--Azur Main--
--Iron Blood Dorm--
--Noon--
“So Seydlitz, how do you like Azur Main so far?” Hipper asks Wesser as they walk towards her and Eugen's shared room.
Wesser nods. “It is quite a nice base compared to back home. The Flying Fortress, Azur Germany, is more of a military stronghold compared to this piece of paradise.”
“Ja.” Hipper smiles. “The Commander here made sure we are comfortable with our living spaces, so we get to design our own dormitories. Being Iron Blood, we had to have a brewery here. It is very helpful and profitable.”
“I bet.” They both enter the room and Wesser could tell the stark contrast between her sisters' halves. On the left side was neat, organized, clean. That was Hipper’s side. The right side was unorganized with loose pieces of clothing and empty mugs, cans, and bottles across the floor. That was Eugen’s side. Hipper sighs heavily and begins picking up her sister’s trash, while Wesser looks at her sister’s desk. On Hipper’s desk was an unpainted B-25 Mitchell Bomber 1/32 scale plastic model. The bomber plane model was neatly constructed with the mold lines cleanly shaved.
“Lovely model plane, Hipper.” Wesser compliments her sister’s work. “I remember watching your live streams making this with Bataan and I-13 with Mikasa reading chat.”
Hipper confidently smiles as she puts down the trash bag. “Hehe! Thank you Seydlitz! And a few days from now I get to paint it!” She smiles, proud of her hobby. “It took so long to find a historically accurate model of this bomber. So many websites visited, but I found this beauty.” Wesser leans in to touch it, but Hipper stops her. “Don’t! It is pretty fragile!”
“Oh, sorry.” She backs away as the blonde cruiser relaxes.
“Sorry about that.” She apologizes to the light carrier. “I get a bit worried when anyone other than Bataan, I-13, Mikasa, or myself, handle my model planes.”
“It is fine.” The redhead carrier shakes it off. “I understand. You are living with Eugen.”
“Yeah…” Hipper groans.
“Hayello!” Walking into the room was the energetic Prinz Heinrich, carrying an intoxicated Prinz Eugen. The long white hair P-Class cruiser smiles as she enters. Hipper looked annoyed as Eugen looked up at her, her face plastered with breath smelling like alcohol.
“Hallo, my flat sister.” Eugen teases.
Steam blew out of Hipper’s ear. “DID YOU SERIOUSLY HAD A BEER AT THIS TIME OF DAY!?!”
“Well, I was showing Heinrich around and we had a few at the Iron Pub.” Eugen giggles as she stands on her own. Heinrich rocks back and forth, still full of energy. “And we are on a vacation of sorts. So lighten up or else you won’t grow.”
“WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT MY CHEST!?” Hipper lets out, her anger bursting from her small stature.
“Eugen.” Wesser gets between them. “Please don't fight.”
“Hehehe,” Eugen wraps an arm around her light carrier sister. “Okay fine, Seydlitz.” Wesser could smell the beer from her breath.
“Heinrich, how much beer did you guys drink?” Wesser asked her.
“Ummm,” Heinrich starts to count with her fingers. “About maybe thirty pints or something like that.” Hipper facepalms as Wesser lets out a heavy sigh.
Eugen delightfully giggles. “You know it is not a vacation without some alcohol~” She starts to stumble, pushing Wesser and herself into Hipper’s desk. As she bumps the desk, the B-25 Bomber model starts to wobble before falling. Time slows down for Hipper as she despairingly watches as the model falls from the desk and hits the floor, shattering into pieces. Wesser looks down at the model and then to Hipper, while Eugen just hiccups.
“Whoopsie,” Eugen says with a somewhat drunken smirk. “Sorry about that Hipper.” Heinrich notices Hipper balls up her fist. She reaches into the trash bag of empty beer bottles and takes one out.
“YOU FUCKING HARLOT!!!!!!!!” Before anyone could react, Eugen is hit square in the head with an empty beer bottle by Hipper. Tears stream down her cheeks as the glass bottle shatters on impact. Blood starts to drip from Eugen’s head as Heinrich runs over to restrain the furious sister. “YOU DISGRACEFUL PIECE OF SHIT SISTER! FOR COUNTLESS DAYS, I DRAGGED YOUR FUCKING ASS BACK FROM THE BAR WHEN YOU WERE BLACKOUT DRUNK! EVERY TIME FOR DORM INSPECTIONS I CLEAN YOUR TRASH HEAP OF A ROOM! I MADE SURE YOUR CLOTH ARE CLEAN! BED MADE! YOUR FUCKING EMPTY BEER BOTTLES AND TANKARDS AND MUGS THROW OR CLEANED! I HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR BULLSHIT! YOUR TEASING! YOUR MESSES!”
“Hipper, calm down!” Heinrich tells her, but the Admiral is not backing now. She continued to berate the stun silence Eugen as Wesser took her to get medical attention.
The last thing Eugen heard as she left Hipper was: “I AM LEAVING YOU!!”
---
--Medical Faculty--
--Afternoon--
“And there. That should heal in about a day or two.” Dr. Comfort informs Eugen as she finishes removing the glass shards from her head. Wesser watches from the side, seeing Eugen smile and nods along to the Doctor’s orders. Before long, Eugen walks out of the room, her face nonchalant as it were.
“Eugen.” Wesser catches up to her. “Eugen. Eugen. Schwester!”
“Was?” Eugen turns to her, her hands behind her head.
“Schwester, are you okay?”
“I am fine, Seydlitz.”
“But Hipper seems genuinely upset by your… carelessness.”
Eugen shrugs, seemingly not caring about the situation. “It is Hipper. Always keeping her emotions bottled up. I am sure when I return back to the room, it will be back to normal.” Before Wesser could say a thing, Eugen strides forth out the door.
The light carrier sighs, rubbing her forehead. “I doubt so.”
--
As Eugen returns to her room, she sees that something was off. On Hipper’s side, everything was gone, like her sister’s belongings. Her model planes, her aviation books, her laptop, her small flower pot, even her pink cute flower pillow; everything her sister own was gone! The only thing left on her side was the broken model of the B-25 sitting on her desk. Eugen sighs and lays on her messy bed.
“Back to normal?” Eugen looks up to see Wesser, leaning against the door frame. “Heard from Heinrich that Hipper grabbed her belongings and went to the Royal Navy Dorm. Said that she will be staying with Grenville and Glowworm.”
Eugen waved it off. “Whatever. Sooner or later Hipper will come back.”
“I don’t know Eugen. I think you broke her patience with you.” Wesser tells her. “Heinrich said that she had tears running down her face as she stormed off towards the Royal’s housing.”
“As I said, she will be back,” Eugen repeats as she lays in bed. “I am going to take a nap. See you at dinner, Seydlitz.” The heavy cruiser pulls up the blanket and lays her head on the pillow. Wesser rolls her eyes and closes the door.
--Sometime later--
“Argh~~” Eugen yawns as she wakes up from her nap. “Wie spät ist es? [A/T: What time is it?]” She sits up, stretching her arms up.
“A bit after nine pm.” Someone tells her.
“Hmmm?” She stops her stretch and turns to see the Commander, sitting on Hipper’s old bed, with a plate of food on the nightstands.
He smiles at her. “Good nap, Eugen?”
“Yeah.” She sighs. Knowing him, he probably knows what happened with her and Hipper earlier today. “My dinner?” She points to the plate.
“Yeah,” He hands it to her. She digs it and before long, the food was gone. After the meal, the Commander begins his talk. “Prinz Eugen, I heard from Wesser and Heinrich about what happened early in the day with Hipper.”
Eugen knowing shrugs, brushing it off. “It is Hipper. She will be returning back to this room in a day or two.”
“Eugen,” The Commander says with a look of concern. “Don’t brush this off, please. You should at least genuinely apologize to her for destroying her model. You may think this is not a big deal, but given how much Hipper gave time to drag from being drunk and other messes, it is the least you can do.”
“It will be fine,” Again, Eugen shrugs it off.
The Commander sighs. “Prinz Eugen. Please don’t be nonchalant about this. You may be a good tactician and fighter on the sea, but on base, you just hang out the bar, flirt and tease others, get into fights with Wales, a lot of things with either Hipper, Bismarck, Tirpitz, or me having to step in. I don’t like it. They don’t like it. Eugen, please, just fix the mistakes with your sister.” He looks at her with concern, yet stern eyes. It may work with some shipgirls, but for Eugen, it doesn’t work. She just smiles and nods.
“I’ll try tomorrow morning.” Eugen offered as she stood up. “I will see you later, Kommandant. Night.” Before the Commander could ask where she was going or confirm that she would do it, she leaves and heads to the pub to serve herself a pint or two.
--The Next Day--
“Alright, time to begin some light exercise,” Tirpitz says over the crowd of transfers. “I, Tirpitz of the Iron Blood will be leading these exercises as the Kommandant has fallen a bit ill as of late. There will be a few targets out in the bay. Calibrate your dummy rounds for all ranges, hit your targets, then you are dismissed for the day. Questions?” No hands or comments. “Get started.” As the crowd starts to disburse, Bataan and I-13 run over to Hipper.
“Hipper!” Bataan calls to the Iron Blood cruiser. “Are you ready for the model stream this weekend? I cannot wait to paint that B-25!”
“Yup!” I-13 smiles as they activate their riggings and head to a dummy. Hipper, still angry for what happened yesterday, unleashed her full firepower, annihilating the dummy ship. Both Bataan and I-13 watch as Hipper lets out several breaths.
“Everything all right, Hipper?” The aviation sub asked her.
Hipper turns to her friends and just sighs, her fists clenched. “Tell Mikasa that we have to reschedule that stream… the B-25 Bomber model… has to be repaired.”
“HUH?!/WHAT!?” Both Bataan and I-13 yell in unison. “WHAT HAPPENED?!!”
“My blood Schwester! THAT WAS [A/T: What in german]!”
---
As that was happening, on the shore, Belfast approached Tirpitz.
“Greeting, Lady Tirpitz.” The maid bows.
“Hallo Belfast,” Tirpitz nods. “How is the Kommandant?”
“Master is okay at the moment.” Belfast sighs. “But we don’t know what has happened to him to cause his ailments.”
“Time will tell.” The white queen of the north states.
“Yes, it will.” Belfast nods. “But the Master gave me some orders for you.”
“It is about Eugen and Hipper?” Tirpitz knowingly asked.
“Yes.” The maid looks at the exercise. “Where is Eugen?”
“I know where she is,” Tirpitz begins to walk towards the Iron Pub. “Belfast, could please cover me for the training exercise?”
“Of course.” Belfast bows as Iron Blood battleship strides to the Pub. Entering the faculty, she sees the white-hair heavy cruiser slump on the bar with a half-drunken tankard of beer in her hand.
“Mein gott.” Tirpitz shakes her head. “Prinz Eugen…” She summons her flag and using the butt of the pole, she pokes her side.
“Urgh…” Eugen’s eyes flicker open as she is being probed. “Was?”
“Eugen, you are late for training,” Tirpitz says to her.
“It is vacation time, Tirpitz. Ah mein head.” Eugen moans as the battleship grabs her by the collar and drags her to the training grounds. As they approach, most of the shipgirls at training have gone off to enjoy some time off, leaving only Tirpitz, Eugen, and Belfast. As they approach the water, the pair of shipgirls walk past by Hipper, Bataan, and I-13. Hipper turned her head away, pouting, as Bataan and I-13 shot daggers at the hungover Eugen as they walked away.
“What their deal?” Eugen wonders as Tirpitz leads her to a target dummy.
“Eugen, just fire at the targets.” Tirpitz orders. Eugen nods and summons her rigging. She hits the target easily, even hungover she still is a good shot. As they continued running the course, Eugen could feel the Queen of the North staring at her.
“Tirpitz,” Eugen confronted her. “Something on your mind?”
Tirpitz takes a breath before speaking to her. “Eugen. It has come to my attention that both you and Hipper, had… a disagreement. A terrible one in fact.”
Eugen pouts as she finishes the last target. “Well, that is putting it lightly. I just accidentally broke one of her model planes, that was it.”
“That was it?” The battleship rubs her forehead. “From talking to Hipper, it seems you broke your sister’s patience and love! The teasing, the drinking, even cleaning! Prinz Eugen, please try to make amends with your sister.”
Now this, was making Eugen annoyed. She strides up to the battleship, arms crossed. “First the Kommandant, and now you? If Hipper mad at me, fine. She always has a pole up her ass anyway.”
“Eugen!!” The battleship was astonished by the comment as the heavy cruiser went back to the dock. “I am not done with you!!!”
“Ja. Ja.” Eugen waved it off as she got back on dry land. She then heads back to the Iron Blood dormitory.
Tirpitz returns to the dock, where Belfast awaits her. “Sorry, but Eugen is a…. well, a harlot.”
Belfast nods. “I understand. From what Wales complains about during afternoon tea time, Eugen finds her own way to do her own things.”
“Ja.” Tirpitz takes off her cap and stretches her head. “I wish that Prinz Eugen knew the value of having a sister at her side. Bismarck, even though we didn’t have quality time together before the Initiative, we are regaining it now. I understand the Kommandant does not want Eugen to lose that family connection, but I cannot fix this sister problem.”
“Excuse, but I think I can be of some assistance.” Both the maid and queen of the north turn to see the 206 cm tall (~6ft 9) Iron Matriarch towering before them.
“Miss FdG/Friedrich.” Both of them say as the PR ship smiles.
“I think I know how to get Prinz Eugen to understand the importance of a healthy relationship with her sister.” FdG smiles. “May I?”
“Of course.” Tirpitz nods.
---
