hurt me too).
A Rum Affair: A True Story of Botanical Fraud by Karl Sabbagh. One botanist claimed that some species of plants on the islands south of Scotland survived the last Ice Age. Another botanist doubted him. This might not sound like a big fraud if you are not into plants, but believe me when I say that the 2 botanists who just read this threw their phones away in disgust and disbelief.
Starvation Heights: A True Story of Murder and Malice in the Woods of the Pacific Northwest by Gregg Olsen. A quack doctor named Linda Hazard developed a technique called “fasting treatment”. The story focuses on two sisters who fell for the quack’s assurances that they would be cured of all the diseases - real or imagined. This book is quite infuriating to read. Hazard was a despicable human being.
Swindled: From Poison Sweets to Counterfeit Coffee – The Dark History of the Food Cheats by Bee Wilson. Wilson looks from ancient Rome to current times for food frauds. And she finds them aplenty (companion read - while having a nice snack).
A Treasury of Deception: Liars, Misleaders, Hoodwinkers, and the Extraordinary True Stories of History’s Greatest Hoaxes, Fakes and Frauds by Michael Farquhar. This is a good bathroom book about fakers through history.
The Woman Who Wasn’t There: The True Story of an Incredible Deception by Robin Gaby Fisher, Angelo J. Guglielmo Jr. Have you heard about Tania Head? If you haven’t, I urge you to skip this book. Tania Head duped survivors of 9/11 and the whole world alike into believing that she was one of the survivors from the South Tower of World Trade Center. I feel enraged just by typing this. So just read this book if you want to know more about her. There are a couple of documentaries out there too.
HACKERS.
The Cuckoo’s Egg: Tracking a Spy Through the Maze of Computer Espionage by Clifford Stoll. Long before internet became a place for cat memes, Cliff Stoll was working at a research lab as a systems manager. One day he found 75 cents of accounting error. This made him alert that an unauthorized person was logging into the system. Thus began his lone effort of tracking down the spy.
Exploding the Phone: The Untold Story of the Teenagers and Outlaws Who Hacked Ma Bell by Phil Lapsley. Before there was internet, or even personal computers, mobsters and teenagers hacked the telephone system.
Ghost in the Wires: My Adventures as the World’s Most Wanted Hacker by Kevin D. Mitnick, William L. Simon. The book tells the story of one of the best hackers of all times, Kevin Mitnick, and his cat and mouse game with the FBI.
The Spider Network: The Wild Story of a Math Genius, a Gang of Backstabbing Bankers, and One of the Greatest Scams in Financial History by David Enrich. A group of bankers manipulated daily interest rates just a fraction here and there on loans worth trillions of dollars and made some serious cash for themselves. This book also rocks one of the ugliest book covers of 2017.
MUTINEERS, PIRATES, OUTLAWS.
Batavia’s Graveyard: The True Story of the Mad Heretic Who Led History’s Bloodiest Mutiny by Mike Dash. I was torn whether to include this book in the list as the history of Batavia’s mutiny is littered with corpses. But as the focus is on the mutiny, I am going to keep it here. This event could give the Medusa’s raft a run for its money.
The Floating Brothel: The Extraordinary True Story of an Eighteenth-Century Ship and its Cargo of Female Convicts by Sian Rees. Poor girls in England, most of who were petty thieves, were given a chance to sail to Botany Bay in Australia to create a new life for themselves and the male population of New South Wales. But the real story happened at the sea on board the ship Lady Julian.
The Last Outlaws: The Lives and Legends of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid by Thom Hatch. Butch: What happened to the old bank? It was beautiful. Guard: People kept robbing it. Butch: Small price to pay for beauty. The book might not be full of memorable dialogues as the movie, but if you want to know more about the legendary outlaws, give this book a chance.
Lost Paradise: From Mutiny on the Bounty to a Modern-Day Legacy of Sexual Mayhem, the Dark Secrets of Pitcairn Island Revealed by Kathy Marks. Mutiny of the Bounty is perhaps the most infamous of mutinies that occurred at sea. Even after the event and hundreds of years later, the descendants of Fletcher Christian and his sailors continue to live a crime-filled life like their forefathers on Pitcairn Island.
The Pirate Hunter: The True Story of Captain Kidd by Richard Zacks. This book will change your perception of Captain Kidd, that’s for sure.
To Hell on a Fast Horse: Billy the Kid, Pat Garrett, and the Epic Chase to Justice in the Old West by Mark Lee Gardner. This non-fiction book concentrates on Sheriff Pat Garrett’s chase in pursuit of the bandit Billy the Kid. If you like reading westerns, this one and The Last Outlaws are not to be missed.
Under the Black Flag: The Romance and the Reality of Life Among the Pirates by David Cordingly. Cordingly takes a look at life among the pirates. Some of your romanticism would be squashed, but there were some good things about being a pirate too. Life among the pirates was neither black nor white; it was beige.
POLITICAL CRIMES
Arms and the Dudes: How Three Stoners from Miami Beach Became the Most Unlikely Gunrunners in History by Guy Lawson. Three kids won a 300 million dollar contract – legitimately – I must add, to supply ammunition to the Afghanistan military. They had no money, but still they almost pulled it off. I don’t know, read this book, and if you’re a US citizen, visit the websites mentioned in the book, see if they are still doing business the same way, and if you want, you can become a supplier to the army too. Don’t forget to send me my cut (the movie War Dogs was trash).
The Brother: The Untold Story of Atomic Spy David Greenglass and How He Sent His Sister, Ethel Rosenberg, to the Electric Chair by Sam Roberts. Even if you’re not a United Statian of American (USians?), chances are you might have read at least something about the execution of the Rosenberg couple as spies. This is probably the best book about the subject.
Curveball: Spies, Lies, and the Man Behind Them: How America Went to War in Iraq by Bob Drogin. How many weapons of mass destruction were found in Iraq? If your answer is “what’s that?” then congratulations, you’re not unlike one of your former presidents. Who told the USians that there were WMDs with Saddam? Curveball.
The Confessions of an Economic Hitman by John Perkins. Perkins was an economic hitman, who at the instruction of US intelligence agencies and giant corporations cajoled and blackmailed other country leaders to serve US foreign policy and award lucrative contracts to American businesses (now that job has been transferred to the White House).
A Kim Jong – Il Production: The Extraordinary True Story of a Kidnapped Filmmaker, His Star Actress, and a Young Dictator’s Rise to Power by Paul Fischer. Say you want to make a big movie for your country. But there is no one in your country who can handle such an ambitious project. What do you do? Hire some talent from other country? But you’re Kim Jong – Il. Oh. Then you just kidnap them, and force them to make the glorious movie of yours. Read this book. It’s pretty absurd (the movie they eventually made for Kim was utter shit. The Room would look like Gone with the Wind compared to that abomination).
The Nuclear Jihadist: The True Story of the Man Who Sold the World’s Most Dangerous Secrets… And How We Could Have Stopped Him by Douglas Frantz, Catherine Collins. One day a man Abdul Qadeer Khan caught a plane to Pakistan from Europe. With him he had blueprints of the mechanism that could prepare weapons grade Uranium that he had stolen from the lab he worked at in the last 3 years. He would make the first atomic bomb for Pakistan with that information. Then he sold the tech to stable countries like Iran, North Korea and Libya. How can someone get away with stealing such powerful information? Read this book to find out.
Operation Paperclip: The Secret Intelligence Program that Brought Nazi Scientists to America by Annie Jacobsen. This is a pretty controversial topic that has only gained wider acknowledgement in recent decades. Read this book to know in detail how bogus the claims of justice being served to the perpetrators of the Holocaust were. Basically, if you were a scientist, you were very likely to be acquitted from any War Crimes allegations.
The Real Odessa: How Peron Brought the Nazi War Criminals to Argentina by Uki Goni. How did most of the Nazis who managed to escape from Germany ended up in South America? Read about the collusion of various entities and institutions that made it possible in this book.