The next two days saw Eugen become more… restless. More booze bottles lay on the floor with her bedding tossed around. Loose cloth scatters in the room. Eugen has also run late for patrols, gatherings, and other important stuff. It was a bit frustrating because Hipper would force her in line for important dates… that scene still ran through her head when her older sister had enough of her bullshit. The tears in her eyes when she hit her… Eugen wanted to say sorry; however, her pride and own stubbornness stopped her and her teasing side went into auto-pilot to cope with this drama. Either way, to Eugen, there was nothing to fix this sister relationship.
As she lay in her dirty bed, a knock came at her door. “Ja?” Eugen lifts her head up.
“It is Roon, Eugen.” She hears from behind the door. “FdG, would like you to come to her room.”
“Great, the matriarch has gotten involved now,” Eugen whispered to herself. Knowing her luck, she will probably be disciplined by FdG for her behavior. The wrath of her hairbrush has stuck many Shipgirls bottoms. From the mighty Bismarck to the bombardment messenger Victorious. Even Gangut, those that was an accident because the PR ship thought it was Zeppelin being drunk. Regardless, Eugen knew this day would come. Her uncleanliness, her teasing, her luck simply ran out.
“Eugen?” Roon says from behind the door. “Will you be going to FdG’s room?”
Eugen shakes herself and quickly changes into uniform. Smells a bit funny, but it was better than making the matriarch wait. “Ja.” She opens the door and Roon stands there with a kind smile.
“Alright, follow me please.” Roon escorts her to the room. After a few minutes walking in silence, they arrive. Roon opens the door and ushers her in. Once Eugen was inside, the door closed behind her. Even though Iron Blood shipgirls are trained to show no fear… Eugen could not help but quake being inside the Iron Matriarch's bedroom. The room was grand. A canopy bed made of dark wood, covered in the finest fabrics. The wooden flooring polish. Several instruments hang on the walls. A grand piano sits in her chamber as well! The most prominent piece in FdG’s room was the fireplace. A brick fireplace that FdG personally requested when she made her room in the dorm. Each brick picked and placed by herself. And hanging above it was a painted picture of her sister ships: SMS Kaiser, SMS Kaiserin, SMS König Albert, SMS Prinzregent Luitpol, and herself, before their ‘retirement’.
“Prinz Eugen, my dear child.” Eugen feels a chill down her back as she turns to the fireplace and sees FdG sitting in a rocker, in front of the fireplace, brushing her hair. The Iron Matriarch smiles at her. “Please my dear child, you must be cold. Come! The fire is nice and toasted.” Eugen bits her lower lips as she approaches. “Come my dear child.” FdG pats her lap. The heavy cruiser silently obeys and sits in her lap. She was like a child in their mother’s lap. FdG smiles, pulling her into a small hug. Eugen was trapped within the Matriarch's grasp. No escape now. “Prinz Eugen, my dear child, you do not need to worry. I do not ask you here to punish you.”
Eugen lets out a sigh of relief. “Then why ask for me?”
“I want to tell you a story.” FdG begins to rock the chair as she looks up at the painting of her sisters. “You know about my schwester, Kaiser?”
“Ja, the old leader of the Iron Blood during the first global war before Bismarck.” Eugen nods. “A strong, tactical genius. Her leadership was second to done.”
Ja.” FdG smiles “Even during those trying times, Kaiser was like a mother to us… a strict one but loved us. She would teach us many things during our small time together like music and history. She loved music, always played Symphony No.9 whenever she could. Either by playing it on the violin, horn, or whatever she musters at the time. Back then, I always teased her about her musical taste. I gave her a hard time back then.” Eugen felt the PR ship’s hand on her head. “I was a bit like you back then.”
Eugen raised an eyebrow. “You? The Iron Matriarch was like me? I doubt that.” Must be a joke.
“Oh dear Eugen, I am not joking.” FdG giggled. “I always gave my sisters a hard time. I would tease them, especially Kaiser about her chest size. Always call her a Waschbrett or Kaiser Waschbrett. Every time I called her that, steam would come out of her like a steam whistle.”
The heavy cruiser stifles a laugh as she looks up at the painting of the sisters. They were all lovely ladies, but FdG had a pretty big size bust compared to the rest and Kaiser had a 180-degree plane chest, the smallest out of the bunch.
“So many flat nicknames and so many chases… Kaiser, meine schwester.” FdG continues with tears forming in her eyes. “Even though my teasing and being a hardass, Kaiser loved me. The countless times I complained to her about the littlest things, she always listened with care. When we were about to be ‘retired’, the biggest lie in my life, it was… unpleasant.” Tears streamed down her cheeks as she continued to recall that event. “My sisters accepted fate, but I could not. For days leading up to it, I cried and rocked in bed, skipping meals and just… being miserable. I started to blame myself and my sister for our fate. Only when Kaiser sat me down and said: ‘Friedrich, please, don’t cry. It is not our fault or anyone for the fate we have been given. We have to accept death at some point… and also meine schwester, I am sorry for the many scolding I gave you and forgive you for the many Waschbrett jokes.’ I asked her why forgive me for the names. She said that she does not want to die regretting not forgiving someone who wrongs them. That night showed me that it is better to forgive and apologize to those close to you for the bad you caused them. Kaiser always remarks to Kaiserin about my tormenting name-calling and jokes but forgives me for them to keep our sisterly bond. What I am alluding to Eugen… fix your wrongs with Hipper. I don’t want you to regret not apologizing to her before one of you is gone.”
Eugen silently nods as they both rock. Eugen leaned in closer to FdG, holding her as she had tears now in her eyes. “Friedrich… is it too late to apologize to her?” she asked her. “To apologize to Hipper?”
“Nothing is too late, child,” FdG assured her. “But a simple apology won’t be enough to mend your relationship with her. You must do something that shows you truly mean it.”
“Yeah… I will think about it.” Eugen sniffles as she cuddles more into FdG’s lap.
The Iron Matriarch smiles as she holds. “Take as much time as you need, my child. Take as much time as you need.”
--Late Evening--
Eugen sat on her bed, thinking about how to mend her relationship with her sister. First, she cleaned her room, removing all the empty tankards and pint glasses, empty alcohol bottles, and trash. She washed her dirty clothes and neatly folded them. She replaced the sheets and pillows, everything was organized, but the thought of how to apologize to Hipper.
“How will I do it?” She asked herself as she lays in bed. “How will I?” She scratched her head. “Argh.” She tossed and turned, restless. “How will I-” She stops and looks towards Hipper’s desk, seeing the destroyer B-25 bomber plane model. “She did say she Livestream with Mikasa…”
--The Next Day--
--Command HQ--
--Mikasa’s Model/Streaming Room--
--Before Noon--
“Ahhh…” Mikasa groans as she sets up for her model Livestream. “What am I going to do? Hipper painting the B-25 bomber plane was the main thing for this week's stream. What am I going to do to replace this?”
As she said that, she hears a knock at the door. Mikasa’s Model room was divided into two rooms: the display room with all the model warships and warplanes, and the streaming/construction room, where the model is made and painted and streamed to the internet. Opening the door to the streaming room, she is greeted with Prinz Eugen.
“Hallo, Mikasa.” Eugen smiles as Mikasa returns the greeting.
“Hello, Eugen, what brings you to my model studio?”
Eugen sighs. “Well…”
--Royal Navy Dorm--
Hipper sits at the desk as she plays on a simulation game, controlling and piloting a B-25 bomber. After moving out of her room, Grenville and Glowworm gladly accepted her into their room. Even though they were… hyperactive; Hipper respected them and cared for them as the two kindly looked up to her.
“Hey Hipper,” Glowworm hums as she forcibly tosses herself onto the cruiser’s lap. “Whatcha doing?”
“Ompoh!!” Hipper cough, the air force out of her lungs as Glowworm hits… like a warship. This abruptly caused Hipper to steer the bomber into the ground, ending the simulation.
“Argh,” Hipper sighs as she pats the destroyer on the head. “A warning next time, Glowworm. I swear your head is able to go through a ship’s hull.”
Glowworm giggles. “Sorry, Hipper.”
“It’s fine.” Hipper restarts the game. “I can’t get that mad at you.”
“Ahhhh~” Glowworm smiles as she watches her play.
“HIPPER!!” The cruiser and the destroyer jump, the bomber crashing again, as the door flies open with Grenville, Bataan, and I-13 running in.
“WHAT?!” Hipper yelled, quite annoyed with these interruptions.
“Turn on the stream!” Bataan exclaims. “Turn on the stream!”
Turning off her game, Hipper brings up the stream.
“Hello my fellow model builders!” Mikasa said with a smile in the studio. “We got a special stream for you tonight!”
“Probably going to be building a new ship today.” Hipper thought since she had to pull the B-25 painting for a later date.
“As you know, today was supposed to be Hipper painting her B-25 Mitchell Bomber model plane; however…”
“Let me.”
Hipper’s heart dropped to her toes as the camera shifted to Prinz Eugen, her sister, in the studio.
“HUHHHHHHH!!?!?!?!?!!?!?” Hipper screamed.
--Mikasa Model/Stream Room--
This… was a bit nerve-wracking. That was the thought running through Eugen’s head. Seeing the chat scroll-like torpedoes when she came on air and Mikasa sitting next to her, helping her… it was overwhelming.
“Hallo, everyone.” Eugen waved at the camera. “I am Prinz Eugen. And the younger sister of Hipper.” She saw the chat explode with excitement, some saying she was a beautiful and stunning and what not.
“Yes, we have a special stream for you guys today,” Mikasa says, trying to continue the stream. “Eugen, would you like to say what we will be doing?”
“Ja.” Eugen pulls out the broken B-25 bomber model plane. The chat blew up again and glancing at the scrolling text… some unsavory comments were exchanged.
“Alright alright, chat.” Mikasa used her scolding mother's voice. “Do not say those words on my stream. We are better than this.” That calms down the crowd. “Eugen, could you explain what happened?”
“Ja.” Eugen sighs. “I was a bit… drunk and accidentally knocked on my meine schwester’s desk in our shared room and… this was fallen over and broke. This… broke my sister’s patience with me and some she… left me.” She sighs. “Honestly, I feel bad that I did this to her. Hipper. Through her huhs and puffs, she is a sweet and loving sister. She was there for me when I am drunk, clean my room, get me into meetings and exercises. She is a great sister and I just…” Eugen looks directly at the camera. “Hipper, meine schwester, if you are watching this… I am sorry for everything. From the teasing to acting carelessly. I am sorry, and I hope I can fix your bomber here…” Eugen chokes up.
Mikasa gives the Iron Blood heavy cruiser a small hug. “I am sure your sister is watching.”
“Dankeschön.” Eugen recollects herself. “Now, how do we fix this?”
“Well…”
---
Hipper stares at the screen, red as a tomato, as she did not know what to do. Embarrassed that her sister, Prinz Eugen, talked about her private life or that she publicly apologized on a live stream.
“God meine schwester.” Hipper said with both anger and tears. She jumps off her seat and stomps off towards the studio.
--Several hours later--
“And done!” Mikasa cheers as they finish repairing the B-25 model. Working together, Eugen and Mikasa were able to fix the model bomber plane, using some greenstuff, plastic glue, and other modeling tips. What was once a broken plastic pieces became a complete B-25 Mitchell Bomber 1/32 model!
“Thank you, Mikasa for helping,” Eugen tells the old dreadnought.
“It is nothing.” Mikasa smiles. “Just happy to see this aeroplane model back in one piece.”
“Wonder if Hipper watched the stream?” Eugen wonders. Mikasa glances at the door entrance and points to the studio door. Eugen turns and sees Admiral Hipper, standing there with arms crossed and steaming out of her ears.
“SERIOUSLY EUGEN!?” Hipper screamed. “You seriously had to apologize to me on a live stream for everyone to see!?” Eugen runs up to her and gives her a hug.
“We will be returning shortly.” Mikasa went on break, stopping the capture, allowing the two sisters to have some privacy.
“What are you-” Hipper steamed, but Eugen smiles.
“I am sorry meine schwester. I am so sorry.” Eugen tells her, tears in her eyes. “I am sorry for the teasing and joking and using you as a calendar. I am sorry. I don’t our relationship to be sour and-”
“Eugen.” Hipper stops her, a bit teary eye herself. “Are you going to change your drinking habits, your cleaning habits, and everything else?”
“I will try,” Eugen tells her.
Hipper sighs. “Close enough.” She embraced her. “I forgive you and love you.”
“Thank you, meine schwester.” Eugen hugs her sister hard.
“You better change your habits or else,” Hipper says before they enter the studio again with Mikasa.
“I will try.” Eugen winks, causing her to roll her eyes, but smirk. “Mikasa, start the stream! Time to paint this baby!”
Outside the model room, FdG, Tirpitz, and Wesser watch as the two sisters finally made amends.
“At least they got back together again.” Wesser smiles as Tirpitz pulls her hat off.
“Ja. Everything is back to normal.” The battleship smiles.
FdG laughs. “A lovely scene.”
“YOU ARE DATING WALES AGAIN!!?!!” They all jump as they see Hipper yell at Eugen. “THIS IS YOUR FOURTH TIME!??!”
They all sigh. Wesser and Tirpitz shaking their heads and FdG politely giggling. “Eugen… habit die hard huh?”
--End--