The Spy Who Couldn’t Spell: A Dyslexic Traitor, an Unbreakable Code, and the FBI’s Hunt for America’s Stolen Secrets by Yudhijit Bhattacharjee. This is the true story of a mole in FBI, how he attempted to sell classified information and how FBI tried to track him down.
ROBBERIES, HEISTS.
Ballad of the Whiskey Robber: A True Story of Bank Heists, Ice Hockey, Transylvanian Pelt Smuggling, Moonlighting Detectives, and Broken Hearts by Julian Rubinstein. If there is one thief in this list that I admire, it is without a doubt, Attila Ambrus. Ambrus was known as a gentleman thief, who would ask – no, request - the teller to fill his bag with money. If you read this book, it would be hard for you to dislike Attila even though he was a thief.
Confessions of a Master Jewel Thief by Bill Mason, Lee Gruenfeld. Bill Mason looted many famous personalities in his long career as a jewel thief. In this book he tells how he did it.
The Feather Thief: Beauty, Obsession, and the Natural History Heist of the Century by Kirk W. Johnson. Do you know there are people whose hobby is fly tying? The feathery thing that you attach to the hook to catch fish? But these are not your average fly tiers. They use feathers from exotic birds to create different ties whose total cost could run in thousands of dollars. Moreover, many of the most coveted birds are either protected or extinct. So one night a man named Edwin Rist broke into Tring museum and took hundreds of bird skins, some that belonged to Darwin, to fuel his hobby and even getting rich by selling precious feathers to other tiers. Don’t miss this book.
Finders Keepers: The Story of a Man Who Found $1 Million by Mark Bowden. Who hasn’t dreamt of finding a big bag of money? It couldn’t have happened to a more clueless person. Joey Coyle, to be exact.
Flawless: Inside the Largest Diamond Heist in History by Scott Andrew Selby. The theft from Antwerp that still raises many questions.
Go Down Together: The True, Untold Story of Bonnie and Clyde by Jeff Guinn. The truth is not that romantic.
The Great Pearl Heist: London’s Greatest Thief and Scotland Yard’s Hunt for the World’s Most Valuable Necklace by Molly Caldwell Crosby. Pearls, more valuable than the Hope Diamond, are stolen by thieves in Edwardian London.
The Great Train Robbery by Michael Crichton. My favorite Crichton book. Stealing gold from a running train! Watch the movie too that stars the great Sean Connery.
Heist: The Oddball Crew Behind the $17 Million Loomis Fargo Theft by Jeff Diamant. How hard is it to steal 17 million dollars? As far as these thieves were concerned, not much. Getting away with it was another thing altogether. The movie was pretty average, I think.
Into the Blast: The True Story of DB Cooper by Skipp Porteous, Robert Blevins. Is Tommy Wiseau DB Cooper? If only that was true. Read the book but don’t expect any clear-cut answers (I think most people would agree that the clumsy bastard died after he jumped from the plane).
A Pickpocket’s Tale: The Underworld of Nineteenth-Century New York by Timothy J. Gilfoyle. True story of George Appo, a pickpocket living in nineteenth-century New York.
Sex on the Moon: The Amazing Story Behind the Most Audacious Heist in History by Ben Mezrich. A guy steals moon rocks from NASA and then had sex on them with his girlfriend (how the hell is that comfortable?)
The Stranger in the Woods: The Extraordinary Story of the Last True Hermit by Michael Finkel. The last hermit was not a hermit in true sense. He didn’t rely on land to feed himself. He stole from the nearby community. Before someone says I have spoiled the book for them, it is revealed in the first chapter that he is a thief.
WHITE COLLAR CRIMES.
Bad Blood: Secrets and Lies in a Silicon Valley Startup by John Carreyrou. The Steve Jobs impersonator, Elizabeth Holmes, CEO of Theranos, and her old boyfriend, Sunny, are some of the most vile people that I have come across while reading about corporate crime. This is one of the best books that I have read this year.
Den of Thieves by James B. Stewart. This is probably the most famous book written about those Wall Street scoundrels.
Empire of Deception: The Incredible Story of a Master Swindler Who Seduced a City and Captivated the Nation by Dean Jobb. The story of Leo Koretz, who created one of the longest running Ponzi schemes in the 1920s Chicago.
The Informant by Kurt Eichenwald. Mark Whitacre becomes an FBI informant against his own corporation. But as time goes by, the FBI starts to realize that Mark is not as truthful as he seems to be, and he has his own agenda (they made a movie with Matt Damon).
Octopus: Sam Israel, the Secret Market, and Wall Street’s Wildest Con by Guy Lawson. Sam Israel’s hedge fund was making heavy losses. So naturally, he fabricated fake returns to fool the investors. Then he heard about a secret market from where he could convert his millions into billions. That’s how he lost the last 150 million dollars of his invertors’ money.
Red Notice: A True Story of High Finance, Murder, and One Man’s Fight for Justice by Bill Browder. Only thing you are going to learn from this book is don’t do business in Russia.
The Smartest Guys in the Room: The Amazing Rise and Scandalous Fall of Enron by Bethany McLean, Peter Elkind. Bethany McLean asked one simple question in her article when everyone else was going gaga over Enron. “What does Enron actually do?” Nobody knew. Even Enron couldn’t give a specific answer. They were not just committing accounting fraud; they were looting ordinary people by creating fake shortage of electricity and driving the prices high. The documentary is worth watching too.
Stung: The Incredible Obsession of Brian Molony by Gary Stephen Ross. The guy Molony debited huge amounts of money from the bank he worked at to feed his gambling addiction. Oh, and he took the money in other people’s name who held huge accounts there. This is one of the best true-crime books that I have ever read.
Three Cups of Deceit: How Greg Mortenson, Humanitarian Hero, Lost His Way by Jon Krakauer. You know the man who builds schools in remote regions of Afghanistan and Pakistan? Great guy, right? Krakauer doesn’t think so. And he’ll tell you why in this short book.
The Wizard of Lies: Bernie Madoff and the Death of Trust by Diana B. Henriques. 65 billion dollars. That’s the amount that Madoff swindled from people through decades of fraud. I think I can buy a small island country with this much money. The idiot is in jail though. I don’t know, maybe after a couple of billion, skip to a country with no extradition treaty and live the rest of your life without the fear of being getting caught? But then, these types of people don’t know when to stop.
OTHER.
American Roulette: How I Turned the Odds Upside Down --- My Wild Twenty-Five-Year Ride Ripping Off World’s Casinos by Richard Marcus. The guy ripped-off casinos all over the world by stealing gaming chips while maintaining an illusion of a highroller to lend his eventual take required legitimacy.
Breaking the Rock: The Great Escape from Alcatraz by Jolene Babyak. Written by the daughter of a guard at Alcatraz, this book tells the story of the infamous escape from the prison island. Don’t forget to watch the classic movie too.
Bringing Down the House: The Inside Story of Six MIT Students Who Took Vegas for Millions by Ben Mezrich. The movie 21 was based on this book. But if you want to know the real story, without the whitewashing, you have no choice but to read this book.
Disposable People: New Slavery in the Global Economy by Kevin Bales. Kevin Bales estimates that there are 27 million people worldwide who live as slaves, right now. And yes, slavery still exists in United States of America in case you were wondering. This is a depressing book.
Fish: A Memoir of a Boy in a Man’s Prison by T. J. Parsell. Rape in prison is absolutely overlooked almost everywhere. Read this book if you can endure reading about helplessness page after page.
Hotel K: The Shocking Inside Story of Bali’s Most Notorious Jail by Kathryn Bonella. Prison systems in developing world differ from the developed one in one regard that the guards and officials there are more corrupt and hence are likely to look the other way when something bad is going down amongst the inmates. Kerobokan Jail in Bali is one of the worst among those.
The Hot House: Life Inside Leavenworth Prison by Pete Earley. The author interviewed inmates from Leavenworth Prison for two years. The book is the result of that labor.
The Laundrymen: Inside the World’s Third Largest Business by Jeffrey Robinson. I have a perfect idea to launder money. Laser Tag! Robinson looks at the third largest business in the world. The book was published a while ago, but still hasn’t lost most of its relevancy.
Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town by Jon Krakauer. Jon releases the Krakauer on one of the most relevant subjects of today. Rapes in colleges. These institutes would do anything to sweep things under the rug to maintain the illusion of clean image in the public eye.
Newjack: Guarding Sing Sing by Ted Conover. The author worked as a prison guard for a year at one of the most notorious prisons of the United States. This book is about his experience.

Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Final Part
It's a regional term, crick is anyway. It's just a creek. A Pennsylvania thing apparently. No idea why. But that's just the way it is:
"Don't get too close to the crick."
"A crick runs through it."
"Don't go near the crick at night."
That last one, that's the kicker. But I guess I should start with a little history.
If you've never been, Valley Forge as a park is a little different than what you might be thinking. Last year Jim Breuer came to the casino in town and started his set by saying he thought of VF as like The Alamo, some kind of fortress. The opposite couldn't be more true. Wide open fields clashing with thick patches of deep forest. There's some cabins strewn about too. Fake of course, meant to look like the ones Washington and the boys lived in (starved in?). Some fat guy in the 70's built them after he decided the park needed more authenticity. Irony I guess. Anyway, in the day time, the park is all peaceful bike rides, laughing children and picnicking families.
At night it's a little different.
I've worked in VF for almost 12 years now, since I graduated high school. I'm sort of a ranger but without a gun or cuffs or any real authority whatsoever. They call my position an official park explorer. I guess it's the same thing as calling a mall cop a store detective. Just sounds better. Reynolds, a fellow "explorer," even made us fake business cards with a magnifying glass and a fucking tree on it. Very funny.
Reynolds was a good egg. Older fellow than me, he joined us two summer's ago after his wife passed away. Just quit his office job and joined the park. Nice enough fellow, though for a guy who lost his wife at 45, he seemed way too jovial all the time, even when he first joined us. Then again, that might just be the cynic in me talking.
Anyway, things used to be nice and quiet but a few months ago we began hearing of these stories going around amongst the local school kids. Urban legends, I guess, some of them even started asking questions about it during the school field trips.
Basically, there's a monster in the park and it only comes out at night. It blends in, weaves its way through the trees and the grass, sometimes on all fours, sometimes standing straight up and the size of a house.
The Crick It they call it. As in "It came from the crick!" or some B movie nonsense. It became kind of a joke at first amongst us old heads. "Don't go near the crick at night!" was the usual staticky cat call coming through the walkie talkies when we went on our rounds. And when newbies asked what we meant we always said the same thing:
"Oh, EVERYONE in Valley Forge knows about the Crick It!"
We'd rattle off some bullshit story about VF's very own Bigfoot that lived by the crick. It was workplace funny of course. Reynolds and I would crack up, sort of, but it wasn't exactly something you'd recite to your actual friends expecting a laugh. The real funny thing is that The Forge didn't need a monster, it was plenty weird at night as it was.
Last year a new guy quit after his first overnight, said he saw a hunched over thin man, covered in blood, wrapped in bandages. It would appear in the doorway of every cabin he passed. Crying softly and whimpering for help. Thought for sure we were pulling something on him. Not the case. He arrived back before dawn, missing his hat and talkie, said the thing started to look like his dead father, but not quite. He bailed, dropping his gear as he ran.
Looked like him, but not quite... that always kind of got me.
There's plenty more stories like that, weird noises, weird sights. Of course, I figure that's any wooded area at night. Semi-supernatural nonsense, but nothing that ever really bites back.
'Til yesterday anyway.
Little girl and her brother went missing during the day. Parents were LIVID. As if I have some kind of sonar in my pocket.
"It's 2017," they practically said in unison towards Reynolds. "It's impossible to get lost in 2017," the mom finished looking in my direction, almost smiling.
The smile faded I imagine when she saw the look on my face. It's not that I didn't care, it's just the truth of the matter was something any park ranger (or goddamn park explorer) worth their salt could tell you: it's VERY easy to get lost in 2017 just like it's been VERY easy to get lost in the woods since man first decided to hunt. Lost and killed.
Unfortunately, I thought as I looked into the sunken eyes of the two parents before me, I knew exactly how they felt.
Well, they were in luck... sort of. Reynolds and I found the daughter the next morning. The cops arrived the night before and we ended up searching until dawn. The whole night, bumbling around, finding nothing. Just as we're about to take a little break, Reynolds and I round a corner and there she was, the sun beaming down on her through the glistening leaves. She was pale as a ghost, but otherwise seemed unharmed.
Now if you're from the area, you probably recall the story: kids were dragged off by a bear, taken alive and pulled into a cave. The boy didn't make the night but the girl escaped in the morning.
Couple problems of course: 1.) I'm twelve years into this job and I never once saw a bear in the park. Ever. I think we're just too damn close to the burbs. 2.) A bear attacked two kids and... what?... kidnapped them? Took them back to its cave to hang out?
Not likely.
See, I know what really happened... well, what the little girl claims anyway before the real officials arrived.
We got her into the administration cabin while I radioed the police on the other side of the park. Reynolds managed to find her a blanket and a juice box left over from the day camp.
And that's when it all came pouring out, we didn't even have to prod her:
Says one second her brother was there, the next he was enveloped by the ground. She told us the dirt "became a man... but not quite," stood straight up and wrapped the boy in its arms. Told us its head was fairly normal except for the mouth. Managed to wrap its entire jaw around the boy from the waist up like a snake. She was pretty sure her brother screamed the whole time he was devoured, but was completely muffled.
We asked why she didn't run or scream herself. She told us it had her around the leg like a tentacle made of flesh and dirt and leaves. Said the whole time she felt hypnotized, she couldn't even recall how her and brother got so deep into the woods in the first place. After its meal, it began to drag her through the woods. Said it attempted to hum some Kings of Leon song her dad had been humming just a minute before they wandered away. But the pitch was all wrong. "Like air escaping a balloon," she managed to mumble before her eyes went wide, the juice box fell to the floor and she began to scream. And I mean SCREAM.
"CRICK IT! CRICK IT!"
She was pointing at the window the whole time. The parents and I tried to calm her, grabbing her shoulders. Reynolds turned around to look at the window. I heard him gag on his own words as he stumbled backwards, almost tripping over the little girl, grabbing my shoulder and pointing too.
I looked of course. Nothing there. Only the trees.
The girl kept screaming, over and over. Cops took her away still wailing, I'm surprised they didn't try to gag her. Reynolds just sat there, clutching his hat on the front stoop of the cabin.
"You okay?" I asked as the cops pulled away.
"I just need some time off," he practically whispered. "I think it's finally... I think I just need some time off."
He actually quit the next day.
Why bring this all up? Well, in twelve years I've seen a lot of nonsense in this park. A LOT. So when something this intense happens, yeah sure, it bugs me for a little bit. But eventually it drifts away. It has to otherwise we'd all go mad.
Go mad.
That's the feeling I can't escape as I sit here now, my usual Thursday overnight. Except this time, no Reynolds. Just me and the talkie.
A talkie that just crackled to life.
"EveryONE in VALLEY forge KNOWS aBOUT the CRICK it," a voice squealed from the other side. A voice that sounded like air escaping from a balloon.

Disclaimer:I am getting these time stamps off ITunes -At 0:00:48-Van Halen’s 1984 song Jump begins to play in the introduction to The “Stacks”.
At 0:1:18-A BLACK ALIEN INVADER STICKER FROM SPACE INVADERS IS ON WADE’S BACKPACK
At 0:01:44 one of the residents of “The Stacks” is receiving a delivery from a Pizza Hut drone.
At 0:02:13-Mrs. Gilmore is wearing a shirt featuring The Police album Synchronicity
At 0:02:45 Two Garbage Pail Kids stickers are visible on the wall one I can make out one which is Bony Tony
Also 0:02:45-A Garfield sticker is also on the van’s wall
At 0:02:46-Hanging from the wall is a damaged IPod Classic
At 0:02:47-Wade retrieves his OASIS retinal scanner off a a Commodore 64 joystick.
Also at 0:02:46-A 1980’s Batman sticker is stuck to the wall where Wade’s retinal scanner is.