This is an old thread of mine from a long time ago that I was hoping could finally be finished. Basically anything that might be in a dragon's hoard, from interesting magic items to things that add a little flavor to the dragon in question a list of what you might find in a dragon's hoard. Original link is here

1. A poorly sculpted statue of the dragon that apears to be made entirely out of gold except for a few gems for the eyes and other rare and valuable things that represent scales, wings, claws etc. It's about the size of a dog and when examined it appears to be magical in nature. If the dragon is dead it will have wounds resembling any large injurries the dragon has sustained, the gems in the eyes will turn pitch black. If the dragon is alive the statue will have small dents representing any damage resently taken, the gold will aplear to be the color of the dragons scales, and the gems in it's eyes will shile brightly(other effects may also be seen. Such as fuctioning wings and a breath weapon one fourth as powerful as the dragons). (By thestupidone51)
2. Letters sent by the dragon's former human paramour bound lovingly into a book. (Lysdexic12345)
3. Various pieces of complex machinery scattered about. The dragon was an amateur tinkerer. (Lysdexic12345)
4. Four broken dragon eggs, with no baby dragons in sight. Were the eggs 100 years old? 3 days old? Who knows. (Lysdexic12345)
5. A map to somewhere you don’t recognize. However, it looks very old. On the back is a drawing in crayon of a dragon, presumably the dragon who owns the hoard. When asked, the dragon says it was made by their son. (By malnox)
6. A tortle’s shell encrusted in gems and precious metals. It belonged to an old noble who was obsessed with jewels and jewellery. He died from heavy metal poisoning... and dragon fire. (By DungeonsNDysenteryDM)
7. The Ornate Knife of Lavish Excellence- A beautiful, spotless, golden, platinum, and gem encrusted knife. The gems make it uncomfortable to wield, but it looks gorgeous. If the knife gets dirty, it's holder gets -1 to all rolls until properly cleaned for at least 10 minutes, longer if it gets even dirtier. If it continues to get dirtier, the penalty increases to a maximum of, -5. The wielder of the knife also draws hostile attention of any nearby ankhegs, mud mephits, and any variant of earth elementals within a 5 mile radius, if there are any. (By Stolas95)
8. An old cookbook, either from the nearby destroyed kingdom or a long forgotten civilization. Once translated, there are 50+ recipes of easy weeknight meals for busy serfs. If rolling a high enough investigation, there is also three interesting potion recipes on the last few pages. (By less_hairy_bear)
9. A golden dragon statue, that when the command word is stated can scout ahead, attack, or take watch. Very shiny, so bad at stealth, attack is a spurt of molten gold equal up to a tenth of the statues mass, after nine or so attacks, the dragon is just the head of the statue which can still talk and observe, but cannot move. (By less_hairy_bear)
10. Seven large cats, of various colors and temperaments. Whether they be the dragon's pets, or parasites who scrounged on it's scraps I know not. But I am leaning heavily towards the pets. Some have magical collars that makes their jumps farther, or stealth stealthier (By less_hairy_bear)
11. Large brass or gold telescope that can not only see incredible distances, but can also see through most objects. Provided they aren't over 3 feet thick, when attuned, can also hear over the distance you see, making eavesdropping super easy (By less_hairy_bear)
12. A giant gold statue of the dragon posing, made by someone who the dragon captured to make it. On the base a message in a language the dragon didn’t speak reads “A smug Asshole” (By Fish_can_Roll76)
13. An old heavy wooden coin. When flipped (such as to play heads or tails) the symbols indicating the head or the tails change. Different kings and queens feature on the heads side and the tails shifts between various fantastical animals. (By Moss_the_Boar)
14. A pile of roughly 50 large stones, each about 9 meters tall and weigh 23 metric tons, the dragon stole the fucking Stonehenge (By Jens_Viking)
15. An oil painting portrait that changes it's subject based on whoever the first person to look at the canvas after the crack of dawn. (By DeathBySuplex)
16. A splendid magical sword/spear, that appears out of use after inspection : the blade is blunted, jagged and bent. (The dragon used it as a toothpick) (By Lymakk)
17. Deck of No Things: Just a pack of playing cards. Ordinary playing cards. Missing a 4 of clubs. (By LordSwitchblade)
18. An ornate box or velvet case of playing cards that looks exactly like the one that holds the Deck of Many Things... which is totally empty. The dragon just liked the container. Somebody else has the deck. (By Ninten_Joe)
19. A self-playing set of Azad "the most complicated game in the world"; think Jumanji meets the most grognardy game system imaginable. The game itself is sufficiently subtle and complex that a player's tactics reflect their own political and philosophical outlook. Each player must place two or more small items of value, like a copper, silver, gold, platinum piece, on the game board and then say the command word aloud which is "Would you like to play a game?" in Celestial. One piece is for you, and the remaining pieces represent the difficulty level of the opposition. The game features cards, tiles, miniatures, dice, spinners, etc. and the set is very ornate and intricately carved of ivory, jet, alabaster, ebony, jade, and gold inlay. Each loss, the pieces are incorporated into the board, each win and an amount equal to half of what was wagered, plus the original wager appears on the board. The base DC to win a copper wager is DC16. What the players might not realize is that the quality of the item degrades slightly with each win they make, down to minimum value of 100gp, at which point the game resembles a faded cardboard game box. (By MaxSizeIs)
20. The Oathbone: A dagger made from the fossilized bone of an ancient being. The dagger dates back to the stone age, and you can actually feel it's age by looking at it. ANY being that makes a solemn oath and seals it with blood spilled by the blade is magically forced to keep that oath. They will be physically incapable of backing out of their word, and if it's within their power to do so they will be compelled to complete the oath as it was stated. Only a god or higher being could hope to overcome the influence of the Oathbone, everything else is susceptible to its covenant. (By Kami-Kahzy)
21. A masterfully well crafted musical box made out of ivory. When the beautiful Ivory box is opened a finely crafted Dragonborn of corresponding color to the dragon twirls with a sword in his hands. The music casts a sleep spell on anyone who hears it. When brought into town the device can be given to its gnomish maker who’ll then reward the party. (By CrusaderKingsNut)
22. Throughout the encounter, the dragon converses with and makes comments to an unseen entity they address as Rufus. Afterwards, the party finds an empty suit of non-magical armor hidden away in a corner of the hoard. It is on a stand with a plaque that reads "Rufus". (By r13allan)
23. A small jar of magical boot polish, which will cast "Make Whole" on any worn or damaged boots, as well as a small kit with needle and thread which can magically do the same to clothing. A small pouch of Prestidigitation Powder will clean any item of clothing as well. The whole thing is inside a nondescript wooden case clutched in the arms of a very dead, and very stiff skeleton dressed in a Valet's uniform. A nametag on the uniform reads, "Bentley".(By MaxSizeIs)
24. A wondrously intricate wooden chair full of brass levers, and gem encrusted knobs. The chair is actually a broom of flight, but more comfortable. (By MaxSizeIs)
25. A 1 dram vial of liquid computronium. The vial scintillates with brief random pulses of colored light. With study, the pulses can be confirmed to have a pattern that will always be maddeningly elusive. After consumption, the drinker's Intelligence Bonus (for Intelligence Checks only) should be considered +2 higher, permanently. The drinker must, however, succeed on a DC17 Constitution Save or permanently have disadvantage on either Strength or Constitution Saves (Player's Choice). (By MaxSizeIs)
26. An ornate sarcophagus covered in gems, stones, and precious metals. It is completely melted shut. When finally pried open, a perfectly preserved adventurer corpse on top of a much older skeleton is inside. (By A_Heckin_Goblin)
27. A gold embossed, jade handled, cold iron seal that weighs 10 pounds. The seal magically changes with each user that holds it, updating the seal into a unique and intricate pictoglyph in an ancient dialect of Celestial or Draconic that, when translated, lists the true and complete identity of the wielder, in so far as an "official and unique" identifier that can never be changed and follows the user through reincarnations. Along with the seal is an ivory urn of a red-carmine colored powder that when combined with the seal and pressed to an object, affixes the object with a permanent arcane mark in the shape of the seal. (By MaxSizeIs)
28. A Jade cylinder approximately 4 inches in diameter and 10 inches tall, intricately carved with bas relief of the founding of an empire and uncounted multitude of subjects performing all sorts of tasks. The detail work is incredibly minute and seems to change each time the canister is rotated, with the scenes updating "forward" in time if turned clockwise and "backwards" in time if turned counterclockwise. (By MaxSizeIs)
29. A crystal sphere in which is housed the skull of an evil lich. Four holes have been drilled in the sphere as if they were meant to be used as a bowling ball. The lich's eyes glow when someone holds the sphere. They glow brighter when the sphere is used as a bowling ball. There is no sign of a bowling-alley anywhere nearby. (By MaxSizeIs)
30. An exquisitely taxidermized Draco-sphinx in a "regal" and "noble" posture with an engraved gold nameplate declaring it to be named: "Lord Fluff-kins Prissyfoot Jenkins Poof-poof Twist-tail IV". It has been placed in a position of prominence. The eyes have been replaced with gigantic, highly faceted, nearly priceless gems of painite that are 10,000 carats each. (By MaxSizeIs)
31. An entire galleon half buried in coins, evidently snatched from the sea with sailors included by the dragon. (By Lysdexic12345)
32. A famous statue that was stolen from the town square of a city. (By Lysdexic12345)
33. The dragon's prized snow globe collection, lovingly cared for and in mint condition. (By Lysdexic12345)
34. The dragon's automated defense system of 5 mimics disguised as chests mixed among the loot. (By Lysdexic12345)
35. The hoard is literally inside of a dragon sized swimming pool..... you honestly can't blame the dragon (By Lysdexic12345)
36. A chest full of toys such as tin soldiers, dolls, etc. All of them are covered in dust and look like they haven’t been touched in years. When asked about it, the dragon will suddenly go all quiet and melancholy and refuse to elaborate further. (Sobek6)
37. A golden statue of an adventurer, apparently frozen mid conversation. At [insert oddly specific time] every [day/night/second Tuesday] the statue turns into a living adventurer. The adventurer is cursed to exist as a statue, only returning to normal every [insert parameter] for [insert oddly specific amount of time]. The dragon took the statue without knowing of its true nature long ago. They enjoy talking and having tea together whenever possible. The dragon may consider the adventurer their only true friend and would be very upset to lose them. (Brogan9001)
38. a life-size statue of a celestial, made of solid silver. it is frozen in a position of reluctant defiance, its wings spread and its face the very picture of fear and bravery. maybe it's not a statue... (-peachmilk-)
39. A Child-sized Ornate Gold Coffin, (1500-2000 gp value). (disturbednadir)
40. A thin golden circular disc the size of a dinner platter with a circular hole an inch across in the center. The surface is extremely polished and gleams with an rainbow iridescence in the light. It is easily scratched, and devalued when one does so. (MaxSizeIs)
41. A 30 foot long chain carved from ivory, with links two inches across, ending in a closed collar made of adamantine, sized for a gargantuan creature. Each link is etched and inset with platinum wire, with a unique name in an obscure and truly ancient dialect of Celestial. (MaxSizeIs)
42. An adamantine anvil the size of a house, weighing in excess of 750 tons. The base of the anvil has melted, leaving the top angled at a strange angle. The anvil is much hammer-beaten, and is covered in a massive number of untranslatable runes. (MaxSizeIs)
43. A finely faceted, crystalline egg, five feet across, containing a nested set of the platonic solids made from purest gold from the Celestial planes, and etched with astronomical symbols. It is cradled in a wrought iron holder. (MaxSizeIs)
44. A simple set of mirrors on wooden stands, set at least six feet apart, facing each other. Any one who looks in either mirror only ever sees the back of their head. Each night, for 3d6 weeks later, the viewer has vivid dreams and nightmares, full of omens and portents. Each dream or nightmare is either absolutely devastatingly true, or so devilishly false as to shake one's worldview to the very core. (MaxSizeIs)
45. A tiara of mithril, tantalum, and platinum with sharpened, dagger-like protrusions jutting out at least ten centimeters long in a corona (imagine the Statue of Liberty). Seven astral diamonds, the centermost 1 cm across, adorn the tiara. The crown is the functional equivalent of a magic staff and has ten levels of spell charges and may be used to cast the following spells (if the wielder is capable of casting that spell natively): Clone (Lvl 8, uses 8 charges), Regenerate (Lvl 7, uses 7 charges), Magic Jar (Lvl 6, uses 6 charges), Soul Cage (Lvl 6), Blight (Lvl 4), Magic Circle (Lvl 3), and Revivify (Lvl 3); regaining one expended charge per day. The wearer may expend a spell slot of the same level to recharge a number of charges, and or may up-cast a spell from the tiara if there are enough charges remaining, the upcasted spell uses a number of charges equal to its new level. ( MaxSizeIs)
46. A three headed, medium sized, statue of a seated feline made from what appears to be Onyx, Black Marble, and highly polished Black Basalt, in a highly stylized form. The breed of feline appears to be a very short-haired variety. Each head of the feline is in a different pose, which changes whenever no-one is looking at it. One head always has three eyes and two demonic horns, and one head has an eye made from a brilliantly cut astral Diamond with swirling flecks of pigeon-blood ruby within as inclusions. Occasionally, the cat statue has tentacles similar to those of a Displacer Beast. ( MaxSizeIs)
47. A kinetic sculpture twelve meters across, made from suspended plates of mithril, hammered bronze, and gold-leaf, with supporting bars of adamantine. At times the structure resembles a flight of dragons. The structure moves with the slightest breeze, nearly silently, except for the nearly inaudible rasp of leathery wings flapping. When a powerful light source is placed within, it casts a shadow-story of a dragon defeating all-comers on the walls. ( MaxSizeIs)
48. A set of scrolls in an ornate ivory holder carved with images of pineapples and angelic and diabolic versions of cherubim frolicking. The scrolls are magically enchanted to display, in vivid color and intricate, illuminated majesty: a thorough chronicle of the past, present, and most importantly, future life-story of whoever is attuned to it; as if it were them at their most grandly heroic or villainous. The scrolls are prone to blatantly airbrush the protagonist in the most "fan-fiction-y" way, elide boring parts, and cannot actually foretell the future, only projecting a version based upon what the scrolls can magically read from what one remembers (or imagines) their life (and the characters within it) to be. The scroll is very nearly infinitely long, and seems to record continuously, resembling a very medieval, campy comic-book with a nearly infinite number of issues. Reading ahead is possible, and those issues get tagged as "non-canonical". Once "written" it is not possible to overwrite the issue, except via a subsequent "retcon" issue. Much of the scroll currently details the life-story and history of the Dragon from which the item was taken, and man-oh-man... the reader will be lost for words describe the self-aggrandizement within. ( MaxSizeIs)
49. Seven porcelain urns, each the size of a medium human, from a now extinct kingdom. The urns are extremely rare. They contain a gritty dust that is actually a mix of equal parts industrial grade diamond, high grade residuum, gold filings, ghost salts, and ground bone, which the dragon would take a pinch of each meal to help with digestion, help with heartburn, and give just the right edge of anger for peak performance and a nice, brooding slumber. A skilled alchemist and wizard, teamed up, could (with luck, time, and a great deal of infrastructure) extract a fair amount of gold and material components from the urns, provided they get past the screeching undead infesting it. (MaxSizeIs)
50. A magical, decorative koi pond, taking the form of an angular, floating Klein bottle that flexes and gyres slowly to some inscrutable pattern. The water it contains defies gravity, and smoothly flows like a peaceful, sunlit, babbling brook with a gravel bottom, a small grassy bank, and other appropriate flora and small fauna that would occupy such an environment. The brook contains a small school of ornamental koi fish, some of which are quite large. Each fish's scales are actually gold pieces. Any copper, silver, gold, or platinum peice deposited in the water becomes a fish of a size dependent on value. Over time, if fed and cared for, the fish gain size and value, slowly. Careful study and prolonged observation may reveal the gold-plated skeleton of the Wizard that created this magical art installation, ritually pinned and eternally drowned, slowly moving with helpless, unending undeath. The small fish seem to love swimming between the bones. (MaxSizeIs)
51. A gold plated statue of a seated, meditating monk. Inside it contains a Lich or body of some other Sentient Undead Humanoid, trapped in astral form, bound and captive, tortured with the knowledge that it will never be freed to the Material plane. The dragon would talk to it; it was a good listener. (MaxSizeIs)
52. Goblets of Shattering: A set of at least seven fragile musical crystal goblets. Up to once per hour, when all are played at once (A standard action), it can cast the spell Shatter against selected targets within range. Roll a d6. On a 1, this causes one of the goblets to break as well, but the damage dealt by the spell is doubled. If all the goblets are broken, the magical set no longer functions. A DC25 Int or Wis check, an day or casting and puzzlework, and the spell Mending, plus 100gp per attempt can repair one broken goblet. (MaxSizeIs)
53. Scrubadub Tub: A heavy gold plated metal washtub weighing 300 pounds. Six feet long, three feet across and three feet deep. When mostly filled with clean warm water, any object or creature placed within the tub is cleansed as per the spell Prestidigitation. It also smells strongly of either rosewater, jasmine, orange blossom, mint, smoked sausage/bacon/steak, sandalwood, patchouli, or lavender (roll a d8), for up to one hour. (MaxSizeIs)
54. A rare magical bottle of "flavor-anything" sauce. The bottle is never empty, and never goes bad. The flavor is interesting, unique, and addictive. It is also hundreds of years old and not able to be replicated. (MaxSizeIs)
55. A fine set of masterwork, elven, boxwood combs, smoke aged and hardened for 30 years, and inlaid with fine gold wire in a floral pattern. The combs come with a fine black boxwood case, lacquered and inlaid with gold wire in a matching pattern. On closer inspection, the inlay is a stylized form of an elven family crest that hasn't been in active use for over 600 years. (MaxSizeIs)
56. A collection of nine large-sized black porcelain vases with fine white scroll work, that have been deliberately broken and then artistically repaired with gold via the kintsugi method. A medium sized creature could easily hide inside each one. They are easily 2000 years old. (MaxSizeIs)
57. The title to an "small" estate. It is signed by a minister of a nearby kingdom, that died 200 years ago. Surprisingly the estate is still held in trust by an agent of the Dragon, it has fallen into disrepair and quite the tax-bill, however. (MaxSizeIs)
58. A set of ornamental nesting dolls weighing 300 pounds. The inner-most dolls are only 1 inch high, made of gold, then silver, then copper, then of carved jade, then 1d4 ivory dolls, 3d6 of lacquered smoked boxwood. After that, the dolls are fine porcelain glazed with green celadon of varying hues from jade to black. There are 12d6 dolls in total, with the final doll being 5 feet tall. The motif is of various dragons, and their eggs, the largest one being a multiheaded dragon. (MaxSizeIs)
59. An iron plated doorway five feet wide and ten high, and stone frame weighing one ton; all placed on a roll-around cart. Runes an eighth of an inch high cover every inch. Open the door and on the other side is a vast poplar forest, with the perpetually golden canary yellow leaves of fall. The forest is "infinite", and contains highly potent amounts of negative planar energy, although enough positive energy remains to be over-all neutral. Each time the door is opened it takes one to a random place within the forest, but within a few miles of where it was last opened. When closed (and it closes automatically exactly one minute after opening, DC20 STR to prevent closing) the door is gone. The runes on the door are difficult to decipher (DC25, even with magic), but tell of a forest where the leaves are literally gold, and how to get there. News-flash, it involves child sacrifice at midsummer, and making a deal with an evil power. Maybe if you're lucky, you'll teleport exactly to the golden leaves. (MaxSizeIs)
60. An magic axe that can only be wielded by one who will die by its blade. It looks quite crude, but is very potent, magically. (MaxSizeIs)
61. A magical ayam cemani rooster in a small golden cage shaped like a carriage. It lays small golden eggs worth 1d6 gold peices (one per day) to do so, it must be fed with grain upon which a person has died by violence, or the laying stops. One dead sentient makes about 1d100 eggs. (MaxSizeIs)
62. A matched pair of life-sized terracotta camels. They bear runes at least 3 times older than the dragon, but don't do anything special. (MaxSizeIs)
63. 1d6 terracotta chestnuts. When buried and watered with a drop of blood and the sweat from one's brow, they grow either a dry-fit stone wall 5 feet thick, 10 feet high, and 50 feet long (in the shape desired by the user), or a tunnel thru solid stone of similar dimensions. The process takes one full round. (MaxSizeIs)
64. A polished stone statue of a dog the size of a 10 foot cube with the magical abjuration and necromantic effect of Turn Undead DC17 in a continuous 200 foot radius. It doesn't seem to do anything else, otherwise. (MaxSizeIs)
65. An earthenware dovecote in the shape of a beehive that fits within a 5 foot cube and weighs 150 pounds. An attuned user may, once per day, while adjacent to the dovecote summon a swarm of Stirges (CR6) for up to one hour. The user has no control over the swarm, except will not be attacked. If used in this manner, once per day, the dovecote will produce randomly either 1d6 Healing Potions, 1d4 Greater Healing Potions, 1d2 Superior Healing potions, a 20% chance of a Greater Healing Potion, or a 20% chance of nothing. The stirge swarm must be feeding for the entire hour for this to occur. (MaxSizeIs)
66. A large urn the size of a human with the word Mom carved into it (Lysdexic12345
67. A few large piles of dragon dung (Lysdexic12345)
68. A large block of never-melt-ice (Lysdexic12345)
69. A golden magic harp enchanted to play by itself once the command word is spoken (Lysdexic12345)
70. A Cubic Gate (Lysdexic12345)

(i'm so sorry for the 1 month hiatus, a lot of things going on in my life, i had no time or will to continue for a while, but now i'm back! i promise.)
Once again we accompany the story of Ktaryle, an alien researcher who left her community to study the galaxy beyond the reaches of the Federative Galactic Unity (FDU) to study uncataloged life, and found an interesting life form while searching an abandoned spaceship.
With that quick summary I welcome back those who have been waiting for me to continue this series and thank you for your support. I plan to make these summaries shorter so i don't make you guys read much of this before reading the actual story. Like always criticism is welcome and I hope you like this, enjoy!
(1 kyr = 1,5 year) (1 kit = 1 day) (1 kiv = 2 hours) (1 gly = 160 cm, 1 m ≅ 3 gly )
Previous Episode
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-Initiating log
-Log designation: The test
“I'm ready to start testing upon this creature, after analysing what was indeed some form of clothing that i assume was put on the creature by the previous research team for no discernible reason, i've heard it loudly grunt from its room. It may have been in the previous vessel unconscious for a vast amount of time, so it must be hungry, right now i'm going to test what it eats, it concerns me the fact that the denture in his mouth resemble both predatorial and vegetative teeth, although the former is more lacking so i'm going with the assumption that, hopefully, it will eat the vegetative bio material that i have, otherwise i will have to somehow acquire meat as fast as possible as to not starve the poor thing… ugh, i wish it isn't a predator, it would put me in larger risk when dealing with it and… i really don't want to deal with organic bodily fluids staining the vessel.”
-End of log.
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It is time, i’ve prepared the bowl with raw vegetative biomaterial, lets see if the little creature eats it, i walk down the vessel hallway to the personal chambers section until i get to the door… the fear creeped upon me again, the creature was behind that door, im unaware of any intentions it might have, the little creature may be tiny but it can prove itself dangerous, but i have to do this otherwise how will i learn anything of it? I once again entered the chamber, it resided inside looking curiously at the medical kit i left, the expected curiosity of a simple creature, it then started staring at me again.
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Oh my god it's here again, what does the purple thing want? yes i'm calling it “purple thing” because that's how much i can describe it. But it's here again and now… with a bowl? it looks like a bowl and there's stuff inside of it.
It put the bowl in front of me, approaching hesitantly, i look inside of it and there is.. stuff in it, i can't quite recognize what it is but it looks like fruits and vegetables, loads of reddish cabbage looking leaves, some blue apple sized strawberry looking fruits with spiky leaves on the top… does it want me to eat it? Can I thrust this purple thing? Although… i don't remember the last time i ate some actual food… this cant be worse than the green paste stuff right?
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The creature continues to stare hesitantly at the raw biomaterial, analyzing what i put in front of it, does it even know its food? I mean the food where he lives may be vastly different from this, everything where he lives might be very different from anything I've ever seen… or maybe my worries were right and he is indeed a carnivore. I will try and set him in the right direction, maybe consuming some of it will convince it that it's safe to eat? I do like to eat some of the fruits when i'm not in the mood for nutrition paste, let's try and eat it to see if the creature gets the idea.
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Huh, it is taking one of the spiky strawberry fruit of the bowl, what is he goin- WHAT THE HELL, WHY DOES IT HAVE A FACE WIDE VERTICAL MOUTH FULL OF TEETH, HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK. Ok, ok, i need to calm down, it's an alien, it's not supposed to be like anything you seen before and mY GOD IT'S TAKING BITES OUT OF IT I CAN'T STAND LOOKING AT THIS CREEPY ASS VERTICAL MOUTH SHIT.
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After consuming one of the g’niv fruit, which is my favorite fruit, I looked down to see the creature backed up and is now gazing even more, his eyes widen looking at me eating… It looks frightened, but why would that be? I then pick up another g’niv fruit and with my stronger arm i offer him, the creature is very hesitant at first, but it then grabs the fruit, looking at it curiously… and takes a bite out of it, and another one, and another, and eats the fruit fully! This is so exciting, and relieving as this confirms that not only it will eat what i have, but that it isn't a carnivore, at most a scavenger with those crafty hands of his… it has opposable fingers, could it be that it can perform simple tool use? maybe it means it climbs! Already i have things to take notes from its odd physiology, but only observation will confirm any theories of mine, it's a shame I can't see him in its natural habitat as it would be way more informational.
After completing the first fruit i thought it would eat just 2 more fruits and maybe some of the gli’k leaves i put together in the bowl, but it didn't, in fact it ate all of it, so fast, how could it? The surprising part wasn't that it ate the entire bowl of vegetative biomaterial but rather that it ate so quickly! For how much time was he unable to eat? He ate like he hadn't in kyts, his facial expression changing, i couldn't really know what it meant.
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Still a bit freaked out how the purple thing eats, but BOY these fruits and veggies sure are delicious, the red leaf things are a bit sour but very pleasant to the taste, the spiky apple sized strawberry are so sweet! They slowly melt in my mouth with deliciousness… literally, as i chew they begin to melt in my mouth for some reason, the leaves too. I hadn't had this amount of flavour in so much time, the purple thing looked weird to me after i finished the bowl, however the bowl wasn't that big and i sure wasn't full yet.
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It holded the bowl with its hands and put it up to me, in a very demanding manner, it wanted more? More than it already ate? it ate an medium sized meal bowl, that would be sufficient for an entire kyt for any standard species, is it THAT hungry?
Then again, this is an uncataloged species, i don't know how its metabolism works or how much activity it does… I again question myself because of my lack of knowledge from this little creature, it has a very little size, so maybe it's a growing infant? That would explain its demand for food, so be it, i will feed it another bowl and that should be sufficient for the rest of a Kyt.
After bringing another bowl to the chamber, i come to find the creature which once again stares at me, although i can't read this creature’s expressions i gather that it looks a bit expectant, awaiting the food probably, this suggests that this creature is intelligent enough to have basic emotions, which is quite intriguing. As it sees the bowl I'm holding however, it starts baring its teeth at me! I panic a little at this, and quickly give him the bowl with my psy emission as of right now i fear approaching the seemingly aggressive creature and rather just have the bowl float to him, this seems to rather grab its attention as he keeps looking at the bowl as it approaches it, then when bowl finally lands, he, with no hesitance, eats the entirety of its contents in a manner similar to how he did the first time, truly it must be hungry to eat so much so quickly and to be so aggressive about it.
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I was really excited to eat another bowl of fruits and veggies, so much so that i let out a smile, which made the purple thing back up a bit. Why was he scared all of a sudden? Well i assumed he was scared at least, and then he dropped the bowl and… made it float??? Well apparently it can make things other than himself float, godam purple jedi. The bowl then landed in front of me and i ate all of it, so tasty, im soooooo full now, kinda bored tho.
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It seemed satisfied with its food, it sat on the ground looking around the chamber, what could be going on inside its cute little head? I stayed with him for a while as i needed to take notes of its visible physiology, for now i analyzed its anatomy, two long arms the end of which had a grabbing hand with 5 fingers, one of which was an opposable finger indicating tool use or climbing ability, he had two legs, most of which were covered by an either dark colored outer skin or was another piece of clothing applied by the previous researchers, at their end it had locomotive organs with an matching amount of fingers to the hands, although shorter.
It’s head was most interesting, in its top it had a great amount of brownish fur, which the rest of its body lacked, i grew curious what the function of the fur may serve, maybe they need that specific part of the head to remain more heated than the rest of its body? Maybe it has mating functionality, as to attract the opposite gender? This creature is a really curious creature, i wonder what planet it comes from.
But that's enough for today i think its a good time to res-
“System alert, a vessel is fast approaching our current position”
Oh no, what could that be? i better get back to the bridge, why would a vessel be fast approaching a tiny vessel like mine in unidentified space? I hope it's not pirates.
After hastily getting to the bridge, i see that this other vessel is making communication attempts, i accept them as is per vessel interaction protocol, the screen in front of me then displays a tykltir wearing a light armored jumpsuit, he then says in space common:“Helloooo frieend, would it be so nice of you to say, what you have in that cargo of yours?”Of course it was pirates, what else would it be other than pirates? This unregistered space out of FDU territory, there is nothing BUT pirates in here. I then desperately try to program a jump, i desperately need to escape this situation.
“No no no, don't you think you can escape this young lady, you will make a nice addition to my collection, i know many who would want a psy emitter slave.”
I dreaded to see what i saw, my vessel was being pulled towards theirs via tractor beam technology, their vessel was heavily modified and much stronger than mine, there was nothing i can do, will i become a slave? I don't want to be a slave, i've read about the infamous tykltir slave markets, the torturous environment the slaves are put through, what am i going to do?
________________________________________________________________________________
For some reason the purple thing kept staring at me, tinkering with an ipad looking thing with his tiny chest arms, it has tiny chest arms, how didn't i notice it before, it's like a xenomorph queen tiny chest arms, but that really was the only xenomorph looking feature in it, it hadn't any of the classic xenomorph blackish biomechanical body.
Was it taking notes of me? Well, if that was the case it was already more friendly than the spider lizards, it atleast was face to face with me, and not divided by a tube. This room was only somewhat more spacious than the tube but it was already way more comfortable, i had a large bed, i had a bed, you know how hard it is to sleep in a small tube in a cold floor made of what i can assume was metal? Not to mention that i think i've developed a bit of claustrophobia from that horrific experience.
Then what i think was an alarm started ringing from the ship, it was enough to get the purple things attention, man i really should come up with a better nickname for it, after the alarm there was an computer voice saying something in alien i have no idea what, i knew it was some sort of speech since some of the sounds repeated themselves in a pattern of what i could only describe as different tunes of soft clicking. The purple thing hastily got out of the room as if in a hurry, it got so fast it forgot to close the door, i was worried of what it could be so i followed, and after walking through a corridor with various doors, the purple thing entered a door at one end of the corridor, inside of it was large room in front of it a enormous windshield, with digital panels with weird symbols and buttons everywhere, this had to be some kind of bridge or cockpit.
After the purple thing pressed some buttons and tinkered with some of the weird symbols in the digital panels, a large holographic screen appeared in front of it. Now remember how i said that the purple thing didn't look like a xenomorph? Well in the screen appeared what i can only describe as literally a xenomorph with tusks, ok it had some minor differences like its slightly pale body, the uncountable eyes on its long forehead, its forearm had what i can assume was a blade, at the very least a sharp spike. It said something in fast clicking noises, when it said it i could see the purple thing starting to tremble, it was once again thickening with the panels, and then, an even louder alarm than the other one before started ringing, the same computer voice then said something in the same alien gibberish it did before, after that the holographic screen was turned off, the purple thing turned around, and as it saw me saying it said some gibberish in alien looking with his eyes widened, at least this gibberish i could recognize as a some kind of foreign speech differently from all the clicking going around, was it surprised? Did it not notice i was accompanying him?
________________________________________________________________________________
“Wha-, how did you get over here?”
I said to myself in surprise, well, i said it to the creature, but it's not like it was going to understand me, oh my i'm already treating it like a pet, but that was not important… Wait, did i leave the door open? of course i left the door open, how else would he have followed me? It's not like he can pass through walls… i think.
Focus Ktaryle, now it's not time for that, you need to focus on the task at hand, you need to somehow escape the tractor beam, or at the very least survive the attack… how? How am i supposed to do that? The only weapon i have is this simple energy disruptor for self defence, they are pirates, slaving pirates, they certainly have weapons much more powerful than this.
Should i surrender myself? If i don't resist i may not have so much bad of a fate... what am i saying of course i will, no i must impede the docking, its the only wa-
“Docking has been requested”I panicked, i was panicking, i was desperate.
“NO, no no no, computer negate docking request!”
“Major damage on docking port”
They are here... there is nothing i can do, they are brute forcing their way inside, never have i thought i would end up as a slave. All my work, my studies, all that to end up as a slave? No, that can't be, i can't accept this… WAIT, THE CREATURE, how could i? what will they do to the poor thing? If it acts so menacing like it did before they may kill it on sight!