At 0:02:47-a Nintendo NES Zapper is taped to the wall of the van.
Also at 0:02:47- a 1972-Doritos packet is tucked behind a drawer in the van.
Also at 0:02:47-a sticker of the pyramid from Q*Bert is stuck to a shelf in Wade’s Van.
At 0:02:57-Wade sets his glasses on a 1982 Masters Of The Universe lunchbox. A Masters Of The Universe Thermos is further along the drawer.
Also at 0:02:57-A POP ROCKS! Blue Razz packet is also lying upon the MOTU lunchbox.
At 0:02:57-beside the lunchbox is a 1980’s Coke can
Also at 0:02:57 A Carl’s Jr. fries packet is lying beside the lunchbox
At 0:03:16-Wade pulls his OASIS visor out of a 1981 Defenders T-Shirt.
At 0:03:18-A 1982 JOUST sticker is placed on the visor
Also at 0:03:18-A Space Invaders logo decal is on the visor
Also at 0:03:18-A Mattel Scratch N’ Sniff sticker is next to the Space Invaders sticker
At 0:03:24-A 1980’s Batman Symbol sticker is visible on the visor
At 0:03:40-we enter the OASIS to visit Minecraft World nice attention to detail with the blocks forming and creeper-face logo.
At 0:03:42-In Minecraft World a village below features Steve Alex and Minecraft pigs and sheep avatars (maybe NPCs?)
At 0:03:47-on the sports world a golf player does the Gilmore swing from Adam Sandler’s Happy Gilmore.
At 0:03:55-In a Sports World mini-game named Hurricane Hang-Gliding a small house flies through the wreckage referencing the Gale House from The Wizard Of Oz (well in the 1939 movie it was a Tornado but still a reference)
At 0:04:04-a group of OASIS sector portals are seen-some of these include Minecraft World and LUDUS school districts from the book.
At 0:04:17-get ready for some Batman references While in the Vacation Planet Wade explains that you could do multiple activities including climbing MT. Everest with Batman
The variation of the Batman show here is Micheal Keaton’s portrayal from the 1989 Tim Burton film.
Batman climbing MT. Everest is a reference to him and Robin climbing tall buildings in the 1966 Adam West tv series.
Also at 0:04:17-what’s interesting here is the climber below Batman. He definitely looks like Link from Nintendo’s Legend of Zelda series but I’ve heard Warner Bros. Couldn’t get the license so maybe a Robin Hood Avatar?
At 0:04:21-Wade says you can go to a planet-size space Casino this is taken directly from one of the episodes from the Anime Cowboy Bepbop.
At 0:04:30-we can hear a School bell ring as ships pass the planet Ludus which is of course the school Wade attends in the novel.
At 0:04:40-As Wade introduces the types of Avatars users can choose in the OASIS the Cyclops from the 1958 fantasy film The 7th Voyage Of Sinbad stomps out of the entry point.
At 0:04:41-Frankenstein (1931) and The Wolf-Man (1941) from their classic Universal horror movies emerge from the OASIS entry point as Thr Wolf-Man howls and Frankenstein’s Monster swings his arms around wrapped in chains.
0:04:42-A female Avatar switches her avatar to Injustice 2’s version of The Flash.
At 0:04:43-Zitz and Rash from the 1991 NES game Battletoads emerge from the entry point.
At 0:04:43-Alex Murphy A.K.A Robocop from Paul Verhoven’s 1987 original Robocop film emerges from the entry point.
At 0:04:46-Wade says your avatar can be a Cartoon character as Marvin the Martin from the Looney Tunes cartoon series runs out of the entry point (he looks so cute and cool)
At 0:04:47-a group of OASIS users using Orrendi from the 2016 video game BattleBorn emerge from the entry point.
At 0:04:48-behind Wade Shayne and Auroxx (might’ve misspelled the character’s name) from Battleborn emerge from the entry point.
At 0:04:49-An Orc from World of Warcraft walks besides Wade when Wade is introducing his Avatar Parzival.
At 0:04:56-above on a walkway a younger version of Beetlejuice from Tim Burton’s 1988 movie is visible.
Also at 0:4:56-it appears Raiden from the Mortal Kombat video game series is interacting with another player.
At 0:04:56-Tracer from the video game Overwatch cuts in line for an OASIS portal.
At 0:04:57-Sonic from Sega’s video game series Sonic The Hedgehog taps his foot impatiently waiting for a line.
Also at 0:04:57-Catwoman is also in the line (it appears it is Michelle Pfeiffer’s Batman Returns variation.
At 0:04:58-John Bender from John Hughe’s 1985 teen film The Breakfast Club is seen entering a portal.
At 0:04:58-Night-Wing is seen entering a portal alongside John Bender (it appears it is the Arkham variation.
At 0:04:58-now take this with a grain of salt but I think can make out Sektor and cyborg from Mortal Kombat in one of the portal lines.
At 0:05:00 (under the walkway Wade is one is Commander John Shepard from the EA video game Mass Effect.
At 0:05:02-on the walkway is Attikus from Battleborn stomping past Wade.
At 0:05:04-while Wade is explaining the possibilities of the OASIS Hello Kitty Badtz-Maru and Keroppi from Sanrio skips beside him.
At 0:05:05-A Protoss Zealot from Starcraft II is on the walkway behind Wade.
At 0:05:05-Wade’s avatar Parzival wears a belt and holster worn by Han Solo in Star Wars:Episode IV-A New Hope
Also at 0:05:05-The Buckle on Parzival’s belt is the Tiger emblem from Thundercats (1985 cartoon series)
Also at 0:05:05-Parzival wears Converse’s Chuck-Taylor All stars (golden-winged(
At 0:05:07-Wade pulls up a holographic OASIS sector map that is in the same shape as a Rubik’s Cube
At 0:05:11-Wade finds out Aech is currently participating in a PVP match on Planet Doom a location in the 1984 anime Voltron.
At 0:05:20-On Planet Doom Mechanised scorpions from the 1993 computer game Ultrabots swarm the battlefield.
Also at 0:05:20-The scorpions go up against Knights and Ostriches from the 1982 arcade game Joust (in a deleted scene in the SDCC trailer Napoleon rides on a scorpion as he kills ostriches which lay green eggs like in the game.
At 0:05:22-Aech kills a beserker from Gears of War.
At 0:05:28-Aech eliminates a PVP tournament player taking the form of Robert England’s Freddy Kruger
Also at 0:05:28-Aech uses an MA5B assault rifle from Halo 3 to eliminate players.
At 0:05:29-When Freddy gets killed Kreig’s Buzz-Axe from Borderlands comes bursting out of his inventory
At 0:05:31-Aech kills Kitana from Mortal Kombat as a fan comes out of her inventory
At 0:05:31-Man-Bat from Batman:Arkham Knight swoops down at Aech only to be eliminated
At 0:05:37-Despite being an Assault rifle from Halo the SFX of the rifle is the Pulse Rifle from Terminator 2:Judgement Day
At 0:05:41-Duke Nukem from the video game series of the same name fires multiple rockets at Aech only to be eliminated by him.
At 0:05:44-(this is the weirdest thing in the movie) A player taking the form of an Emoji person attempts to kill Aech.
At 0:05:46-A Zerg from Starcraft is shot by Aech.
At 0:05:47-Aech picks up a EM1-Railgun from the 1996 Arnold Schwarzenegger film Eraser.
At 0:05:53-Daito’s Avatar is actually based of legendary Japanese film actor Toshiro Mifune (specially from his 1953 film Throne of Blood)
At 0:05:56-Aech kills Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat.
At 0:05:57-Scorpion from Mortal Kombat is fighting Daito and Sho before being shot by Aech.
Also at 0:05:57-The weapon Scorpion is using is a buzz-Axe from Borderlands.
At 0:05:58-Aech shoots Deadshot (it is his Injustice 2 variation)
At 0:06:14-E. Honda from Street fighter is on the mountain pushing other people off with his belly.
At 0:06:18-Chun-Li from Street fighter can be seen dodging traps before being burned by a fire trap.
At 0:06:26-we all saw this cameo. Jim Raynor from Starcraft II and shooting every player in sight.
At 0:06:27-yet another 1972-packaged Doritos Tortilla Chips behind Rick on the coffee table (I believe you see it in the film four times)
0:06:36-When we cut to a mother playing the PVP tournament the Guitar from Guitar Hero is sitting On the armchair.
At 0:06:48-when Daito slays a PVP player and his loot bursts out an O.G 1986 W.O.W Laser Tag pistol can be seen in the pile.
At 0:06:50-we cut to a girl screaming since losing in the PVP match. A poster for The Bangle’s 1984 album All Over The Place is on the girl’s bedroom wall.
Also at 0:06:50 - A Bedtime Bear plush toy from Care Bears is on the girl’s bed.
At 0:06:51-A Donkey Kong Jr. poster is on the bedroom wall.
Also at 0:06:51-On a shelf in the girl’s bedroom Care Bear figurines are visible.
At 0:06:54-Daito and Sho fight and shortly kills Jason Vorhees from the Friday the 13th horror series.
Also at 0:06:54-When Jason is slain various things comes out of his inventory (lots of guns) I could only make out another 1986 W.O.W Laser Tag pistol.
At 0:07:06-Tear For Fear’s song Everybody Wants To Rule The World plays.
At 0:07:06-Raphael from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014 Michael Bay film) passes Wade when Wade is talking to Aech.
Also at 0:07:06-Blue Beetle from Injustice 2 passes Wade.
At 0:07:07-behind Wade you can see Benedict from Battleborn
At 0:07:08-Leonardo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (again 2014) passes wade while wade is talking to Aech.
At 0:07:12-Doc Brown from Back To The Future in his Part II outfit passes Wade on the walkway.
At 0:07:42-A framed poster of the video game Gradius appears on the wall in the Gregarious Games showcase room.
Also at 0:07:42-A Framed poster of Castlevaynia appears on the opposite wall in the GG showcase room.
At 0:08:01-Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D Minor shortly plays over the start of Halliday’s last message video.
Also at 0:08:01-The quarters over Halliday’s eyes read:God We Trust 1972. 1972 was the year Ernest cline was born AND when Atari was founded.
At 0:08:05-At the funeral parlour there are various flower arrangements of the Starfleet logo and the U.S.S Enterprise ship along with a glass painting of the Starfleet logo from the sci-fi franchise Star Trek.
Also at 0:08:05-The coffin Halliday is lying in is Spock’s Mark VI torpedo in Star Trek II:The Wrath Of Khan.
At 0:08:10-Halliday rises out of the coffin of how Count Dracula would in various Dracula horror movies.
At 0:08:16-Halliday places a TOMY hand-held Pac-Man game on the coffin.
At 0:08:17-Halliday is wearing a Joust shirt.
At 0:08:21-On Halliday’s lapel he is wearing a SIMON pin.
Also at 0:08:21-A little harder to see but Halliday is also wearing a D20 pin from Dungeons and Dragons.
At 0:08:48-On the right side of the screen A High School student watching Halliday’s last message is wearing a Marvin The Martian shirt from The Looney Tunes.
At 0:08:51-Another High school student pulling out a screen is wearing a Pac-Man shirt.
At 0:10:04: Joan Jets and the Blackheart’s 1988 song I Hate myself For Loving you plays.
At 0:10:15-El Dragon from Battleborn passes Wade on the walkway.
At 0:10:27-On the copper key starting line Wade walks through aisles of IOI cars to pass The V8 Interceptor from Mad Max.
At 0:10:34-The Batmobile from the 1966 Adam West tv series Batman is visible throughout the race (love the safety siren flashing)
At 0:10:34-however the driver is not Adam West’s Batman and instead is the Batman from the Arkham games(you can see him moving around in the cockipit)
At 0:10:34:Ryu from Street Fighter is passing down the aisle of cars.
At 0:10:34-A modernised version of the Mach 5 from Speed Racer appears at the starting line next to Ryu.
At 0:10:59-Wade passes a red F1 racing car from the 1982 Atari game Pole Position.
Also at 0:10:59-Mr. T.’s GMC Van from the A-team appears at the starting line.
Also at 0:10:59-the 1968 possessed Plymouth Fury from Christine appears at the starting line of the copper key race.
Also at 0:10:59-Lara Croft from the Tomb Raider game series is having a conversation with Dizzy Wallin from Gears of War II before the race starts.
At 0:11:04-In the Oology department a Scholar is watching the Twin Pines Mall scene from Back to the future on a monitor.
At 0:11:06-A Halliday scholar is holding a sealed copy of DC Comics Presents:Superman and Superboy
At 0:11:09-A Halliday scholar is watching the Goodbye scene in E.T. The Extra Terrestrial on a monitor.
Also at 0:11:09-A Wonder Woman comic panel poster is being studied by scholars.
At 0:11:10-It looks as if on a whiteboard scholars are studying The Glaive from Krull.
At 0:11:13-A group of Ooligists are studying Fruit Loops on a IOI monitor.
Also at 0:11:13-A Cap N’ Crunch cereal box appears on a scholar’s monitor.
Also at 0:11:13-in the Oology department a liberty island version of the map from Escape From New York appears on the TV screen.
At 0:11:28-while walking up to Aech at the racetrack Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat walks past him.
At 0:11:29-Aech’s form of vehicle for the race is the Bigfoot Monster Truck which started the monster truck business and has appeared in multiple Hot Wheels sets.
At 0:11:48-Aech teases wade about not having enough money for fuel but can get a Something About Mary hairdo referencing the 1998 comedy There’s something about Mary.
At 0:12:09-Wade spawns in The DeLorean Time Machine from Back to the future.
Alright so Ernest Cline said during the New York race you can find Ghostbusters HQ and the apartment building from Batteries Not Included I haven’t found them yet.
At 0:12:29-When the horn for the start of the race blows out of Liberty’s torch the Domino Sugar factory appears behind the statue.
At 0:12:49-A blue F1 racing car from Pole Position gets rammed by an IOI vehicle.
At 0:12:52-Art3mis drives by on Shotaro Kaneda’s bike from Akira.
At 0:13:31-A sticker for the skateboarding brand Thraser appears on Artemis’s bike.
Also at 0:13:31-Two Scratch N’ Sniff stickers appear on Art3mis’s bike specifically a pear and Tomato great job stickers.
At 0:13:37- the K.I.T.T bar from Knight Rider is under the grill of Wade’s DeLorean.
At 0:13:45-When speaking about Art3mis to Aech Wade mentions he has seen all of her Twitch Streams.
At 0:13:53-when going over a ramp wade makes the DeLorean do the Corkscrew Junp from the 1967 James Bond movie The Man With The golden Gun.
At 0:14:03-The Pork Chop Express from the 1986 Kurt Russell film Big Trouble In Little China blocks the road for players.
At 0:14:05-Art3mis’s bike has an Atari decal on it.
At 0:14:08-on the street beside the pork chop express a diner appears named Ratners it was an old dinedeli that opened in New York in 1902.
At 0:14:14-Wade switches the DeLorean to Hover mode from Back To The Future:Part II when he gets a collision warning during the race.
0:14:16-when an IOI racer crashes and wade picks up has coins he’s using an Arcade coin slot machine to do so.
At 0:14:35-An IOI racer crashes in front of the national video centre (it is a place in New York basically a museum for technology like televisions and computers)
At 0:14:40-A Ms. Pac-Man decal appears on Art3mis’s bike.
Also at 0:14:40-The superhero logo from The Greatest American Hero appears on Art3mis’s bike.
At 0:14:41-very hard to see but at the bottom of Art3mis’s bike is a decal for skateboarding brand JFA.
Also at 0:14:41-Art3mis and an IOI racer pass a Movie theatre marquee that reads:Schwarzenegger Jack Slater III referencing the 1993 film-in a film Last Action Hero.