Hello HFY, the next in my series of what happens when humanity's special Gift in the stars is to have children with whoever they damn well please. As with the prior 13, I welcome constructive criticism.
Unlike normal, I'm writing this foreword section after writing the "story," just a document this time, because when I started I didn't realize how big JUST this document would be and that this alone would take me more than a week to write. Consider this a half-story.
Don't worry, #14 will stick to the partial story, partial document style.
As always, all you humans and mixed breeds: Keep those comments exciting!
Author Wiki | Series Wiki | World Anvil
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Physical Description Report OS-1201-T240

Translated to English by Aaron Thomson (Document OS-1201-T240) Translated to Russian by Darya Popov (Document OS-1201-T241) Translated to German by Poldi Gerig (Document OS-1201-T242) Translated to Italian by Alonzo Muraro (Document OS-1201-T243) Translated to French by Nadia Blanc (Document OS-1201-T244) Translated to Chinese by Guiying Yuen (Document OS-1201-T245) Translated to Japanese by Yori Matsumoto (Document OS-1201-T246) Translated to Itari Imperial Common by Itar'em'kan'el (Document OS-1201-T253) Translated to Itari Republic Common by Itar're'lif'il (Document OS-1201-T254) Translated to Wresh Trade Speak by Cassandra Ferrell (Document OS-1201-T255)
English Translation Updated by Cassandra Ferrell (Document OS-1201-T240)
[Translator notes added in square brackets]
For more translations, please contact either your local Unity Diplomatic Official or the Unity Offices of Organic Sciences.
Maintained by the Unity Offices of Organic Sciences, Member Species Division. A changelog can be found in Appendix 2.
Information pulled from various New Species reports, biological sciences reports, and multiple species' codices. A list of references can be found in Appendix 1.

Itari

Classification: Bipedal, Feline [the original yyyn word is based on appearance, not species family] Biological Role: Omnivorous ambush predator
Physical Description
Itari are a fur covered biped with 2 arms, 2 legs, and a head, with hands that possess 3 clawed fingers and 2 clawed thumbs, which are on opposing sides of the palm. Their heads possess 4 forward facing eyes, one pair which possess a vertically slit pupils and are adept at seeing in the dark and at close ranges with the second, higher pair having round pupils that function well in bright light, at a long distance, and that are capable of seeing the full Unity Standard color spectrum. The males average from 133 to 166 USL [~200 to 250 cm] in height, while the females average from 115 to 145 USL [~170 to 220 cm]. Itari typically have thin tails that almost touch the ground when resting, but other shapes and sizes of tails have been observed. Both sexes possess a Unity Standard Body Ratio of 0.9 to 1.1 [wiry, by human standards].
Itari fur commonly comes in patterns of two colors with multiple shades of the color across the body. The most common colors are purupu [best translation is sandy brown], red, black, and green. The most prized fur pattern among the itari is a green coat with black stripes and black swirls around the eyes.
The itari follow the Unity Standard Sexual Configuration of male and female. Hermaphrodites are common enough to mention that they occur among the itari, but seem to be formed from conditions during sexual development within the womb rather than genetics and appear to be perfectly fertile.
Gift
The itari possess the ability to determine the impact of decisions and technologies on the local environment. This is usually described by the itari as seeing the effects 0.1 cycle [~20 years] from now and then seeing the effects 1 cycle [~206 years] from now.
Human Half-Breed
Known as itarians, half-itari typically have itari hands and ears, 2 vertically slit eyes, a tail, fur on the arms, legs, and tail with hair on the head. Fur and hair color matches.
Itarians can only see environmental impacts 0.1 cycle [~20 years] into the future. Some report being able to tell if someone is going to be a good lover simply by touching them.
3 out of every 4 itarians are born as hermaphrodites.

Wresh/Wreshanna

Classification: Hexapedal, Vulpine [the original yyyn word is based on appearance, not species family] Technological Level: Advanced fusion energy, early plasma weaponry, average anti-grav, early FTL Biological Role: Omnivorous scavenger
Physical Description
Wreshanna are fur covered hexapeds with 6 legs that end in hard paws with 3 claws. Their heads have four tall, pointed ears, each of which is capable of rotating 0.375 revolutions from the resting position [comes out to 270 degrees of rotation from one extreme of rotation to the other] and two complex, forward facing eyes with horizontally slit pupils and highly flexible lenses that are capable of abnormally good long distance vision while seeing the extended Unity Standard color spectrum. They tend to stand 55 to 77 USL [~80 to 115 cm] at the shoulder and 150 to 180 USL [~225 to 275 cm] from nose to the base of the tail, which extends another half their body length out and is covered in long, soft fur that typically stands mostly straight out from the tail. Wreshanna typically have a Unity Standard Body Ratio of 1.9 to 2.3 [wreshanna have dense bones and muscles, so just because it looks thin doesn't mean you won't break your back trying to pick one up].
Wresh fur is usually solid colored with a gradient color at the tips of the tail and ears, that travels towards the center of the wresh as they age, with a lighter shade of their coat color covering their chest. Common wresh coat colors are vibrant red, dull blue, dull green, black, and purple while gold, silver, copper, and metallic blue are common gradient colors.
The wreshanna consider the coat colors red, black, and purple to be the best while silver and metallic blue are considered the most attractive gradient colors.
The wreshanna follow the Unity Standard Sexual Configuration of male and female, but also have a third sex, bearer, that is relatively rare. Wreshanna that have spent their infancy in a bearer's pouch appear to gain some of the physical traits exhibited by the bearer as well as being mentally and physically superior to wreshanna that didn't spend their infancy in a bearer's pouch.
Gift
The wreshanna possess advanced telekinesis that allows them to interact with objects as if they had 6 manipulators with 3 digits each. This telekinesis appears to put the strain of the forces involved in the manipulation on their 6 legs and only has a distance of about 5 times their body length.
Human Half-Breed
Known as wreshuns, half-wresh typically have 4 arms, 2 legs, 2 human ears, 2 wresh ears, fur covered bodies, wresh tails, wresh eyes, and density to the wresh. If a wreshun breeds with a human, they produce a kitsune which typically deviate from humans in that they have the addition of 2 wresh ears and a wresh tail.
Wreshuns also possess the ability to use ghost hands, but are limited to 4 of them. Kitsunes are limited to 2 ghost hands.

Human/Humans (Terran/Terrans)

Classification: Bipedal, Yyyn-like Technological Level: Unity integrated technology, advanced hydrocarbons, extremely advanced kinetics Biological Role: Omnivorous scavenger, endurance predator, pack hunter
Physical Description
Humans are bipedal mammals with primarily exposed skin that are easier to describe in reference to the yyyn. Humans possess smaller heads than the yyyn with eyes that contain pupils and irises, which range in color from dark brown to blue, green, and white, and a patch of hair on their heads that can have almost any color seen on any species, but variations of brown are the most common. Human skin tones span the range of yyyn skin tones, but can also be darker than the yyyn, with some being brown enough as to appear black. Humans are usually 10 to 20 USL [~15 to 30 cm] taller than their yyyn counterparts and typically have a Unity Standard Body Ratio of 1 to 1.3.
Humans place a heavy focus on the body shape, muscle mass, and fat content of an individual when determining fitness for mating.
The humans follow the Unity Standard Sexual Configuration of male and female.
Gift
Humans have the ability to successfully breed with any sapient species that has a Gift. It is currently unknown if humans can successfully breed with non-sapient species that possess a Gift, but the Unity is not eager to figure out if that is true. An odd quirk of this Gift is the consistency in the offspring when humans breed with the same species (for example, all known wreshuns have 2 human ears, 2 wresh ears, and 4 arms).
The human Gift appears to be stronger during first contact, causing a near 100% chance of successful breading, even with contraceptives. Post-first contact sex appears to fall in line with known statistics of human pregnancy chances and appears to be affected by the use of contraceptives.
A stronger version of the human Gift appears to manifest in less than 0.03% of their population. This version does not respect the species's first contact, but instead the individual's first contact with other species.
Partial Humans
Partial humans appear to retain the human Gift in stages. Any partial human who is at least 1/2 human appears to gain the full Gift, while 1/4 humans can breed with any creature that has at least 1/8 human in them, and 1/8 humans can only breed with those of the same mix as them, humans of at least 1/4 human, and any species that they are at least 1/4 of.

Dolff/Dolvves

Classification: Quadrupedal, Lupine [the original yyyn word is based on appearance, not species family] Biological Role: Obligate rushdown predator
Physical Description
Dolvves are fur covered quadrupeds with 4 legs that end in hard paws with 4 forward facing claws and a climbing claw approximately 6 USL [~10 cm] from the paw with a typical quadrupedal lower section 166 to 200 USL [~250 to 300 cm] long and 100 to 117 USL [~150 to 175 cm] tall, a yyyn-like torso that connects to the front of the quadrupedal lower section and is 50 to 83 USL [~75 to 125 cm] tall, and a tail covered in drooping fur that is 33 to 50 USL [~50 to 75 cm]. Dolvves possess the stereotypical lupine head with slightly sharper teeth than is typical. Dolvven eyes contain a pupil and iris. Dolvves typically have a Unity Standard Body Ratio of 1.5 to 1.7.
Dolff fur is usually solid colored with a lighter color on the front of the torso and the stomach of the lower section, and is thick and coarse. Common dolff coat colors are black to white and dark blue, with white females and black males being the most prized colorations. However, dolvves judge their mates more on technical skills or combat abilities than appearance, so less prized colorations rarely have trouble competing with more prized colorations.
The dolvves follow the Unity Standard Sexual Configuration of male and female.
Gift
The dolvves possess the ability to run across any surface (liquid, solid, or [best translation is semi-newtonian]), including upside down. Their Gift does not affect them while they are walking, galloping or standing still, which testing proved can result in a tired dolff falling off of the ceiling as they stop to take a breath.
Human Half-Breed
Known as werewolves, half-dolvves can best be described as a dolff's features on a human's body. They are usually around around 166 USL [~250 cm] tall and can have fur that is black, white, or any human hair color.
Werewolves posses the Gift to travel across fluids so long as they are moving, such as walking, running or limping.

Kigkig/Kigkigs

Classification: Quadrupedal, Insectile [the original yyyn word is based on appearance, not species family] Biological Role: Eusocial generalist omnivore
Physical Description
Kigkigs are chitin covered quadrupeds with 10 total limbs: 4 limbs forming a quadpod stand at its hips with 6 arms ending in hands with 3 clawed digits. The head of a kigkig is similar in shape to a rounded triangle with one tip being able to open [ant-like] with two large, round eyes with a vertical slit of a pupil with four "pinholes" with colored sclera [gecko-like] with a tuft of hair covering the top of the head. The bodies of kigkigs are made up of two distinct sections, that connect at the same spot as their legs, and are considered stout by Unity average. Kigkigs typically stand at 66 to 93 USL [~100 to 140 cm] tall and have a Unity Standard Body Ratio of 0.9 to 1.5.
Kigkig chitin and hair is typically the same color and can be black, brown, red, or white. The kigkig find colors similar to their own most attractive.
The kgikigs follow the Unity Standard Sexual Configuration of male and female, with females either being "queens" that lay unfertilized egg sacks or "workers" that are infertile.
Gift
The kigkig possess the ability to control burning flames. This includes increasing the amount of fuel and air consumed (making a hotter flame), altering the shape of the flame, spreading the flame out, shrinking the flame, fueling the fire off of their own stamina, etc. Kigkig with the abnormally potent variant of their Gift can create fire from their own stamina reserves, and may wear such flames as armor or weapons when fighting.
Human Half-Breed
Kigkig half-breeds appear mostly human except they are covered in chitin and have 4 arms. Roughly 1 in 4 half-kigkigs will be born with eyes similar to the kigkigs'.
Kigkig half-breeds possess the Gift to create, usually from their palms, either a roughly baseball (human reference) sized ball of fire or a 1 USBD [~5 meters] long and wide cone of flame.

Yyyn

Classification: Bipedal, Yyyn-like Biological Role: Omnivorous scavenger, thrower
Physical Description
Yyyn are considered to be the most generic species within the Unity, being bipedal mammals with exposed skin and no hair, solid black eyes that take up approximately 1/4 of their large, compared to most species, heads and gray to light yellow-brown skin. Yyyn have 2 rounded ears, hands with 4 fingers and 1 thumb, and feet with 5 toes. Yyyn typically stand between 80 to 100 USL [~120 to 150 cm] tall and typically have a Unity Standard Body Ratio of 0.9 to 1.2.
Yyyn typically choose their mates based off of personality and mental acuity.
The yyyn follow the Unity Standard Sexual Configuration of male and female.
Gift
The yyyn possess the ability to alter the elasticity, hardness, ductility, and density of an object. This alteration is not permanent, the object returning to its original material properties after the yyyn has lost focus on the intended alterations.
Human Half-Breed
Known as elves, half-yyyn appear human, except that they are on average thinner and shorter than humans and have pointed ears.
Elves have the Gift to alter the material properties of their bodies, or portions of their bodies. With proper training, these actions can become subconscious.

Yes You Must Say the Entire Name of Our Glorious Species (Namy/Namies, YYMSENOGS/YYMSENOGSs)

Classification: Bipedal, Avian [the original yyyn word is based on appearance, not species family] Biological Role: Social flying herbivores
Physical Description
[Namies] are feathered bipeds with 3 clawed digits on their hands and feet, and a beak that ranges from 1/2 the size of their heads to 1/10 the size of their heads. [Namies] are typically 100 to 133 USL [~150 to 200 cm] tall when standing straight, though they typically hunch over and let their feathery tails, which range from 1/4 to 2 times their height in length, balance their bodies. [Namies] typically have a Unity Standard Body Ratio of 0.4 to 0.7.
[Namies] feathers range almost every known color within the Unity Standard Color Spectrum, with males typically being multiple, bright colors while females are typically a single color. Females with duller feathers and males with the most colors are consider visually attractive to the [Namies].
The [Namies] follow the Unity Standard Sexual Configuration of male and female.
Gift
The [Namies] possess the ability to alter the color of metal. The [Namies'] Gift does not allow them to create patterns, as it colors the entire piece of metal a single color.
Human Half-Breed
Half-[Namies] typically resemble a feather covered human with a slight forward leaning and a large talon digit on each hand and foot.
Half-[Namies] have the Gift to color any material they touch, except themselves, but are limited to the colors of their feathers.

Lililiten/Lililitens

Classification: Immobile, Plant Biological Role: Varies
Physical Description
Lililitens are the single most diverse species in all of the unity. However, they typically "stand" at 20 to 100 USL [~30 to 150 cm], have green, red or blue stems, and have flowers that cover a range of colors wider than the Unity Standard Color Spectrum. Some Lililitens have a red or brown bark that covers their bodies. Most Lililitens have green leaves, though leaves of yellow, blue and red are possible, as are needles. Lililitens typically have a Unity Standard Body Ratio of 0.5 to 2.3.
Lililitens, themselves, do not have sexes, but their flowers follow the Unity Standard Sexual Configuration of male and female.
Gift
Lililitens possess the ability to control other plants, and typically move around using a combination of vines, or grasses, and woody plants as if they were a mix between a planter and a mech suit.
Human Half-Breed
Known as treants or dryads, based on whether they are born with woody or herbaceous skin, half-Lililitens appear as if humans with woody, bark-like skin or soft, green skin. Half-Lililitens are capable of gaining sustenance through food, which appears to be improved when they photosynthesize as well, however they do not appear to be able to comfortably live off of photosynthesis alone. It is also notable that their minds develop to adulthood in approximately 1.6 USOT [~5 years].
Half-Lililitens have the Gift to detect the state of soil around plants and understand what needs to be done to the soil to make it safe for the plant in question.