At 0:14:51 Rexy The T-Rex from the Jurassic Park/Jurassic World movies munches on vehicles in Chinatown (for those saying it’s just a random T-Rex it does the same roar as in the movies and has the same scars and marks on it’s face)
At 0:14:58-The final and hardest obstacle of all:King Kong. Like in all of the Kong movies he’s hanging off the Empire State Building circled by 1930’s bi-planes.
At 0:15:12-we get a shot of King Kong destroying rail roads in front of the Silvercups Studios building where the final battle in Highlander took place as well as an actual movie studio.
0:15:16-as Aech skids to a halt in Bigfoot the Batmobile gets knocked off the road right after skidding to the sound of the 1966 Batman tv series theme.
At 0:15:20-A 1975 Wonder Woman decal appears on Art3mis’s bike.
At 0:15:25-behind Aech in the scene where Art3mis jumps over the gap with her bike a Delta City billboard from Robocop appears.
At 0:16:29-When Art3mis brushes herself off from Wade’s rescue The Ace Chemical’s building from Batman appears behind her.
0:16:23-when Art3mis insepects her damaged bike an old advertising billboard called Come to the Caribbean appears behind her.
At 0:16:57-when Wade Aech and Art3mis enter Aech’s workshop Prince’s song I wanna be your lover plays.
Also at 0:16:57-leaning against the wall near the entry is Pee-wee Herman’s bike from Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure.
0:17:08-We all know this one:Aech is working on building an Iron Giant from the animated 1999 film of the same name.
At 0:17:13-A Cylon Raider ship from Battlestar Galactia is hanging on the wall.
At 0:17:22-Aech owns a Fraggle Rock-themed lunchbox to store all his miniature sci-fi ships.
0:17:23-When Wade opens the lunchbox we see various sci-fi ships these conclude of:The Galactia from Battlestar Galactia The Valley Forge From the 1972 sci-fi film Silent Running a colonial Viper from Battlestar Galactia and the Sulaco from Aliens.
At 0:17:24-a miniature model of the Swordfish II from Cowboy Bepbop is on the Aech’s worktable.
At 0:17:31-Wade mentions Aech owning a miniature Harkonnen Drop-ship from Dune and says it could get to Arrakis in seconds (while Arrakis was in the 1965 novel the drop-ship was created for the 1985 movie).
At 0:17:46-A faded mini-poster of Pole Position appears on the pole behind Aech.
At 0:17:47-on another pole below Aech is a poster for the Colecovision video game Gorf.
At 0:17:51-The TARDIS police box from Doctor Who appears behind Aech Wade and Art3mis when talking about repairing the Akira bike.
Also at 0:17:51-hanging from the roof is The Eagle 5 from the 1987 Star Wars parody film Spaceballs.
At 0:17:52-a life-size Swordfish II from Cowboy Bepbop appears in Aech’s workshop waiting for repair.
At 0:17:53-parked in Aech’s workshop is the 1969 250 GT California Ferrari from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
Also at 0:17:53-hanging off the roof of Aech’s workshop is The EVA Pod from the 1968 Kubrick sci-fi classic 2001:A Space Odyssey.
Also at 0:17:53-a life-size Colonial Viper from Battlestar Galactia is hanging off the roof of the workshop.
Also at 0:17:53-The Thunderfighter from Buck Rogers in the 25th century is hanging off the roof of the workshop.
Also at 0:17:53-in the corner of the workshop is the enforcement droid ED-209 from Robocop.
At 0:18:18-Art3mis asks Wade what was Halliday’s favourite first-person shooter game. Wade replies by saying 007 Goldeneye based of the James Bond movie of the same name. His favourite character was Oddjob the villain. And his favourite player mode was slappers only where players could only slap to kill.
At 0:18:30-Art3mis asks what Halliday’s favourite racer game which was the 1981 SEGA game Turbo.
O:18:32-Wade says Halliday’s favourite food was Hot Pockets a microwaveable pizza snack.
Also at 0:18:32-while Wade and Art3mis are talking playing softly in the background is Just my imagination (running away with me) by The Temptation.
At 0:13:33-Wade says Halliday’s favourite restaurant was Chuck E. Cheese which is an Arcade and pizza restaurant. The restaurant’s founder Nolan Bushnell also happened to founded Atari.
At 0:18:35-Wade says Halliday’s favourite song was Video Killed The Radio Star by The Buggles which happens to be the first song to air on MTV in 1980.
At 0:18:37–Wade says Halliday’s favourite music video was A-Ha’s 1985 hit song Take On Me.
At 0:18:42-Wade and Art3mis complete a quote together which was Halliday’s favourite of Gene Hackman’s portrayal of Lex Luthor in Superman:The Movie:Some people can read war and peace and come away thinking it’s a simple adventure story. Others can read the back of a chewing gum paper and unlock the secrets of the universe.
At 0:19:06-before Art3mis and Wade walk away a Castlevaynia poster is on the wall.
At 0:19:98- A Robotron 2084 poster appears on the wall of Aech’s workshop.
Also at 0:19:08-A Joust banner appears on the wall of Aech’s Workshop.
Also at 0:19:08-A GORF banner appears on the wall of Aech’s Workshop.
Also at 0:19:08-A poster for the 1985 Tengen arcade game Gauntlet appears on the wall of Aech’s workshop.
Also at 0:19:08-a poster for Galaga (1983 version) appears on the wall of Aech’s workshop.
At 0:19:54-The PO-024 repair E-Frame from the 90’s cartoon series Exosqaud appears in Aech’s workshop.
At 0:20:01:Art3mis nicknames Wade McFly referencing Marty McFly Back To The Future series.
At 0:20:39-You’ll need to turn the brightness up but when Rick holds up one of Wade’s gloves a Batman and SEGA sticker are on it.
At 0:21:54-Wade explains that his name Wade Watts was supposed to sound like a superhero’s alter-ego and examples Bruce Banner A.K.A The Hulk and Peter Parker A.K.A Spider-Man from Marvel Comics.
At 0:22:39-When Wade grabs out his OASIS visor a Street Fighter decal is on the side of it.
Also at 0:22:39A Midway games decal (a company who manufactured mainly all 80’s and 90’s arcade games) is on the top of Wade’s visor.
At 0:22:41-George Michael’s 1985 song Faith plays when Wade enters the Halliday Journals.
At 0:22:48-The interior design of the Halliday Journals is taking directly from the Shermer High library from The Breakfast Club.
At 0:22:50-Hello Kitty is sitting down at one of the journal’s tables interacting with another player.
At 0:22:52-A Ms. Pac-Man arcade cabinet is behind The Curator’s desk.
Also at 0:22:52:-A Dig Dug arcade cabinet is behind The Curator’s desk.
Also at 0:22:52-A Tempest arcade cabinet is behind The Curator’s desk.
At 0:22:56-The Curator’s design is based off Jeeves from the 1990 search engine Ask Jeeves.com
At 0:23:06-an Asteroids arcade cabinet is behind The Curator’s desk.
At 0:23:06-A Pong arcade cabinet is behind The Curator’s desk.
At 0:23:06-A Pole Position arcade cabinet is behind The Curator’s desk.
At 0:23:19-In one of Halliday’s recreated memories Halliday is playing in an Arcade with games like Joust Asteroids and Tempest.
At 0:23:20-A Revenge Of The Nerds poster is up on the wall in the recreated memory Wade and The Curator walk by.
At 0:23:23-Alright buckle up becuase there are a lot of stuff to cover: In Halliday’s cluttered room there are things such as an Astro Boy mask a vintage packet of Lays Potato Chips a Ladyhawke poster a speak and spell some Madballs a copy of Schindler’s Ark and a Raiders Of The Lost Ark poster.
At 0:23:39-Wade and The Curator walk past a memory labelled:Halliday playing his Atari 2600 with a carving of an Atari 2600 at the bottom.
Also at 0:23:39-The game Halliday is playing on his Atari 2600 is Defender.
Also at 0:23:39-Various toys and collectibles are scattered throughout Halliday’s room concluding of:A Marvin The Martian toy A Gizmo plush from Gremlins a toy model of The A-Team Van A Batman statue posters for Wargames and Rush 2112 Connect Four A SIMON toy an Etch-E-Sketch and a Castle Greyskrull play-set from Masters Of The Universe with He-Man and Skeletor action figures
At 0:23:41-A Framed poster for Black Tiger appears on the wall of The Gregarious Games breakroom.