Ohnonono/Ohnononos

Classification: Unknown Biological Role: Unknown
Physical Description
Outside of an average height of 107 to 133 USL [~160 to 200 cm], nothing else is known about the physical description of the Ohnonono. Only 34 Ohnononos were ever seen in person and all of them have been covered in so much protective gear that their actual forms are unknown.
Gift
Some theorize that Ohnononos possess supernatural secrecy, but most scientists dismiss this theory.
Human Half-Breed
While it is known that Captain Kirk was able to produce children with an Ohnonono, no further information on the child is known.

Tut'un'erton/Tut'un'ertons (Tut)

Classification: Bipedal, Silicon-based, Stone-like Biological Role: Filter feeder
Physical Description
The Tuts resemble 127 to 160 USL [~190 to 240 cm] tall bipedal statues made of rough stone, possibly with, or without, a head outside of the torso. The outer stone of Tuts may be gray, brown, black, metallic and/or glossy. Tuts typically have a Unity Standard Body Ratio of 4.5 to 9.8.
The Tuts are notable for their liquid gold based blood and the fact that they can't survive in a Unity Standard Environment, even with protective equipment.
Gift
Tuts possess the ability to separate metals and stones into their basic, elemental forms, usually into a gemstone-like state.
Human Half-Breed
Known as Golems, only 2 half-Tuts are known to have existed. Exactly what their Gift is hasn't been documented.

Virilliam Tentacle Beast/Virilliam Tentacle Beasts (Virilliam/Virilliams)

Classification: Aberration [typically used for uncharacterizable species or living masses of tentacles] Biological Role: Ambush predator, scavenger, filter feeder
Physical Description
Virilliams are, externally, little more than a 23 to 37 USL [~35 to 55 cm] sphere with anywhere from 15 to 100 tentacles that vary in purpose from sensory tentacles contain a single, black dot style [chameleon-like] eye to heavier grasping tentacles to mating tentacles. The length of individual tentacles range from 60 to 247 USL [~90 to 370 cm] in length. Virilliams typically have a Unity Standard Body Ratio of 1.5 to 3.
Virilliams come in a pallet of 2 to 5 colors, typically bright or aggressive colors. Virilliams are known to flaunt their bright, and often patterned, tentacles, but due to the commonly held sentiment of not wanting to do any research into the mating rituals of the Virilliams, it is currently unknown what is considered most attractive by their species.
Gift
Virilliams possess the ability to project emotions and basic mental states onto other species and machines. With an experienced recipient or a specially designed machine, this ability can allow full, one way communication equivalent, and sometimes superior, to standard vocalized language.
Human Half-Breed
Half-Virilliams are human in shape, typically with skin coloration similar to a Virilliam's and 4 to 12 tentacles of 60 to 120 USL [~90 to 180 cm] in length.
Half-Virilliams possess the Gift to project emotions up to 2 USBD [~10 meters] away from them, affecting all within that range. Common uses include a dread aura, a sadness aura, and a happiness aura.

Hrumrum/Hrumrums

Classification: Bipedal, Quadrupedal, Vulpine [the original yyyn word is based on appearance, not species family] Biological Role: Carrion eater, egg stealer
Physical Description
Hrumrums are furred quadrupeds made up of a body covered in thick fur, giving the appearance of a furball 17 to 23 USL [~25 to 35 cm] in diameter, with 4 arms, which are roughly twice the length of their furball diameter, that end in 4 fingered hands. The head of a Hrumrum is typically inside their furballs and is a small, vulpine head with small, solid black eyes, a wet, black nose, and blunt, dagger-like teeth within the muzzle. Hrumrums typically walk on only 2 of their hands at any time, but they may occasionally walk on all 4 hands. Hrumrums typically have a Unity Standard Body Ratio of 0.7 to 1.
Hrumrums are almost perfectly uniform in color with the only two known colorations being white and "dirty" white, which is a near-white, pale yellow color. They don't appear to notice the difference in colorations unless another points it out.
Gift
Hrumrums possess the ability to create sound originating within 1 USBD [~5 meters] away from themselves. The volume and range of sounds a Hrumrum can produced are based solely on skill with their Gift, with the vast majority being able to reach speech at a yelling volume by adulthood.
Human Half-Breed
Half-Hrumrums, sometimes called cottonballs, possess the standard human configuration of limbs with thick coat of long, straight, white fur and a head with a short, furry muzzle ending in a wet, black nose and a pair of black beady eyes. Via willingly shaving a half-Hrumrum, it was discovered that they have long, vulpine ears, which are typically hidden by their fur. Half-Hrumrums typically stand 90 to 113 USL [~135 to 170 cm] tall.
Half-Hrumrums appear to possess the same Gift as the Hrumrums, but with less control of the origination point.

Floofermuttin/Floofermuttins

Classification: Bipedal, Ovine [the original yyyn word is based on appearance, not species family] Biological Role: Climbing herbivore
Physical Description
Floofermuttins are wool covered bipeds that stand 80 to 120 USL [~120 to 180 cm] tall, have 2 arms with 5 fingers, that have bone plates on the outside of the hands as well as climbing claws, and 2 legs, that end in hoofed feet with an extendable climbing spike, and an ovine head with 3 eyes, 1 on each side with 1 forward eye with horizontal pupils, a long snout filled with flat, crushing teeth, and a pair of thick, curled horns that are present on both sexes. Floofermuttins typically have a Unity Standard Body Ratio of 0.8 to 1.5.
The wool of Floofermuttins is typically a stone gray, black, brown, green or snowy white. This appears to be regional, with Floofermuttins finding those with the best colors to camouflage themselves within a region most attractive, which has lead to Floofermuttins born in space slowly developing silver wool.
WARNING: Despite appearances and the "cuteness" (human description) of their name, Floofermuttins are highly territory and quick to anger. They also tend to be aggressive and blunt, but there is some variation in their personalities.
Gift
Floofermuttins possess the ability to be invincible so long as they are charging. It has been found [by humans] that this Gift can be "interrupted" by heavy kinetics or high energy explosives.
Human Half-Breed
Known as Satyrs, half-Floofermuttins possess a Floofermuttin lower half with a human upper half, with the curled horns of a Floofermuttin and ovine ears.
Half-Floofermuttins have the Gift to "ignore" inertia while charging, being unphased by forces that don't completely stop them (such as explosives, kinetics, or thin walls). They can still be injured while in this state.

Sfurnu/Sfurnus

Classification: Bipedal, Silicate Biological Role: "Herbivore"
Physical Description
Sfurnus are silicon based, gemstone-like bipeds that stand at 40 to 73 [~60 to 110 cm] tall and resemble a bipedal silhouette. They have a pair of eyes which are made of a different gemstone than their bodies. Sfurunus typically have a Unity Standard Body Ratio of 2.5 to 6.
Sfurnus are typically "made of" silicon or corundum based gemstones.
WARNING: Sfurnus produce a highly aggressive form of asbestos by respiration. While this is harmless to most silicate species, carbon based species with lungs, or similar forms of respiration, are vulnerable to respiratory damage from the asbestos. In some forms of respirating, carbon-based life, the asbestos can also cause damage to the toxin removal systems.
Gift
Sfurnus possess the ability to shape gemstones, and themselves to a limited degree. While this is mostly used for industrial purposes, Sfurnus have been known to create claws and eject shards via their Gift in self defense.
Human Half-Breed
A half-Sfurnu is virtually indistinguishable from a normal Sfurnu, with the only reliable way to determine human lineage being an adult height within the human range.
Half-Sfurnus have demonstrated that their Gift grants them far greater control of their own bodies enabling them to, for example, create defensive spikes, throw shards, grow claws, create denser sections that are more resilient to damage, etc.

Keredos

Classification: Bipedal, Yyyn-like Biological Role: Ambush predator
Physical Description
Keredos are bare skinned bipeds with two arms, two legs, and a head, with 8 fingered hands and 6 toed feet, and limbs that are far too long for their bodies. When standing straight, most Keredos will stand between 140 to 183 USL [~210 to 275 cm] tall, however they find it more comfortable to heavily slouch most of the time. Keredos have a Unity Standard Body Ratio of 0.8 to 1.1.
Keredos skin is typically stone gray, pale brown or light green. Given 0.04 USBT [~15 minutes], a Keredos can alter their skin color to any color within the Unity Standard Color Spectrum, with exception to a narrow range of dark blues and purples.
The Keredos follow the Unity Standard Sexual Configuration of male and female, but given 19 USRT [~90 days] a Keredos can change its sex.
It is also worth noting that Keredos have skeletons made of a semi-muscular cartilage that can tense to become stiffer or relax to become more flexible. This cartilage skeleton is not capable of hardening to the strength of a traditional calcium skeleton.
Gift
Keredos have the ability to compress or expand themselves up to 4 fold. This compresses or expands in all physical dimensions, but does not alter their mass.
Human Half-Breed
There is no known half-Keredos. When a human and a Keredos breed, the result is a pure blooded human. This is considered an oddity with the human quirk on par with elves' pointed ears.

PreadiPreadirs

Classification: Octopedal, Saurian [the original yyyn word is based on appearance, not species family] Biological Role: Rushdown predator
Physical Description
Preadirs are long bodied octopeds covered in thick, hard scales with 4 arms ending in handfeet with 4 fingers and 1 thumb, and 4 legs ending in feet with 3 clawed toes. The eyes and mouth of a Preadir are placed at the front end of the body. While Preadirs normally walk on all 8 limbs, they can raise the front of their body over the 4 back legs, enabling them to utilize their 4 handfeet. Preadirs are typically 200 to 267 USL [~300 to 400 cm] in length, 30 to 50 USL [~45 to 75 cm] in width, and 53 to 80 USL [~80 to 120 cm] in height. Preadirs usually have a Unity Standard Body Ratio of 1.2 to 1.9.
The Preadirs follow the Unity Standard Sexual Configuration of male and female, with females attaching the eggs to the male's back after fertilization.
Gift
Preadirs have the ability to digest any material they eat, regardless of how it should interact with their stomach's biochemistry.
Human Half-Breed
REDACTED

OrisoOrisors

Classification: Bipedal, Yyyn-like Biological Role: Omnivorous scavenger
Physical Description
Orisors are bare skinned bipeds with two arms and two legs, each of which ends in a hand or foot with 5 stubby digits, and a head with two forward facing eyes and long, wide, pointed ears on the sides of their heads. Orisors have thick hair that grows on their heads, forearms and thighs. Orisors' "soft" skin is thicker than is average for bare skinned species, protecting them both from attack and cold. Orisors average from 50 to 80 USL [~75 to 120 cm] tall, with females being roughly 5% larger than males. Orisors usually have a Unity Standard Body Ratio of 1.6 to 2.2.
Orisors are typically green, red or gray skinned, though obsidian black and blue are common enough to mention. Some Orisors are born with [concept that roughly translates to that of the golden spiral] "tattoos" of a silver, gold, or black color. Orisor hair colors are typically dark, dark red and black being common, which is contrasted by their bright irises, with yellow, pink and silver being common.
Orisors determine fitness to mate based off of a mix of boasts and pranks, though Orisors mate anytime they find a fitting partner that is ready to mate once they are ready to mate.
The Orisors follow the Unity Standard Sexual Configuration of male and female.
Gift
Orisors possess the ability to "displace" themselves, moving up to 0.014 USBT [~5 minutes] worth of movement, and acquiring the appropriate amount of fatigue for the movement, instantly. Orisors have admitted that the experience is like the world freezing, with them being able to move but unable to interact with anything not on their person.
Human Half-Breed
Known as Orcs, half-Orisors appear as normal humans with 4 abnormal traits: Skin and eye colors within the Orisor spectrum, pointed ears (wider than those exhibited by elves), tusks and greater muscle.
Orcs possess the Gift to "displace" physical harm for up to 0.014 USBT [~5 minutes], receiving all of the damage at once when the Gift deactivates.

Qwell

Classification: Tripedal, [the original yyyn word describes creatures that use quills as a defensive measure] Biological Role: Digging insectivore
Physical Description
Qwell are fur covered tripeds with 3 arms, 3 legs, and a head, with each hand possessing 2 fingers, 1 thumb and a long, curved digging claw, and each food splitting into 2 forward toes and 1 backward toe. Qwell have short, round faces with small, beady blue eyes, a wide nose, and hidden ears. The backs of Qwell are covered in 15 to 20 USL [~23 to 30 cm] long quills that are kept flat while the Qwell is calm, however when a Qwell feels threatened they will curl up into a ball and their quills will stand straight out. Qwell typically stand 53 to 63 USL [~80 to 95 cm] in height and have a Unity Standard Body Ratio of 1 to 1.7.
Qwell typically have black, brown or green fur with white tipped, black spines. Green fur is generally considered the most attractive by Qwell, but the emergence of dark red fur has created a vogue around the coloration.
The Quell follow the Unity Standard Sexual Configuration of male and female, with two extra sexes: Hermaphrodite and queen. Hermaphrodite Qwell are less fertile than a male or female Qwell, but are perfectly capable of performing both reproductive duties. Queen Qwell implant their eggs into the wombs of females and hermaphrodites, which then carry the eggs until they are fertilized. Female Qwell are born without egg cells and contribute to the genetic material of their children during the child's embryonic development.
WARNING: Qwell quills are barbed and possess small poison sacks that eject their contents upon removal. Do not attempt to remove Qwell quills without surgery performed by an experienced, and appropriately certified, surgeon.
Gift
Qwell possess the ability to chew through any material, however the material's properties can make this process long and tedious. Their Gift does not harm their own mouths and makes their entire mouth effectively invincible while chewing.
Human Half-Breed
Half-Qwell are furred and quilled like Qwells, but otherwise human.
Half-Qwell possess the Gift to violently eject a portion of their quills. It is worth noting that this defensive attack is incredibly inaccurate, but can pierce grade 8 [grade 8 armor typically has enough kinetic resistance to protect the wearer from 3 hits from a full powered rifle] ballistic combat armor at a range of 5 USBD [~25 meters], but is typically only effective out to 1 USBD [~5 meters] due to spread.

Lemhith/Lemhiths

Classification: Complete shapeshifter Biological Role: "Scavenging" omnivore
Physical Description
Lemhiths, in their natural form appear as shapeless, [roughly translates to semi-newtonian], gray masses. Lemhiths are rarely seen in this state, instead mimic other species down to said species' organs.
Lemhiths do not follow the Unity Standard Sexual Configuration of male and female, reproducing by exchanging genetic material between two Lemhiths, without any currently known restrictions, and splitting off a new Lemhith.
Gift
When assuming the form of another species, or individual, the Lemhith will know exactly how to act to blend in as an average member of that species or as the individual. This only covers actions, accents, languages, and idiolects, but not memories, important events, or other cultural/person knowledge.
Human Half-Breed
Known as doppelgangers, half-Lemhiths appear human except for a lack of facial features and unnaturally pale skin. Doppelgangers can mimic almost any yyyn-like individual from 60 to 183 USL [~90 to 275 cm] in height.
Doppelgangers have the Gift to know and understand what those around them believe the individual they are mimicking will do, and can usually take the expected actions as if it were second nature.