Also at 0:23:41:In The Gregarious Games breakroom a framed poster for Legend Of Zelda:A Link To The Past is on the wall.
Also at 0:23:41-Further down the hall of the breakroom is a framed poster for Mortal Kombat.
At 0:23:51-Halliday and Ogden Morrow have a conversation about living in an Asteroids Arcade cabinet.
At 0:23:56-Halliday in the memory is wearing a Space Invaders shirt.
At 0:24:16-A framed poster for Galaga (1986 version) appears behind Morrow in the breakroom.
At 0:25:25-Halliday references Bill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure when talking about going backwards.
At 0:26:01-A Hello Kitty decal appears on Art3mis’s bike.
At 0:26:22-While it’s never said in the movie the Suxors is graffitied on the pedestal of Liberty (it was a nickname for the Sixers in the novel)
At 0:26:59-When Wade gets to King Kong’s stage Max Steiner’s 1933 original theme for King Kong plays.
At 0:27:44-Anorak says to Wade nice racing Padawan referencing the Jedi Apprentices in the Star Wars franchise
At 0:29:12-Ripley’s cargo-Holder from Alien appears on Planet Doom in Nolan Sorrento’s presentation.
At 0:29:23-In Sorrento’s OASIS IOI ad presentation Man-Bat from Batman:Arkham Knight appears on planet doom getting shot at.
At 0:29:24-In Nolan Sorrento’s presentation a pop-up ad for the EM-1 railgun from Eraser appears.
At 0:29:38-Bruce Springsteen’s song Stand On It begins to play.
At 0:29:40-Wade and Aech go to a mall called Avatar Outfitters referencing the store Urban Outfitters.
Also at 0:29:40-The Logo for Avatar Outfitters has the same calligraphic A as in the title for James Cameron’s film Avatar.
At 0:29:43-A Street Fighter booth at Avatar outfitters are selling combat moves as a holographic RYU does an uppercut move.
At 0:29:54-Blue Beetle from Injustice 2 is walking around the store.
At 0:29:54-An Overwatch booth at Avatar Outfitters is selling Pulse Pistols as a holographic Tracer does her spin.
Also at 0:29:54-A Dungeons And Dragons booth is selling magic spells.
At 0:29:59- booth in Avatar outfitters is selling weapons with a holographic Claptrap (a character in the game)
A4 0:29:59-Halo booth is selling assault rifles with holographic images of Master Chief.
At 0:29:59-in the far back left of the booths A Looney Tunes booth with a holographic Marvin The Martian appears.
At 0:29:59-In the far back right an Injustice booth appears (I can’t identify the hologram though). (Zoom In required).
At 0:29:59-A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles booth appears in the far back with a hologram of Raphael (zoom-in required)
At 0:30:02-One of the items available for purchase in the iconic items booth is The Holy Hand Grenade from the 1975 Monty python film Monty Python and The Holy Grail.
At 0:30:07-while I can’t identify the actual item because it goes too fast but Wade runs past an item in the iconic item section with the Blizzard Entertainment logo printed underneath it.
At 0:30:07-Wade Runs past Dust-Brain from the Madballs toy line in the iconic items section.
At 0:30:08-Wade runs past The Peltzer Peeler Juicer from Gremlins in the iconic times section.
Also at 0:30:08-Wade runs by A Chucky doll from Child’s Play (which is where Aech presumably got the one used on Planet Doom) in the iconic times section.
At 0:30:09-Wade runs past a Plasma Pistol from Halo in the iconic items section.
At 0:30:11-Wade walks up and buys a magical item The Zemeckis Cube which is of course a Rubik’s Cube named after Back To The Future Director Robert Zemeckis that has the ability to slow and turn back time.
At 0:30:13-A hologram of The Wolf-Man appears next to The Zemeckis Cube booth.
At 0:31:05:When Nolan Sorrento enters the OASIS he is transported to the wreckage of a Tripod fighting machine from War Of The Worlds (1953 George Pal version)
At 0:31:29-Sorrento’s avatar Bossman59 features a Clark Kent hair curl from Superman.
At 0:31:52-I-ROK flicks away Perseus’s Shield from the 1981 version of Clash Of The Titans (sigh)(I-ROK has no respect for classics)
Also at 0:31:52-Indiana Jone’s whip from the Indiana Jones franchise is laying besides the shield.
At 0:31:58-I-ROK picks up the head of an eliminated player The Steampunk Pirate King and does a misquoted reference to William Shakespeare’s play Hamlet. I-ROK says I knew him well Sorrento parodying the line to Yorick:Alas Yorrick!! I knew him Horatio.
At 0:32:18-In the pile of weapons are tow Boomshot guns from Gears of Wars.
Also at 0:32:18-The Colonial Blaster from Battlestar Galactia appears in the pile of weapons.
Also at 0:23:18-Two Batarangs from Batman are scatted around the weapons pile.
At 0:32:22-The M1911 Colt pistol from Duke Nukem is also in the weapons pile.
Also at 0:32:22-The box containing The Orb Of Osuvox is the Mogwai box that Gizmo was kept in at the start of Gremlins
At 0:32:29-The inside of the orb is a polyhedral D20 dice used in Dungeons and Dragons.
At 0:33:11-When talking about the price of Parzival’s elimination from The Scoreboard I-ROK references a Tootsie Pop commercial with Mr. Owl biting to the chocolaty centre.
At 0:33:51-The vehicle Daito uses to get to the finish line is The Mach 5 from Speed Racer.
At 0:33:54-Sho pulls up to the finish line in a Smokey (literally) 1977 Trans Am Pontiac used in Smokey and The Bandit.
At 0:34:22-When Wade is reciting the Jade Key clue excerpt in his notebook he has linked the last two words in the clue: At Last” could be a possible reference to the song of the same now (doesn’t specify which one though)
At 0:34:29- On a piece of paper taped to the wall Wade has written down locations you can visit in the OASIS these conclude off-
The Star Wars Galaxy The Star Trek Universe Middle-Earth from J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord Of The Rings/Hobbit. Vulcan from Star Trek Pern from Dragonriders of Pern Arrakis from Dune Magrathea from The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy Discworld from the book series of the same name Ring-world from the book series of the same name River-world from the book series of the same name.
From 0:34:30 to 0:34:31-taped to the wall is a list of John Hughes movies these conclude of-
National Lampoon’s Vacation Sixteen Candles Weird Science Breakfast Club Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Pretty In Pink Some Kind Of Wonderful Planes Trains and Automobiles Uncle Buck Home Alone Home Alone 2:Lost In New York
At 0:34:32-Taped to the wall is Wade’s analysis of the funeral scene in Halliday’s Last Message video. It is a breakdown of all the Star Trek Easter eggs in the scene including the Starfleet logo U.S.S. Enterprise and the photo torpedo
At 0:34:33-At the bottom of a Newspaper article taped to the wall of Wade’s Van it reads:OASIS Coin the next Dollar? A sly reference to Bit-Coin video game currency.
At 0:34:40-On a piece of paper taped to the wall Wade has written down the rules of The OASIS just like the book and it mentions Everquest the MMORPG Game.
At 0:35:30-On the right besides Kira and Morrow’s picture is a list of movies labelled: Set In New York
These conclude of-Ghostbusters. Big (1988 Tom Hanks) has been crossed out on the list. Mad Max (it was in Australia though?) The cannonball Run. King Kong . Escape From New York is highlighted on the list. See No Evil (1971 horror movie). And another misplaced title Back To The Future despite being set in California
At 0:35:19-Wade has written down instructions of how to get to the secret room in Adventure foreshadowing the climax.
At 0:35:21-When Wade goes back to the Halliday Journals Blondie’s song One Way Or Another plays.
At 0:35:27-The Arkham Knight passes Wade when he is exiting The Halliday Journals (he later returns inside)
At 0:35:28-A younger version of Beetlejuice spots Wade when Wade enters The Journals.
At 0:35:29-Supergirl from Injustice 2 jumps out of her seat to greet Wade.
At 0:35:31-Raiden from Mortal Kombat is sitting down at one of the Journal’s tables.
At 0:35:34-Dizzy Wallin from Gears Of Wars 2 runs up to the crowd that mobs Wade.
At 0:35:37-Blue Beetle from Injustice 2 is one of the fans in the crowd.
Also at 0:35:37-Ambra from Battleborn is one of the fans in the crowd.
At 0:35:38-Batgirl from Batman is one of the fans in the crowd.
At 0:35:47-Goro from Mortal Kombat pulls Wade away from his fans.
At 0:35:48-Lara Croft from Tomb Raider is one of the fans in the crowd.
At 0:36:02-When being led into a secret room Wade gets pranked by a Chestburster from Alien popping out of Goro’s chest revealed to be a puppet by Art3mis.
At 0:36:36-Art3mis pulls out Clark Kent Glasses from Superman and puts them on Wade for a disguise while roaming The Journals.
At 0:35:46-While Wade with his Clark Kent disguise goes into the archives Miko from Battleborn is behind him.
At 0:36:49-Benedict from Battleborn is behind Wade when Wade enters The Archives.
At 0:36:51-When Wade and Art3mis are entering The Archives an avatar behind them is wearing a pink Michael Jackson jacket.
At 0:37:00-In the memory outside of Halliday and Morrow’s office is a framed Metroid Japanese printed poster (original 1986 game)
At 0:37:03-Behind Art3mis Wade and The Curator is another memory which is set in The Happytime pizzeria from the novel.
At 0:37:17-There are some action figures on Morrow’s desk. One I can make out his Triceraton from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990).
At 0:37:32-When Halliday is talking to Sorrento you can see he is designing the Room 237 Bathroom from The Shining on his computer.
Also at 0:37:32-The Billy Idol album Don’t Stop is on Halliday’s desk.
At 0:37:44-A copy of Dungeon Magazine is lying on Halliday’s desk (I could not identify which issue though)
At 0:37:49-In a blink and you miss it moment when The Curator is fast-forwarding the Memory a framed Pole Position poster is outside the office.
At 0:37:53-On the shelf behind the desk is Def Leppard’s 1983 album Pyromania (zoom-in required)
At 0:38:02-While having a conversation with Morrow about the date with Karen Halliday says she prefers to be called Kira after the character in Jim Henson’s 1982 film The Dark Crystal.
At 0:38:39-As mentioned above the memory behind the three is of Halliday hanging out at The Happytime Pizzeria but in this frame you can see he is playing Joust.
At 0:39:48-Wade figures out that Kira is the centre of the 2nd clue and calls her Halliday’s Rosebud referencing the lost sled Rosebud in Citizen Kane.
At 0:40:02-When Art3mis flips the quarter The Curator gives to Wade it makes the sound effect of a 1-up from the Super Mario Bros. Games.
At 0:40:17-Earth Wind and Fire’s 1975 song Can’t find love plays when Art3mis asks Wade on a date.
Alright in Aech’s 80’s basement recreation there is soo much Easter eggs and memorabilia so forgive me if I miss any.
At 0:40:46-posted on the wall is a Save Ferris poster from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off another Metroid poster and white Space Invader decals.
At 0:40:46-hanging from the wall is the neon sign for the dream bar Cocktails and Dreams in the 1988 Tom cruise film Cocktail.
At 0:40:46-below the sign is a Dark Crystal poster.
At 0:40:46-Ripping through the floor is the nuclear rocket from Weird Science.
At 0:40:46-A Pac-Man bin lies besides a Pac-Man arcade cocktail cabinet.
At 0:40:46-an Airplane! VHS tape is on top of boxes.
At 0:40:46-multiple VHS tapes for the 1986 Jim Henson film Labyrinth are scattered around the floor of the hangout.
At 0:40:06-Retro packets for Potato Chips brands Lays and Ruffles lay against the coffee table.
At 0:40:06-Incredibly hard to see but under a pile of VHS tapes is a VHS tape of Caddyshack (zoom-in required)
At 0:40:46-Marty Mcfly Jr.’s rainbow cap from Back To The Future:Part II lies besides an vinyl record player.
At 0:40:06-Lying against the wall is an Emulator II keyboard used in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.
At 0:40:46-on the wall besides the couch are three mini-posters stuck on it:A Donkey Kong arcade poster A Pole Position II poster and a 1983 Galaga poster.
At 0:40:06-A Kermit The Frog plush from The Muppets is lying against a shelf besides a Hot Wheels play-set.
At 0:40:06-An ALF plush from the 1986 sitcom ALF is sitting on top of the television
At 0:40:06-A Speak &Spell used in E.T. The Extra Terrestrial is lying on the shelf.
At 0:40:50-A Beastmaster poster is next to the mirror.
At 0:40:50-A Star Trek:The Motion Picture poster is in the corner of the room above The Emulator II Keyboard (you need to turn brightness full up to see)
At 0:40:50-A copy Analog Computing magazine #10 is leaning against the crate below Wade’s feet.
At 0:40:50-above the mirror is a Mayor Goldie Wilson election poster from Back To The Future. A Wil Wheaton election poster is across from Wilson’s one (if you recall Wheaton was the Vice President of the OASIS in the novel)
At 0:40:50-In a blue crate below Wade’s feet is Run D.M.C’s 1986 album Tougher Than Lever.
At 0:40:50-A Wargames poster is on the wall besides the mirror.
At 0:40:50- the first issue for Nintendo Power featuring Super Mario Bros. is located on a stack of magazines in Aech’s hang-out
At 0:40:50-A Big Trouble In Little China poster is located behind a chair in Aech’s hang-out.
At 0:40:50-A cutout of Tom Selleck’s face from Magnum P.I. Is posted on the wall in Aech’s hang-out.
At 0:40:50-A Cookie Monster cookie jar from Sesame Street is on the the bench in the hang-out
At 0:40:50-A poster for Labyrinth is next to the Tom Selleck cutout
At 0:40:50-A Cap N’ Crunch cereal box is laying on the counter next to an overturned Fruit Loops cereal box.
At 0:40:50-at the very far back of the counter is The Peltzer Peeler Juicer from Gremlins
At 0:40:51-Wade selects Prince’s Purple Rain outfit for a possible outfit for his date.
At 0:40:54-In the reflection of the mirror a Breakfast Club poster is seen.
At 0:40:57-Wade switches his outfit to Michael Jackson’s Thriller costume and even does the dance (one of my favourite artists along Queen who are unfortunately not referenced in the film)
At 0:40:57-Next to the mirror is the original poster for Mad Max.
At 0:40:58 White decals for Space Invaders are scattered on the pillar next to Aech.
At 0:40:58 The Pink Mattel Hoverboard from Back To The Future Part II is leaning against the wall.
At 0:40:58-On the coffee table are retro cans for Coca-Cola Pepsi and Tab (along with some D20 from D&D)
At 0:40:58-Below the coffee table is a E.T. The Extra Terrestrial VHS tape
At 0:40:58-The sword of omens from Thundercats is leaning against the wall next to the couch.
At 0:40:58-on the table next to the hula-girl lamp is the Golden Idol from Raiders Of The Lost Ark.
At 0:41:00-A Mad Max 2 poster is behind Wade when trying out outfits.
At 0:41:00-A Legend Of Zelda:A Link To The Past mini-poster is behind Wade.
At 0:41:02-Hanging from the ceiling is a miniature Thunderfighter from Buck Rogers In The 25th Century.
At 0:41:02-A Banner for 1980 video game Missile Command is on the wall behind Aech.
At 0:41:04-On the back of Wade’s punk outfit is the logo for 80’s rock band The Dead Kennedy’s
At 0:41:05-Wade switches to a Nick Rhodes outfit from the band Duran Duran.
At 0:41:07-David’s computer speaker from WarGames is on top of the cocktail cabinet.
At 0:41:07-in a pile of VHS tapes is a VHS tape for Breakin’ (or Breakdance) is on the floor.