Ke'aveola/Ke'aveolas [Ke/Kes]

Classification: Pentapedal, Macropod [the original yyyn word is based on appearance, not species family] Biological Role: Pack-hunting rushdown predator
Physical Description
Kes are fur covered pentapeds, which resemble a tripodal creature when standing vertically. Kes have 2 dedicated legs (the largest limbs on their bodies), 2 arms (that serve as legs during typical movement), and a strong tail (that serves as a leg during typical movement). The head of a Ke is long and triangular with 2 large, solid black eyes positioned in such a way to allow almost rear vision and forward depth perception. The hands of a Ke have a large palm, 4 thick fingers and a thumb that curls upwards during typical movement. The feet resemble large paddles and have 3 short toes. Males typically stand at 20 to 30 USL [~30 to 45 cm], while females typically stand at 50 to 80 USL [~75 to 120 cm], with both sexes usually having a Unity Standard Body Ratio of 0.8 to 1.1.
Kes typically have two colors, one on their bodies and another on their limbs. These colors can be yellow, red, blue, purple, pink, or orange. The Kes consider a blue body with orange limbs to be the most attractive coloration.
The Kes follow the Unity Standard Sexual Configuration of male and female.
Gift
Kes possess the ability to cause plants to grow at 1,000 times their normal rate, and shape them while doing so. This growth uses up as much water and nutrients as if the plant was growing that amount normally, except all within the accelerated time frame.
Human Half-Breed
Half-Kes look like thin, furred humans with a powerful tail that drags behind them on the ground. They usually have a coloration that is a combination of their human and Ke parents.
Half-Ke possess the Gift to shape dead plant matter they are touching via will alone.
Continued in comments.

TY for the award! Idk how to reply back bc I’m new to Reddit!!
—
Literally after I posted my first review for another pair, these Gucci Aces from TS Zippy arrived! If anyone wants, I'll do a detailed comparison of reps, but this is only against my authentic heart aces!
***
## **Intro**

• TS Zippy
• WeChat ID: hh3608960 (He might have a few bc this one says Zippy @ 2)
• $69 USD for shoes (I used PayPal and paid the extra $4.99 fee) No discount was provided for this review!
• Payment method: PayPal
• DHL, but the package I got was from Fedex (I originally purchased two pairs and was charged $45 USD for both, but then I RL'ed one of them and had to pay an additional $8 for one pair. So I think to ship one pair, it's $30 USD).
• Timeline:
  • Contacted: September 13
  • I was going back and forth on styles, finally landed on what I wanted and paid for two shoes on October 2
  • Received 1st PSP's on October 13, and I had to swap both because they were too small after asking Zippy to measure the insoles.
  • Received 2nd PSP's on October 27, and approved the pair I am reviewing. But, I asked to swap the second pair.
  • Received 3rd PSP's for the second pair on November 6 and ultimately decided against buying them.
  • Shipped: November 11, in between the two dates, we were discussing how to use my refund to buy other shoes.
  • Received: November 19!! (8 days to the US!!)

***
## **Photos**

• [My photos] I marked authentic for reference with the blue X. I’ve had the authentic heart aces for 3 years and recently scrubbed them!
• [PSP]
• [Factory pictures] I don't see the blue ones, just the plain croc. I had submitted a stock image to him and he confirmed he had them.
• [Authentic]

***
## **Quality - 9.5/10 (this is just averaging 10 and the Accuracy score)**

1. Leather: Real leather, faint smell out of the box
2. Detail: (see Accuracy description below)
3. Price: Overall, these shoes are great especially for the price point! They come out minimum $20 cheaper than other sellers!

***
## **Accuracy - 9/10**
Overall, these shoes are great especially for the price point!
However, I think there's some differences you could notice if let's say your friend wanted to try on your shoes. (Just say no lol!)

1. Insole: They are cut really roughly / jagged on the sides. (see pictures) - 0.05
2. Outsole: near the band, there's a jagged-ness on the left shoe where the rubber meets it (see pictures) - 0.05
3. Width: The rep is noticeably wider than the authentic. I think at the widest, it's off by 3 to 4 mm (see pics). If you lace them tighter, it might mitigate the problem from the top. I was debating about the score for this bc I think this only comes in men’s and maybe that’s why they’re wider? - 0.2
4. Sizing / label: These are a size 40 (which are the same as the Euro 38 authentics). The number is printed ever so slanted in the left shoe tongue. - 0.05

But, the biggest thing I'm taking points off for is something others would notice while you're wearing them walking (in my opinion).

1. Logo: Zippy and I went back and forth a few times about logos. The GUCCI is thick, bright, and peeling in some parts. I've tried the eyebrow powder on top and it's still very bright (see pictures) - 0.85 (i noticed the thickness and brightness in the PSP's but I didn't see the peeling).

Some negligible differences that I thought I'd point out:

1. Laces: laces do not come laced correctly, I corrected before I took the photos FYI
2. Scales: Apparently there's something hard about repping the blue watersnake. I've read other reviews but I'm bad at QC'ing. The scales are most probably not python and I didn't expect them to be.

Differences in the FEEL - not deducting points because I think unless you have the authentic in hand, you wouldn't be able to tell.

1. Weight: The reps feel slightly heavier than authentic.
2. Leather thickness: Authentic aces are thinner, I tried to capture in photos the rep is puffier in the tongue and the start of the sides. Especially on the toe box, the reps have no give.
3. Insoles: Authentic insoles are firmer while rep insoles are more bendy and squishy (I think it makes them comfier).
4. Sizing: Anyone with a true 40 would know these aren't real (since these equal a 38). The imprint in the tongue is also thinner than authentics.

Other things to note:

1. I'm not sure if Zippy ships with boxes. I specifically asked not to just to make it easier fur customs!
2. One thing that Zippy does great is the COLOR! These are not a stark white like other reps, the leather looks really really natural compared to the authentic! I'm giving this a bonus 0.2.

***
## **Satisfaction - 9.75/10 (Averaging quality score and Seller Communication Score)**
Zippy and I had so much back and forth about the other pair I ultimately RL'ed. And he had to remind me that reps aren't 1:1. So in my mind, I knew the shoes I was getting weren't going to meet my high expectations.
I'd still rock these out but not to the Gucci store. Also, the shoes are incredibly comfortable! Not sure if it’s bc they’re wider. I also again, give props to the color and shape being pretty much spot on!
***
## **Seller Communication and Service - 10/10**
Zippy is the MOST patient man in the world. (Or woman, I'm not sure.) Because I definitely have high expectations. We had over a month of back and forth about one pair of shoes, I asked for a bunch of extra videos, and photos, and measurements, but he was incredibly responsive (within 24 hours and it seemed around the clock tbh), nice, and patient in helping me through this process.
I was driving myself crazy with the QC'ing, and I think Zippy took the best attitude of just reminding me that reps, at the end of the day, are reps, and factories try their best to make customers happy. :)
I would buy again, the price point is excellent (much more affordable than other sellers for a solid mid to high tier rep), the actual material of the shoes is great, and I think overall, the shoe is beautiful! In fact, I have two more McQueens coming from him and Ive been eyeing some other Aces! Stay tuned!

Hello HFY, the next in my series of what happens when humanity's special gift in the stars is to have children with whoever they damn well please. As with the prior 2, I welcome constructive criticism.
This time I'm gonna try writing what Cass thinks and feels as 1st person thoughts, rather than 3rd person narration.
As always, all you humans and mixed breeds: Keep those comments exciting!
Author Wiki | Series Wiki | World Anvil
First | Previous | Next
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Cass stretched as she woke, surrounded by her comfortable enough bed and not quite warm enough covers. Sitting up, she looked around, her wresh ears flicking from side to side. 3. 2. 1.
Next to the bed a small clock threw itself into the air as it screamed out "Awake! Enter the awake state! Alert! It is time..."
The button on the clock depressed as Cass reached out with "ghost hands," before violently setting the clock back down on the night stand. Need to pick up a real alarm clock when I get a chance to visit Earth again.
Falling from her bed, Cass made her way to the bathroom, leaning herself against the wall the whole way. Finally standing on her own, she yawned before rubbing her eyes, stripping and taking her morning shower. Once the far too short shower was finished, Cass went about the rest of her pre-dress routine without bothering to dry herself off.
Walking out of the bathroom as nude and dry as she entered, Cass looked around her bedroom. Where is it? Where is it? OH, there it is! Cass picked up a silver triangle the size of her palm with two green "gems" and a single red "gem." Placing the triangle on the center of her upper chest with the red "gem" pointing down, Cass tapped the center of the triangle.
A wave of silver mist spread across Cass's torso, arms and legs, leaving behind the form fitting, ocean blue, body glove-like uniform of the Unity Office of Diplomatic Relations. At least the yyyn can make one thing convenient and comfortable.
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Nuubliter's Authentic Human Diner was as busy as it was every morning, with Danny (the poor, purple wreshun server boy) rushing from one end of the bar to another with a mug of coffee in each of his four arms and four more mugs floating floating around him.
Seated at the middle of the diner's bar was a human man wearing a dark yellow jump suit, cat calling at Danny while wearing a grin of confidence that Cass had only seen on womanizing spacers. As she passed by the human, she leaned over and whispered "Danny's a boy."
Cass let out a snicker as she heard the man's slam his forehead into the bar and mutter "Well fuck me then."
Cass took a seat at the end of the bar, making sure that there weren't any seats behind her. As she set up her 2 in 1, a mug filled with steaming, caramel colored fluid met the counter top. "Thanks Danny."
"You're welcome. Should I ring you up now or when you come back after work?" Danny asked, with a deep voice fitting his 215 cm height.
"After work." Cass said, Danny shuffling off to go deal with other customers. As the 2 in 1 finished booting, Cass pulled up the Wresh Unified version of the virilliam tentacle beast first contact video. Gotta watching it just once more. Make sure I didn't miss anything.
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Cass looked up at the sound of the door to her office opening, the ear buds in her human ears still playing Farting Fireworks. Tilbulter stood in the doorway waiting for Cass to click the pause button on her music. The yyyn stood 170 cm tall with pale, grayish skin and the typical oversized head of a yyyn with comically large, solid black eyes. Don't call him a grey. Don't call him a grey.
"Studious Farrell, I have a scout report from the endlessly creative Unified Governments of Earth and Her Colonies that needs translated to Unity Standard Language before the UG Journey docks. Yadakulter Station wants to be aware of what the UG Journey might be bringing onto the station." Stated Tilbulter as he placed a not-quite-paper document onto Cass's desk.
"I'll get what I can done. No promises, this is a big report." Cass replied as the report traveled from one side of her tablet to the other. "But I will get this started immediately."
"Very good. Also, once you have the UG Journey's inventory and crew list translated, send me those." Does he always have to speak such perfect standard? Could he maybe put some inflection in there? To spice it up? God, computers are more fun to talk to than Bossman.
"Understood. Will do."
"Will you be updating the appropriate live documents and databases once you have finished your translation?"
"I was planning on passing it off to Martha."
"Her name is Marrffinianoa."
"All the humans here just call her Martha. She's fine with it and it's a lot easier for us."
"Very well. I shall leave you to your duties, Studious Farrell."
Cass restarted Baby's Got Scales by Farting Fireworks as she picked up the pile of not-quite-papers. English. Scout report. This is going to be interesting.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

UG Journey, Pre-Docking Scout Report, Aug 15, 2214 [Cycle 662, USOT 1, USRT 3]

Translated to Unity Standard Language by Cassandra Ferrell (Report UGSR-J-15-8-2214-T1)
[Translator notes added in square brackets]
Commanding Officer: Capt. Taylor Farrell Mission Brief: Explore Sector G31 for distress signals and pre-contact life
Captain's Log, July 23rd, 2214
First contact with the Zyshowins complete. I don't believe that they are ready for the Unity, but I carefully gave each of their continents a separate piece of technology, as per regulation FC-6 Revision 221. Placed a monitoring satellite in high orbit.
I have high hopes for the Zyshowins and believe that their polities will be able to work together well enough to build their first FTL spacecraft.
Captain's Log, July 26th, 2214
Detected an ohnonono fleet outside their registered territories. Found no official requests to move their fleet through lililiten space. Ordered crew to follow the ohnonono fleet in stealth mode. Submitted possible hostilities report to Star Rose Naval Command.
Captain's Log, July 29th, 2214
Received permission to follow the ohnonono fleet from Star Rose Naval Command. Star Rose Naval Command has requested the Journey to aid in any engagements should the ohnonono fleet prove hostile. I have confirmed that the Journey will aid under Unity Maritime Law ML-1 Revision 6. Request for proper orders has been sent to UGEC outpost Silent Watcher.
Captain's Log, July 30th, 2214
UGEC outpost Silent Watcher has relayed orders back from UGEC Space Force Command. Following orders to monitor and engage if hostile action is detected. Calculated ohnonono fleet's jump endpoint. Needed to vent heat after being in stealth for so long.
Captain's Log, Aug 2nd, 2214
Ohnonono fleet has warped into an unknown system. Remained in stealth and ordered the Journey to hide in the asteroid belt and deploy Quiet Mk. 9 reconnaissance drones.
Captain's Log, Aug 4th, 2214
Ohnonono fleet is moving to the 5th planet in the system. Dubbing system Rigger until further notice. Quiet drones report that Rigger 5 is in Goldilocks zone. Deployed Nightstalker 3 stealth kinetic defense drones. Ordered ENS Jenkins to calculate ohnonono fleet movements.
Captain's Log, Aug 5th, 2214
Received radio signals from Rigger 5. Ordered ENS Baker to get them deciphered and translated. Initiated Pre-Contact Protection Protocol PC-15-5 Revision 8.
Captain's Log, Aug 6th, 2214
Ohnonono Fleet has entered outer orbit of Rigger 5. Ohnonono fleet moved into bombardment position. One of the Quiet drones intercepted the countdown to bombardment. Ordered ENS Jenkins to coordinated the Nightstalkers to attack ohnonono fleet the moment their shields drop for glassing. Initial attack destroyed or disabled 15 of the 17 ships within the fleet. 4 glassing bombs were dropped on Rigger 5.
Dumped heat within the asteroid belt and performed a low gravity point warp behind Rigger 5's moon. Ordered Nightstalker drones to attack the remaining ships in offset volleys. Ohnonono ships were able to destroy 1/3 of Nightstalkers before their shields fell to kill range.
The Journey orbited the moon and lined up to take out the larger of the 2 ohnonono ships. Spinal cannon shot was effective and scored a kill on the larger ship. 1/2 of Nightstalkers remained. Final ohnonono ship attempted escape. ENS Baker suggested having the still stealthed Quiets ram the remaining ohnonono ship.
I approved of ENS Baker's tactic, which proved successful. Recalled surviving drones. Deployed marines to bombarded zones to handle standard relief efforts.
Captain's Log, Aug 8th, 2214
All deployed fireteams reported signs of intelligence, but no obvious natives. Supplies were left at all relief sites, as per Relief Protocol RP-5 Revision 3. Stg. Smith returned without pants and claimed to have had an accident. Assuming non-standard sapient species. Placed a monitoring satellite in high orbit of Rigger 5. Placed a Unity Relay Buoy in Rigger system. Placed 5 Eagle Eye Mk. 2 starship detection satellites in Rigger system.
Relayed events to UGEC outpost Silent Watcher. Asked for restock destination.
Captain's Log, Aug 9th, 2214
UGEC Space Force Command ordered the Journey to dock at Yadakulter Station and meet with UG Bismark II for resupply. Civilian merchant craft Queen has been commissioned to produce 16 pairs of replacement pants for Stg. Smith.
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Cass sat back, letting her hands relax for a moment. Looks like I got it all done in time. A few taps on the keyboard and a beep from the tablet dock and the full translation was sent to Tilbulter and Martha. Cass looked over the front page of the report again.
Looks like Dad will have some shore leave... UUUUUGGGGHHHH! I have to clean up the apartment.
Next

Do you constantly get disturbed by your partner's movement in bed? Does your partner take up a whole lot of space in bed, cramping you up in one corner?
Partner disturbance is one of the most common complaints about the poor quality of sleep. There must be sufficient space for both partners while sleeping. Hence, it is important to invest in a good quality king size mattress. You will find a range of king size mattress online without the need of you going out. Following are some reasons why you need to buy a king size mattress online.

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The whole intention for a couple to get a king-size mattress online is to sleep better. Please rest assured that a mattress with a bigger breadth will help you and your partner freely move around without hampering each other's sleep. It's a great feeling to snuggle in with your partner, but for good sleep quality, it is essential that you can freely move your body, and now taking those washroom visits during the night will be way easier. Also, a fun fact did you know our body grows longer at night? Yes, it does grow 2 cm long, so buying a mattress then does consider this.
3. We sleep 1/3rd of our life
On average, we sleep for 8 hours per day that sums up to 2,29,961 hours in a lifetime, which is 1/3rd of our lives. Sleeping is, therefore, a vital function of our life, and we should invest in our sleep by buying the right mattress. A mattress that not only suits your couple's requirements but also considering various factors like health issues, old age, working couple, etc. It is known to us how poor sleep quality depletes our productivity and lack of ability to focus. There are various mattress stores online, which will help you get your ideal mattress.
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Buying a king size mattress online or any mattress size for that matter is a value-added expense. While we are spending on numerous other things that do not even count in our essential list, we should not neglect a mattress that comes on our essential list. Also, spending on a good quality mattress is a justifiable expense considering its health benefits and comfort. One time mattress purchase will last you for a decade. Now online mattress purchases are covered under a warranty frame, so be rest assured in any uncertain event with your mattress.
To Sum Up
With the increase in people buying a good quality mattress, there is a boom in online mattress stores. An online mattress store provides you various options to cater to your needs with a warranty. Even if you want to buy a single bed mattress online, you will get it. You can now buy your ideal mattress at https://biancamattress.com/, a place of high-grade mattresses. Someone who takes your sleep seriously

Best Mattresses

What is the best mattress on the market?

It is not to put more pressure on you, but buying a new mattress is one of the most important purchases you will make for your home . It needs to be a comfortable model that helps you get the best rest.
You also want a durable mattress that you don't have to replace every few years and above all make sure that the price you paid for it has been worth it.
To help you in the purchase we have tested the best brands, materials and characteristics and here we bring you what for us are the best mattresses you can buy in 2020 .
What type of mattress are you looking for?

• Best Marriage Mattress
• Best mattress plastic cover
• Best anti-decubitus mattress
• Best cheap sealy Mattress
• Best crib mattress
• Best aloe vera pillow
• Best cheap single mattress
• Best aloe vera mattress
• Best mattress 90x190
• Best mattress 150x190
• Best mattress 135x190
• Best Flex Mattress
• Best Pikolín mattress
• Best Tempur mattress

Tips for choosing a good mattress

To know which mattresses you should buy, you must take into account some recommendations , such as the different models and characteristics of each one:

• Movement: When we do not sleep alone and the other person is constantly moving or getting up, it can bother us and make us wake up, so it is necessary to choose between the top mattresses that take care of the transmission of movement and reduce it to the maximum, being the most recommended of memory foam, latex and pocket springs.
• Your posture : Although it may not seem necessary to look at this aspect, it is extremely important because it will determine the firmness of the mattress you need. For people who sleep on their back, great firmness is needed to prevent the body and back from sinking, if you sleep on your side it is better to opt for a soft mattress that maintains the position of the spine and if you sleep on your stomach its firmness should be intermediate to maintain the posture favorably.
• Size : Your height also determines your mattress since it is recommended that it be at least 10 cm longer than your length, however there are different standards such as Spanish and European in general , but the recommended mattresses vary according to their type: individual, double , queen size and king size .
• Materials : No material is bad but they are recommended for different uses , for example: foam is cheap and for beds that are used occasionally, memory foams are better for those who sleep on their sides and for many hours, springs for people with lumbar and hot ailments, while latex ones are for those who move a lot and are allergic or asthmatic.
• Temperature : All bodies do not have the same temperature, some are warmer or colder than others, so it is recommended that our mattress absorb the least amount of temperature possible , being ideal to opt for the best neutral mattresses that regulate this aspect.

How much money should I spend on my mattress?

Our purchase budget also affects the mattress that we are going to choose and it is necessary to get the best prices for quality-price mattresses and to obtain it we must not get carried away by offers that do not satisfy our need and we risk important aspects.

• Cheaper mattresses (less than € 80) - If you don't want to spend a lot, you can opt for these mattresses if they are for occasional uses, since if it is for daily use they will not meet all the characteristics to provide optimal sleep and will last much less.
• Better quality mattresses (more than € 80) - In order for the body to be as comfortable as possible at bedtime, it is advisable to look for the recommended mattresses that suit you, offer the best durability and are in the ranking of mattresses that more suits you.

Where can you buy a mattress?

Many times you can doubt where to buy your mattress and it is really difficult to decide especially if you want to buy online because you do not trust to get the one you need, so we provide you with a list of platforms that offer them so that you know how to choose your mattress without problems.

• Amazon mattresses - To choose the best mattress on the market online, you should without hesitation choose this platform since they offer you the most specific, specialized and quality models for your need, in addition to guaranteeing that they are as you ask for and delivery it doesn't take long.
• Carrefour mattresses - In this store you can find a limited offer, however the real problem is that the ones it has are in small quantities, which makes it difficult to choose the best prices.
• Hipercor mattresses - You can easily choose between the different ranges they offer, but their delivery is much higher than any other store, so it is recommended to look elsewhere.
• Mattresses from Lidl - If you are looking for a specialized model to suit your needs, then this is not the place to look because the mattresses they offer are standard, which limits your specific choice.

Advantages of using a mattress, what are its strengths?

Choosing your own mattress brings great benefits instead of buying a raised one and these advantages that we describe are based on our opinions about mattresses that will help you decide without problem.
What are the advantages of using a mattress? Its advantages are:

1. You can get a great variety available according to your needs.
2. They improve the quality of rest, compared to buying a standard mattress.
3. They are durable, have a useful life of 10 to 20 years.
4. There are various sizes for convenience.

hullo! i wasn't going to write a full review for this bag, but given that it is probably my favourite rep ever, i felt it would be remiss of me not to share the love. however, if you want a much more succinct review (completely understandable given my tendency to be tediously long-winded), please check out this comment i wrote on the daily ootd post after i'd just received it. no hard feelings, i promise. i'll just go cry into my cornflakes.

• Disclosure - linda offers a 10% discount on all orders, but i just calculated the discount she offered to me to be...6.14% hahahaa
• Seller info: the OG matriarch of our fav rep clan, TS linda
  • Wechat ID: MPPJ168
• Price of item: USD228 - $14 = $214 (approx. GBP 170, CNY 1519)
• Payment method used: PayPal F&F
• Price of shipping, carrier: USD60 for shipping via EMS, in a package that also contained a cannage book tote
• Order timeline:
  • 11 march - asked whether linda could source this bag and the so black 30 montaigne (yes to the latter too btw), she responded in minutes with factory pix, be still my beating heart, i paid right away
  • 14 march - received PSPs of the lady dior, GLed immediately
  • 23 march - shipped (gap between GL and dispatch was because linda very kindly exchanged my book tote for one from a different factory after the first one didn't match factory pictures)
  • 24 march to 30 april - package disappears into the bermuda triangle of a covid-afflicted world. they were schrödinger's bags at this point - i let go and let god, occupying myself with more mindless scrolling through wechat moments
  • 1 may - may day delight! the bags EXIST and find their way into my hands after i pay a ransom of some 15 quid to dave
• CCW!

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Photos

• My photos
• PSPs
• Factory pictures
• Authentic

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NB: in some places i have made double deductions in both quality and accuracy, because with this bag there are areas in the former which have an impact on the latter
Quality - 9.25/10

• stitching on the exterior of the bag and strap is tight and uniform
• leather is puffy, blemish-free, and soft to the touch. most people think the ultramatte leather needs to be babied, but that couldn't be further from the truth! it's highly scratch-resistant, not deathly allergic to water, and very squishy
• hardware is not flimsy, but there are spots on the charms which show minor chipping at the attachment points, even though i have yet to wear it out (-0.25)
• interior is lined with velvety suede, neatly sewn to the walls of the bag with no loose material
• there is a pretty big stitch missing from the corner of the tag inside the bag; it's visible in the PSPs and i spotted it then. it didn't bother me one bit though, but nevertheless (-0.5)
• zip on the pocket runs smoothly
• i tried to find more flaws i swear
• but came up empty
• this is an incredibly well made bag. i was genuinely at a loss for words when i pulled it out of its dustbag. the price was mid-tier (although linda did say it was 'best quality') - by way of contrast, heidi quoted me USD490 for the medium size (24cm) from angel factory. i'm unable to think of any disparity in quality that would warrant me paying ~double, for a smaller bag no less (accuracy is a different story, see below)

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Accuracy - 7.25/10
i know the score seems relatively low but i was BRUTAL with my assessment in a way i never am when QCing my purchases. to me, this bag is 100% passable. i wouldn't hesitate to walk into a boutique with it, it is that good in all the areas that matter. i will probably forget it's a rep soon, but for the benefit of my repfam:

• i've handled the auth in store, the weight and heft of the rep is consistent with it to the best of my memory. the website states the auth measures 32 x 25 x 11 cm and my rep is uncannily accurate. like, not even a millimetre longer. i don't know what the dimensions of the strap are supposed to be, but the site says it can be worn on the shoulder or crossbody, and mine is defo long enough to comfortably accommodate both methods
• the sides of the bags have that distinctive lady dior trapezoid - a wide base gently tapering to a narrower top. the alignment of the pattern at the corners is also pretty good, certainly better than the stock pictures on the dior site...
• blown away by the leather, i'd go as far as to say it's identical to auth. i own auth pieces from the same line and there is some variation between batches of ultramatte leather - some have larger grains, others have no grain at all. the bag's leather resembles that of my diorama, with almost no graininess (COMPARISON HERE). the matteness is also on point. note that with frequent handling, the leather may take on a slight sheen from absorption of the natural oils in your skin; my frequently manhandled card holder is visibly different to the other items. still, there is no way to mistake the leather as anything but matte. the stock pictures on the website featuring a model with the bag are VERY misleading, that's more lambskin than ultramatte lol
• similarly, the cannage pattern on the bag is spot-on. i've overlaid my card holder over the bag in an attempt to demonstrate that the widths and heights of the pattern are in line with auth. i promise any discrepancy you see is due to parallax error and/or my choice of photography angles
• for extreme nitpickers however, the thread used in auth products is a smidgen thicker and you can see the spirals of individual fibers (-0.25). plus, if you count the stitches that make up the sides of the squares, the rep has 10 compared to the auth's 11. like i said though, the overall dimensions of the pattern match up to auth, it's just that the stitches on the rep are a hair longer. good luck noticing this in the wild but (-0.25)
• there is a common misconception that the ultramatte hardware will inevitably chip, but that has not been true in my experience. whilst i am never careless with my things, neither am i precious about them. my diorama has been used heavily for over a year and the chain is still flawless, as are the charms on my card holder. sadly, the hardware on my rep's charms has already chipped as mentioned above. i think the pvd coating on the auth products is much more durable (possibly a different composition) than the one used by rep factories, which is completely understandable. (-1)
• the font of the D-I-O-R charms themselves look good! side-by-side comparison here. they are also attached to the rings with figure-8 loops, same as auth, and the drop length looks accurate to stock photos
• i feel like the font of the embossed 'christian dior' on the leather tag behind the charms and the interior tag is a bit off though. cannot say for certain whether it's the kerning or the letters per se but my unscientific conclusion is that something about it is weird *shrugs* (-0.25) who's gonna see these bits anyway?!
• we come to the achilles heel of most lady dior reps: the handles. mine is no exception. WELCOME TO FLOP CITY, ENJOY YOUR STAY! (-1) they can stay up if precariously balanced against each other like the world's lousiest pyramid (/ \), but the rings that run through the grommets on the bag will not be perpendicular to the bag. word on the street is angel factory has somehow figured out the voodoo necessary to keep the handles upright (to varying degrees of success?) but
  • they do not make the large
  • stiff handles are not worth a hypothetical 300 bucks more to me, much less the GBP3900 dior charges for the auth wtf there are people DYING, kim jones
  • the strap keeps them up when you're wearing it woohoo
• apart from that though, the handles are shaped well, of an appropriate thickness, and the edge on them is distinct and even. they are attached to the bag via a 'rocking' mechanism (which is why they can travel from side to side) that the auths use
• engraving on the hardware (the tiny CDs scattered around the grommets and strap) is sharp and looks to be the right font. the grommets on my bag are placed well (the CD isn't off-centre) and feature tiny screw shapes (think cartier love) on the opposite side
• there are five black feet on the base of the bag, which is correct. their shape looks like auth ones, but i'm keeping the plastic caps on them so moot point really
• flap top closure, material of interior, zipper pocket all fine. the suede is such a lint magnet though!! all the white flecks are from the paper pillows used to stuff the bag during shipment

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Satisfaction - 10/10 with BONUS REFERENCE FOR GUITAR STRAP

i am besotted with this bag. i can't wait to use it properly!! but a gem like this deserves to be dressed up more, doncha think? i decided lady dior can have little a fancier strap, as a treat. i must stress that the one which comes with the bag is perfectly adequate, but my utter lack of self-control and fiscal responsibility means i am now the sheepish owner of a flippin' strip of cloth that cost about three times more than the bag it's going to be attached to -____-
i know our TSs have reps of the guitar straps; i dutifully read every single review of them. in all honesty, i don't think any of them come close to passing. the main flaw with the reps is that they seem softer, flatter, and more...wrinkly. none of them (that i've seen) have nailed the shade of cream used on the authentic either, it's usually too yellow. this strap did come in BHW late last year, but they are impossible to track down now to my eternal sadness. finding one with SHW was tricky as it is, but i was lucky enough to snag one!
THIS WAY TO STRAP PHOTOS
the embroidery on the auth is noticeably 3D in real life. the cream is a tad whiter and brighter than the photos show. but please note how the embroidery is wonky on the A in 'christian', and P in 'paris' lmaooo. also, a common complaint with the reps is that the length falls short of the specified 95cm. well fear not, because SO DOES MINE. never thought i would be a size queen, but i am very sore that my strap is a full FIVE CENTIMETRES shorter than it should be!!! it currently retails for £760, and if you divide that by 95, we can assume that each cm of strap is worth £8. return me my 40 quid dior :@@@ !!!!!
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Seller Communication and Service - 10/10
linda is a sweetheart. she responds promptly, sends great PSPs, and really strives to see customers happy. she calls me dear and sends me heart emojis. what more i could i want from a seller?